10 THINGS TO GET YOU THROUGH!!

I had the lucky/unlucky ;) opportunity to speak to a group of woman at a church event. (In the LDS world it is called a relief society). One of my friend's in that ward asked me to come and speak about my trials and what has gotten me through them.

I have said it before and I'll say it again...public speaking is not one of my most favorite things to do! I'm a little shy and don't love the spotlight. But as it always is, it is an opportunity for me to learn and grow more for myself then for anyone else...so I gladly/reluctantly agreed to do it.

Speaking about my life's trials is the easy part...there is PLENTY to say there! ;) BUT taking the time to think about what SPECIFICALLY has gotten me through them was a sweet experience. I have already got a page on my blog entitled What Gets us Through. This list is the general basic list that has helped us through the hardest of times. But I took the time to really think about what has gotten me through the day to day trials that I deal with on a regular basis. As I prayed and thought about them in the weeks leading up to my talk...one or two would pop into my head until I came up with exactly 10 that I think sum it all up.

DISCLAIMER: ALL trials are SO different and unique in and of themselves so what has helped me, might not help you. I think often times there are unique things that may help someone through something that may not help someone else. So by no means am I trying to tell you how to deal with YOUR trial. But maybe...just maybe...one, two, or maybe all ten might help at least one person that reads this. If so...I will be SO SO happy!!

I think life is SO hard and we are all trying are very best. If we are willing to open up and share are lowest of low times as well as our highest of highs and what we have learned from it all...we can all help each other! I still feel like I am learning on a daily basis. I am still climbing this crazy mountain trying to just get a glimpse of the top. I have learned a lot on my way up and I feel like my mountain is not quite as steep as it once was but I know I still have SO much to learn and to do to get to where I want to be and where my Heavenly Father wants me to be!!

BUT the Apostle Peter said, "Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh...a reason for the hope that is in you."

So here they are in no particular order!

1. Look for your DAILY blessings!

It is SO easy to dwell on the hard and crappy things in your life but it takes real effort to look for the blessings that are all around you. It took Ashley Sullenger to comment on my blog and tell me how lucky I am to get to hold, love, and experience life with Dakota to get me out of my sadness of missing the boy I HAD and appreciate the blessings of the boy I HAVE. Learn to appreciate the simple things in life. Dakota's smile is my BIGGEST blessing these days! I promise if you take the time to look around you will be "counting your many blessings" and find JOY in each day, instead of misery!

2. Learn to Laugh

I really believe "laughter is the best medicine." There are a lot of things that could offend or make you mad but if you learn to laugh at them instead it makes life SO much more enjoyable. There are a million and one comments people say to or about Dakota or Zach that we could be easily offended by, but we just laugh and see the good intentions behind it all! I love Elder Worthlin's quote, "Come what may and love it.”

3. Your Future is as bright as your faith!

You all know my favorite quote that is on the top of my blog, "Your life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful." It is TRUE!! I promise! YOU determine your happiness and your future...not the events in your life! 

There is SO much to look forward to!!!!

D&C 58: 2-4 "...he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet but it is nigh at hand."

4. Read your scriptures and words of the latter day prophets and apostles.

There are SO many people in the scriptures that have been through the ringer themselves!! They have written down their lives and experiences for OUR benefit...to help YOU and ME through this difficult journey of life. If you take the time to really read and study them you will find specific answers and help to get you through ANYTHING!

5. Go to the temple often

 I wrote a blog entry about going there recently after Dakota's accident. There is PEACE inside those walls! Since the Brigham City temple opened around the same time Dakota started school I made a goal to try to go once a week. I didn't make it EVERY week but it was pretty close. EVERY time I left there I left  a better person then when I went in. It gave me an hour or two to leave my troubles at the door and focus on something great! I left with strength to take on all my challenges...at least until the next visit! ;)

6. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY

If there is ANYONE who wants to listen to ALL your troubles and help you through them it is your Heavenly Father. He is EAGER to help but you must come to him. Communicate your feelings, your fears, and your worries...He is there and will listen when no one else is!

7. Lose yourself in SERVICE

There is nothing that can bring you more joy and take your mind off of your own trials then serving others. If you look, it is SO easy to find someone in need of service...sometimes overwhelming at times. But when you give of yourself, your time, and your love...the trials you are facing are easily forgotten. You become more like your Savior and forget about yourself.

8. Take it 1 day at a time

Sometimes trials are overwhelming and you don't see ANY light at the end of the tunnel. I have A LOT of fears about the future. How will I take care of Dakota as he gets bigger?? Will we ever feel capable and ready to have another child?? I am COMPLETELY unsure of how everything is going to workout and look and that is SCARY to say the least. BUT I have learned, "Don't waste today worrying about tomorrow." If I focus on TODAY and what I need to do to get through today I can handle it! I do what I can for today and trust that my Heavenly Father will be there to help me get through the tomorrows.

9. Remember you are NEVER alone!!

I have felt at times that NO ONE can understand and no one can help me! But I have learned that my Savior has been with me through it ALL! He has outstretched arms willing and wanting to help IF we let him!

My favorite scripture is, D&C 84:88

“For I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up.”

10. Trust in your Heavenly Father's plan for YOU

This has been by far the hardest lesson for me to learn. I think I know what's best and I think I know how my life should look and it doesn't look ANYTHING like it's supposed to!!! But I have come to truly know and understand that there is SO much more to this life then I can comprehend and see in my limited knowledge and view. I know my Heavenly Father sees the big picture...the end from the beginning...and He and only He knows EXACTLY what I need. It has been hard to accept that I may not get all the answers to all my "Whys" right now! But I know as I trust in my Heavenly Father one day I will understand. I have already seen some of the HUGE blessings that have come from Him messing up MY plans! And I am grateful that He loves me enough to let me struggle through my trials to learn and become who He wants me to be. I can only imagine how hard that must be for Him to not step in and fix it all when He most definitely could...just as we as parents have to let our kids learn the hard way sometimes too!

I shared this AMAZING video at the end that my AMAZING sister Annie sent me. I'm kind of obsessed with it so I thought I would share it on here too! 

Oh Brigham City

 

Have I mentioned before that I love where we live? I love our little town of Perry and the huge metropolis Brigham city that is a few miles away. ;) I love our local farmers and fruit stands...and most especially the millions of fresh peaches! I love seeing all of the fruit stands line the highway and little families outside their houses selling their fresh fruit and vegetables...it makes me happy.

I love our little neighborhood and all the people in it. I love the millions of kids all over the place...even the little 4 year old neighbor boy down the street that  likes to walk in our house when you dont expect it. 

I love that we are allowed to drive our ranger all over the streets of Perry and it is legal. ;) even to go to Walmart.

I love my group of hard core workout ladies that workout together with me at the local church at 5:30 three times a week and keep me motivated and sane. I love our little queit roads that we run on millions and millions of times.

I love the mountains that you see right out our front window that are just minutes away for great hikes, trail runs, and ranger rides. How many places can you live that you can literally run or ride your ranger right from your house to the trails??

I love Brigham City Peach Days that comes around each year. Zach and I took Dakota one night to walk around the crowd of people. The next day I ran the 10k race and ended up 2nd overall for woman with a time of 43:36 (7:10 average pace) After the race I hurried home, grabbed Dakota, and went to the parade (Zach didn't want to go...party pooper). And then that night my parents got in town and we went to the hypnotist show which was freakin hilarious. (thank you to all of you brave souls that were willing to volunteer so that we could laugh at your expense ;) )
I love that Brigham City just shuts Main Street down for most the weekend and pretty much everyone comes out to celebrate, shop the booths, eat peach cobbler, and enjoy.

And I am most especially excited that on September 23rd te LDS temple is going to open right here in Brigham city!!!!

It is a gorgeous temple and I already feel like it is my home, my safe haven, and it hasnt even opened yet. I had the wonderful opportunity to go and clean it for a few hours before the open house started. It was like getting a sneak peak and I fell in love with all of its intricate detail ALL over the place. It was such an honor to clean it...even though it was cleaner then my house already. :) I also got to help with serving refreshments one night during the open house. I loved serving for those four hours. I truly felt like I was doing the Lords work and wanted those cookies to look so good on the platter, the tables to be clean, and the floor free from all crumbs.

I got to go through the open house officially with my beautiful visiting teaching sisters. They are all wonderful and strong woman and I enjoyed the peacefulness and spirit that was there as we walked through together.

Thank you ladies!!

 

Then while my parents were here Zach and I went through with them. 
 

Love these 3!!

 

Love THIS guy!

 

Aren't they the cutest!!

 

 

Love MY temple! ;)

Love THIS kid!! (He got home from school right as we got home)

Love that because of the temple WE are an eternal FAMILY!!!

 

Now I look forward to going there and doing the Lords work, escaping the craziness and chaos of the world and my life, and pondering on the things of eternal value. I'm hoping at least while Dakota is in school 3 days a week to get to go once a week. That is my goal and now that it is so close to me I really have no excuse to not make it happen. So if anyone is ever wanting to go...let me know!! I always love company!!

Temple

I had the wonderful opportunity of going to the temple this week. Unfortunately it has been quite awhile since I have been. Zach and I's recommends expired in March and as it always goes it seems to take forever to get with the program to go and meet with the bishopric and then the stake president. After finally getting a new one I still hadn't gone for bout a month and was feeling that push to go. As you all know my time is super limited these days so it's not like I can just get up and go when I want and have my neighbor or whoever just watch Dakota for a few hours while I run and go. So...after way too long my sweet mother-in-law who started her "grammy days" for the summer with Dakota again (which is so super nice) met me up in Logan after we got out of the chamber so she could take Dakota home and I could go to the beautiful Logan temple. It was much needed and the experience was different then ever before.

As I walked up to the doors my heart was racing and I felt almost anxious. It was really weird. As I walked in and saw the sweet temple workers there to greet me I couldn't hold back the tears. I was like seriously Tessie...already?! I just felt this overwhelming feeling "welcome home." The temple is obviously not my "home" but I felt that sense of peace, love, and safety that you feel when you are home. It was as if the Lord himself was standing there greeting me and saying..."I'm so glad you finally came. I have been waiting for you and am so happy to see you." I knew that this is where I needed to be.

As I waited for the session to start I opened up the scriptures and at one point happened across D&C 98:1-3. "Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks; Waiting patiently on the Lord for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord, and are recorded with this seal and testament- the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted. Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory, saith the Lord.

I knew the Lord has heard every one of my millions of prayers and pleas although at times I have felt like maybe he wasn't listening to ME or maybe he doesn't care about ME. As I sat in the celestial room and poured my heart out I felt like he was right there next to me just listening to every single word. I know that no matter where you pray He hears you but for some reason in there I felt like He was closer and listening even more then He ever has. I knew my prayers "have entered into the ears of the Lord" and one day they will all be fulfilled.  I can't wait when all of these afflictions will "work together for my good." I am learning more about patience and trust then ever before and I can never let go of the faith and hope that is in my heart because when I do I am filled with despair.

I was the last one in the celestial room and I'm sure the temple worker was a little worried about me but I didn't want to leave. I felt for a little while that all of my burdens and worries that weigh me down every day were just lifted off me for a bit...not gone...they were still sitting next to me on the couch but I didn't have to hold them for awhile and it felt good. I didn't want to leave because I didn't want to pick them up again. If they would have let me I would have brought my blow up mattress and just slept there overnight if I could. :)

As I eventually got the courage to leave, walking out those doors my circumstances hadn't changed a bit but I felt stronger and more determined to take on this crazy life I'm living. I even thought for a second "bring it on...I can do this. I can do hard things." At least for awhile. :)

More Updates on Dakota

Buzzmania!!! A friend of our family Debbie Haggard made him that cute blanket, Doug and Vicki got him those sweet pants, and we have three Buzz Light Year Toys for him to hold onto. He is in heaven! :)

I first just have to thank all of you for your sweet comments, love, prayers, and faith! I would love to comment back to each one of you but even though I’m sitting in a hospital 24 hours a day, I just can’t seem to find the time. So please know that we read and love them all. You give us so much strength and encouragement during this hard time.

It is official as of today that they are going to place a trach via a tracheostsomy in Dakota’s throat and a g-tube (can’t remember the official name) in his stomach Friday morning. Some of you are saying what is that???? Well, the tracheotomy tube that will go in his throat is our next step to help him make some more progress. It is a tube that is inserted into the airway in his neck so his breathing bypasses his mouth and allows him to breathe from his neck instead. (I’m sure lots of you have seen them before) He has been on the breathing ventilator since we got here and there is high risk for unnecessary infections and problems if that is in too long. He is able to breathe pretty much on his own now but the problem is that he is not swallowing. Because he is not swallowing, he has a lot of secretions that normally we swallow that he can’t get rid of. This makes it hard to breath and allows the secretions to go down to the lungs which obviously causes problems. So pretty much the only option is to do the trach which will allow him to get the breathing tube out (which has already caused an infection), help him begin breathing on his own, and allow him to get the rehab that he needs. The g-tube will replace the feeding tube that goes through his nose right now, so he will be fed directly into his stomach which will decrease the chance of that tube becoming infected.

I know all of this doesn’t sound like that great of news and believe me as his mom it still sounds very scary to me but it is the only option we have to be able to get him out of the PICU and begin getting him into rehab to help him relearn all those things that he needs to learn again like swallowing, eating walking, talking, etc. The good news is that if he begins swallowing and doing those things on his own again both the tracheotomy and the g-tube can come out. They are not permanent and so we hope they will not have to be in for long. He will have to stay in the PICU for ten days after the surgery so we are still looking at at least two weeks in this hospital. It is hard to imagine that it has only been a week and a half because it feels like forever, so two more weeks was hard to take in at first but we will just take it day by day. The nurses, doctors, and staff here have been great though and have made us feel very comfortable in our “home away from home.” The doctors are hoping that after those two weeks they will be able to transfer him back to Utah to a rehab facility there which will be nice to get back home again. (We will miss this great weather though and of course my amazing family here) We still need to work out all the kinks with insurance and things before it is a go ahead but that is what they are looking at right now.

It is all still really hard to take in and we understand it is going to be a slow process in helping our sweet Dakota get back up and running again, but it feels so good to know that it is possible. We know Dakota has chosen to stay with us as he has fought so hard to be here, so we will just keep fighting for him and staying strong.

My understanding of what faith is has grown so much throughout all of our trials and especially this one. I have truly come to understand and know that true faith is COMPLETE trust in our Heavenly Father, even when you don’t know what lies ahead. It is easy to say that but when you are faced with something like this you are definitely put to the test. It is hard not knowing what lies ahead but I have come to trust in my Heavenly Father that whatever it is we can do it. It has been amazing to feel the love of my Heavenly Father through all of this and the peace and comfort that He has provided me. As my heart has been poured out to my Heavenly Father all day every day for the last week and a half, I have felt his love and know that He is there, He hears me, and He loves me. As I have watched other mothers with their babies come into the PICU and seen their tears, it has opened my eyes. I realize that I’m not the only one that is going through tough times and that all of these other mothers I’m sure are pouring out their hearts to Him as well. But the amazing thing about it is…I know that He hears each and every prayer that I’m saying and not only does He hear it He is there comforting me and giving me strength to keep going…and doing the same for everyone else. I know that He loves each and every one of us and his heart aches even more than ours does for the pain that we are going through.

We were able to go to the temple last night and that was so neat. We have only physically left the hospital a handful of times and although it feels good to get out of that environment, I always get an anxious feeling about being gone too. Today at the temple we both felt so much peace and comfort and we know “all is well.” Like I said before, we don’t know exactly what lies ahead, how long it will be, and even how hard it is going to be, but we know that with the Lord’s help anything is possible and all things will eventually work for our good.

Keep up the prayers and faith please!!! We continue to feel your strength and we know that Dakota does too. He is still the cutest little guy ever and we love him SOOO much!! Keep fighting buddy!

I finally decided it’s time for pics of our little sweetie. So here you go!

Helping the nurse give him a bath.

 Does Dakota have the best mom or what? (This caption is from Ashley, not Tessie :))

 The ASU music therapy student singing and the occupational therapist working on him. See how dead asleep he is?

When he opened his eyes for Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam. So awake!!!

 Wearing his new Toy Story cowboy boots that Grandma and Grandpa Rhees sent him. The doctors want him to wear them every couple hours to help his feet stay in good position. I know he is loving it! :)

 Holding daddy's hand. Zach's favorite thing to do.