10 THINGS TO GET YOU THROUGH!!

I had the lucky/unlucky ;) opportunity to speak to a group of woman at a church event. (In the LDS world it is called a relief society). One of my friend's in that ward asked me to come and speak about my trials and what has gotten me through them.

I have said it before and I'll say it again...public speaking is not one of my most favorite things to do! I'm a little shy and don't love the spotlight. But as it always is, it is an opportunity for me to learn and grow more for myself then for anyone else...so I gladly/reluctantly agreed to do it.

Speaking about my life's trials is the easy part...there is PLENTY to say there! ;) BUT taking the time to think about what SPECIFICALLY has gotten me through them was a sweet experience. I have already got a page on my blog entitled What Gets us Through. This list is the general basic list that has helped us through the hardest of times. But I took the time to really think about what has gotten me through the day to day trials that I deal with on a regular basis. As I prayed and thought about them in the weeks leading up to my talk...one or two would pop into my head until I came up with exactly 10 that I think sum it all up.

DISCLAIMER: ALL trials are SO different and unique in and of themselves so what has helped me, might not help you. I think often times there are unique things that may help someone through something that may not help someone else. So by no means am I trying to tell you how to deal with YOUR trial. But maybe...just maybe...one, two, or maybe all ten might help at least one person that reads this. If so...I will be SO SO happy!!

I think life is SO hard and we are all trying are very best. If we are willing to open up and share are lowest of low times as well as our highest of highs and what we have learned from it all...we can all help each other! I still feel like I am learning on a daily basis. I am still climbing this crazy mountain trying to just get a glimpse of the top. I have learned a lot on my way up and I feel like my mountain is not quite as steep as it once was but I know I still have SO much to learn and to do to get to where I want to be and where my Heavenly Father wants me to be!!

BUT the Apostle Peter said, "Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh...a reason for the hope that is in you."

So here they are in no particular order!

1. Look for your DAILY blessings!

It is SO easy to dwell on the hard and crappy things in your life but it takes real effort to look for the blessings that are all around you. It took Ashley Sullenger to comment on my blog and tell me how lucky I am to get to hold, love, and experience life with Dakota to get me out of my sadness of missing the boy I HAD and appreciate the blessings of the boy I HAVE. Learn to appreciate the simple things in life. Dakota's smile is my BIGGEST blessing these days! I promise if you take the time to look around you will be "counting your many blessings" and find JOY in each day, instead of misery!

2. Learn to Laugh

I really believe "laughter is the best medicine." There are a lot of things that could offend or make you mad but if you learn to laugh at them instead it makes life SO much more enjoyable. There are a million and one comments people say to or about Dakota or Zach that we could be easily offended by, but we just laugh and see the good intentions behind it all! I love Elder Worthlin's quote, "Come what may and love it.”

3. Your Future is as bright as your faith!

You all know my favorite quote that is on the top of my blog, "Your life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful." It is TRUE!! I promise! YOU determine your happiness and your future...not the events in your life! 

There is SO much to look forward to!!!!

D&C 58: 2-4 "...he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet but it is nigh at hand."

4. Read your scriptures and words of the latter day prophets and apostles.

There are SO many people in the scriptures that have been through the ringer themselves!! They have written down their lives and experiences for OUR benefit...to help YOU and ME through this difficult journey of life. If you take the time to really read and study them you will find specific answers and help to get you through ANYTHING!

5. Go to the temple often

 I wrote a blog entry about going there recently after Dakota's accident. There is PEACE inside those walls! Since the Brigham City temple opened around the same time Dakota started school I made a goal to try to go once a week. I didn't make it EVERY week but it was pretty close. EVERY time I left there I left  a better person then when I went in. It gave me an hour or two to leave my troubles at the door and focus on something great! I left with strength to take on all my challenges...at least until the next visit! ;)

6. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY

If there is ANYONE who wants to listen to ALL your troubles and help you through them it is your Heavenly Father. He is EAGER to help but you must come to him. Communicate your feelings, your fears, and your worries...He is there and will listen when no one else is!

7. Lose yourself in SERVICE

There is nothing that can bring you more joy and take your mind off of your own trials then serving others. If you look, it is SO easy to find someone in need of service...sometimes overwhelming at times. But when you give of yourself, your time, and your love...the trials you are facing are easily forgotten. You become more like your Savior and forget about yourself.

8. Take it 1 day at a time

Sometimes trials are overwhelming and you don't see ANY light at the end of the tunnel. I have A LOT of fears about the future. How will I take care of Dakota as he gets bigger?? Will we ever feel capable and ready to have another child?? I am COMPLETELY unsure of how everything is going to workout and look and that is SCARY to say the least. BUT I have learned, "Don't waste today worrying about tomorrow." If I focus on TODAY and what I need to do to get through today I can handle it! I do what I can for today and trust that my Heavenly Father will be there to help me get through the tomorrows.

9. Remember you are NEVER alone!!

I have felt at times that NO ONE can understand and no one can help me! But I have learned that my Savior has been with me through it ALL! He has outstretched arms willing and wanting to help IF we let him!

My favorite scripture is, D&C 84:88

“For I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up.”

10. Trust in your Heavenly Father's plan for YOU

This has been by far the hardest lesson for me to learn. I think I know what's best and I think I know how my life should look and it doesn't look ANYTHING like it's supposed to!!! But I have come to truly know and understand that there is SO much more to this life then I can comprehend and see in my limited knowledge and view. I know my Heavenly Father sees the big picture...the end from the beginning...and He and only He knows EXACTLY what I need. It has been hard to accept that I may not get all the answers to all my "Whys" right now! But I know as I trust in my Heavenly Father one day I will understand. I have already seen some of the HUGE blessings that have come from Him messing up MY plans! And I am grateful that He loves me enough to let me struggle through my trials to learn and become who He wants me to be. I can only imagine how hard that must be for Him to not step in and fix it all when He most definitely could...just as we as parents have to let our kids learn the hard way sometimes too!

I shared this AMAZING video at the end that my AMAZING sister Annie sent me. I'm kind of obsessed with it so I thought I would share it on here too! 

Sorry for the confusion!!!

If you have gotten on my blog you may have gone to read the most recent post and saw that it was an old post. So I was going back and reading old posts and updating labels cuz I didn't start adding labels until half way through and I had NO IDEA when I updated them that some of them reposted! Wow!!! Crazy. Now I need to try and reorganize the dates! :/ Any suggestions on how to do this?!

My last post was Fight or Flight. Looking back they didn't all get out of order...not sure what I did. Has this happened to anyone else?! I'm mostly sad because I like to have them in chronological order for journaling sake!!

Fight or Flight...

With all of the recent tragedies going on in the world with shootings and bombings...the news often spends some time focusing on the heroes that stepped up to help and those who passed by. It is easy to watch from your safe and comfortable couch in your home and say "I would have ran towards the danger and chaos and helped. How could people pass by?"

But when you are actually faced with an unexpected, scary, tragedy would you really?!

When I look back now at the day that changed our life forever and the moment I found my tiny little boy with his face blue and non-responsive...I can easily think now he needed CPR. But in that very moment as I pushed the fence off of his little body and picked his limp tiny figure up into my arms the ONLY thing I could do was yell for help. I couldn't think rationally. I know CPR but the thought to perform it on him never even crossed my mind. All I could think was I needed help. I needed someone to come and fix whatever happened to my little boy and fix it NOW!!!

I haven't talked a lot about the angel that came to the rescue that day although I think about her very often. There were a lot of people outside at my parents that day helping set up for the reception but our sweet angel Carla Lindbloom is the one who dropped everything and came running as fast as she could.

I have known Carla since I was just a little girl. She was in our ward probably until I was about 12 when our ward was split. She was was neighbors to 2 of my best friends growing up so we played at her home often since their were only 3 homes in their little area surrounded by fields. I never could have imagined at that young age the role that she would play in my life.

That tragic day Carla wasn't even supposed to be at my parent's house. She hadn't told my mom she was coming to help and my mom already had several friends there helping out. But as she describes it she just kept feeling this sense of urgency that she needed to stop by and see if my mom needed help. She hadn't been there very long when the true reason our Heavenly Father prompted her to come came unfolded.

Carla is a dental hygienist and has had training in CPR. She was the first person that came into my view as I knelt on that dirt with Dakota in my arms. She immediately took him from my arms, laid him on the ground and performed CPR until the ambulance arrived. She never once stopped despite the fact that she was getting tired or that nothing at all was happening or changing with Dakota.

We didn't see a miraculous change in Dakota during those minutes she performed CPR like you see in the movies (all the sudden they start breathing or cough up the water in a drowning) but those several minutes of CPR could have been what allowed him to live. We will never know for sure how much it physically changed for Dakota but the fact that our Heavenly Father sent her there to help I'm sure it did enough!

To this day Carla will say it wasn't her that did it that day. That it was Heavenly Father using her body to perform that CPR. She is the sweetest, most spiritual, most loving person! We haven't seen her since the hospital stay but while we were in AZ these past 11 days I felt it so important for her to come see Dakota.

It was such a sweet little reunion. Her love for Dakota radiates so strongly out of her! In my mom's words as she describes her sweet friend Carla, "She is one of the most spiritual people I know. She always does what matters most."

Words can't describe the love and gratitude I have for Carla. For her courage to fight for Dakota when his mom couldn't think straight to do it herself. For her being so in tune to listen AND follow the prompting that our Heavenly Father gave her to be where he needed her to be...to do what he needed her to do. She will forever hold a special place in our families heart!

Thank you Angel Carla!!! We love you!!!!!!!

That same night Dakota also got a visit from these cute brothers that have been praying for Dakota since the accident. They were so sweet to him...gave him hugs and talked to him. They said they used to call him "baby Dakota" in their prayers because he was little when it happened but now they will call him, "big Dakota since he is a big boy now! ;)

Aren't they the cutest boys?! I think Dakota wants 4 brothers. ;)

Happy Mother's Day

It's still May so I'm officially not that far behind! Happy late Mother's Day to all you mother's out there!!! Sure hope it was a good one! Here is a little shout out to all of you! My friend sent me this video and I still am laughing about it! Maybe you already saw it but if not, if you are in need of a good laugh watch it!!

Mine was very special because MY mother was in town and I got to spend it with her! She lives in AZ so that really never happens. She had come up to watch Dakota for us while Zach and I went to Vegas (i promise update on that will come when life ever slows down) so we got to keep her for the weekend!

I know I'm a little partial but I have to say I have the BEST 2 mothers in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! Both Zach and I are blessed to be born to some amazing woman! Maybe Heavenly Father knew how crappy our life would get so he let us have it easy growing up by giving us 2 amazing woman who would teach us, strengthen us, and love us unconditionally to prepare us for the H#@$ he was gonna throw at us. Also He knew we would need some MAJOR help and support to get through what we were given so he gave us these 2 beautiful woman!!!

They are both very different from each other but I love that! They have both taught me things in different ways and have been amazing examples to me as woman, as mothers, as daughters of God, and as friends!

It's easy to say all of those kind words about your own mother but not everyone loves their mother in laws. But I truly was one of the lucky ones to be married into an amazing family and be BLESSED with a second mom who I adore! Getting married and living in UT where I knew NOBODY was not even a hard adjustment because of Vicki! She has loved me as her own and has treated me with nothing but love and kindness. I really feel like she is just as much my mom as Zach's! Most people that see us together think that she is my mom over Zach's anyways! ;)

Happy Mother's Day MOMs!! Sure do love you and am SOOO grateful to have you in our lives!!!

Me and my mom

 

Vicki and Dakota were twinners!

 

Spending my mother's day the way I love best...with my 2 favorite boys!!

 

So blessed to be a mom!!!!!!!!!!

 

My mother's day present!

And picture! ;)

 

 

Spring Life

Well it is officially spring...FINALLY!!! I LOVE spring weather, although here in UT it has been a bit unpredictable. Nice and warm, feeling good then...bam it's cold. I think it is finally safe to say that it is only getting warmer from here!! YAY!!

We have FINALLY gotten to play outside again!!

Chillin in his swing with his sweet new shades that make him look like a big studly boy!

Back to our Ranger rides!! Saw this cute little stud in the middle on this tiny dirt bike with training wheels! So stinkin cute! He was only 5!! It was crazy to think Dakota could be doing that!!

 He got to ride this AWESOME bike at physical therapy! He loved it and it is SO good for his range of motion in his legs. I want one really bad! Too bad they are freakin $3000!!!!! Medical things are SO expensive. Maybe my handy man can make him one himself! ;)

He also loved this cute college girl in the background that was there helping. He was all smiles for her and trying harder then ever! Such a ladies man he is!!

Yea baby!!

I love EVERYTHING about spring except the loss of my husband to work. He goes from being home literally 24/7 with me ALL winter long...to me becoming a single parent wondering who my husband is! ;) Remember...he can't drive...so we literally go EVERYWHERE together all winter long! I have a built in "parent" sitter (your are not allowed to ask your husband to babysit...it is their child too!) all the time...it has it's benefits;) It's a good and bad thing. I personally think being away from your spouse for periods of the day is healthy though...even though I do have the best and most perfect husband in the world!! ;)

Now that it is back to landscaping he literally has been leaving at 5:30-6:30 a.m. and coming home between 8-9 p.m. Just in time to give Dakota a squeeze and kiss before bed. I really can't complain because you have to work to live...unfortunately!! And Zach is seriously the MOST hard working man I know. I can't even be mad at him for being gone so much because I know he would LOVE to be home with us instead of out doing hard physical labor all day, but even still he never complains about working these long hours. Even his cute hispanic workers told him he is the hardest working American they know. They have never worked for a boss that works as hard as him and that they respect him. Such a HUGE compliment coming from them!! He is so grateful to have so much work and to have found 2 awesome employees. He takes so much pride in what he does and he is just amazing!

I am as always behind in the regular what's happening in the Friedli household chaos so I am playing catch up today all the way back from the end of February. ;)

Before Zach got all busy with work we went to the last free day at the Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake. Although it was a pretty cold day we got some smiles out of Dakota man so it was well worth the trip!!

snuggling to stay warm!

The elephants..Zach can't tell when we are looking at the camera so you get a side profile! ;)

The seals and walrus were the most fun cuz they were the most active!

Check out that big thing!

Love this sunshiny smile!!

My cute happy boys!! Love spending time with them!

Bears

Love this pic...he is saying with those eyes and smile...check out those giraffes mom...do you see them?!  I think he liked them the most because he could see them the best because you can get so close to them.

Even had a cute baby!

Easter came and went as most of you already know! ;) I did post about my feelings that Easter but not the events...so here it is.

Pretty much Zach and I are the lamest parents ever and didn't help the Easter bunny do ANYTHING at our house. I grew up with the Easter bunny just hiding egss...no presents! Zach grew up with a lot more excitement so in turn we did NOTHING! Besides go to church of course. I know LAME! 

Lucky for Dakota he has the best grandparents in the world who like to spoil their grandchildren rotten so they had LOTS of things hidden for each grandchild so Dakota totally scored there and forgave us for being so lame!!

On our way to Grammy and Poppy's...he already knows what's coming!!

Such a cool dude! (I didn't match us on purpose I promise! ;) )

Going on an Easter hunt...SCORE!!

We had to help a little bit! ;)

Houston

Tate

 

Liv

Chillin with Uncle Ry...waiting his turn so patiently! 2 cool dudes!!

Maelee

Brother/sister love...love these 2!!

Just being cute with Uncle Ry and Aunt Lindsay

Loves his dad!

Yummy dinner!

Snuggling with beautiful Grandma Marilyn

Ryan and Lindsay found the GOLDEN egg on the adult hunt! 

All the grandkids!

Back in March I got to go to AZ for my mom's side of the family annual "girls luncheon." It is the third year they had it and I had never been since it is in AZ. So I was SO excited when my parents bought me a plane ticket for my birthday to be able to be there. It was SO SO good to see my aunts, cousins, and all their kids who I don't get to see near enough! 

I had such a fun time and definitely wished I had a little girl to enjoy the party with. Luckily I had my cute nieces to cousins girls to watch and have fun with!!

You were supposed to where a fancy hat or flower or something in your hair to the party. Luckily my niece Trai had made this fancy crown at a birthday party (seriously what a cute crown for a kids birthday party!). She let me borrow it since we both have start with T's! ;) Thanks Trai!!!

Me and my grandma...the queen of the party!!

and my mom!! Didn't realize we were standing tallest to shortest! ;)

 

Me and my sistas minus Dawn

 

Nieces Shea and Paige

Niece Logan...almost as tall as me!!!

Niece Avery...so fancy! ;)

The girls got to paint their nails at the party...

do their makeup!! Some wanted help...

others didn't! ;) They were SOOO beautiful! ;)

The queen of the party telling us how to behave! ;)

The cute tables with china and all!

We each got our own little cake that my mom and aunts made!! They slaved away and made like 45 of these bad boys! So cute!!

Fun pictures of past parties

To top it all off my mom and aunts dressed up and sang a little song and dance for us. Let's just say singing is DEFINITELY not in our family! ;) Lucky for them and all of you I'm not gonna post the video I took of the song! ;)

I got A LOT of shopping time in with my sisters! And of course some Nielsens Frozen Custard!

YUM!!!

Love ALL my time in AZ ALWAYS!!!

While I was gone for the weekend Zach took great care of Dakota (with a little help from grammy and poppy!) They went and saw some friends baby goats! Sad I missed it!

My friend Emily mentioned she was going to Baby Animal Days at American West Heritage Center and I thought that sounded fun. I had NO idea how crazy it would be there. As I waited to pull on to the street to even get into the place I knew this was a bad idea but I had already driven the 40 minutes to get there so we had to stay and check it out. It was super crowded and lots of lines.

I drug my friend Sarahn along...she probably hates me for it! ;) But it was fun nonetheless! ;)

 

Dang cute boys!

 

Looking for the train...

Still Looking...

Is it here?!

We waited a good 45 minutes to ride this train around for a couple minutes! It was worth it...right?! ;)

Got to watch a sheep get sheared.

 

Dakota got to ride the pony. (It was a great arm workout for me to keep him on there while he was moving!)

 

Even ran into one of the kids I had in my preshcool class in Head Start like 6 years ago. Totally recognized him and his mom! So fun to see how he has grown!

 

Went to support the victims of Boston in a run for them around Mantua Lake. Beautiful night...lots of bugs. Not sure how many Dakota ate?! ;)

My awesome friend Mel that ran the Boston marathon started it out with a little speech. She did aweseome!

I drug my little friend Jess out to run it with me!

Beautiful Lake view!

 

 

Other happenings...life is happening to fast to keep track. I have been super busy spray tanning which is crazy but good. Thanks to all who have come out to support our cousins! You rock!!

We took a quick trip to Vegas last week for Zach's posthole invention...more to come on that when I have more time! Dakota slept through the night for 3 consecutive nights and I was getting pretty excited...but then he stopped! ;) Oh well...I guess I will live with the fact that I will never EVER EVER EVER get a full nights sleep again...there is worse things...right?! ;)

 

Too bad he is super cute! ;)

 

 

School is out AZ here we come!! ;)