Guest Post for Ashley Sullenger

The AMAZING Ashley Sullenger (who just wrote a post about Dakota here) asked me awhile back before she had her twins to write a guest post for her blog about what I have learned from Dakota. Since this ties in perfectly with Dakota's birthday month as we are all sharing what we have learned and LOVE about Dakota I will share the link here if you would like to hear what I have learned from my sweet angel boy!

I was so grateful for this opportunity because it is ALWAYS good to have to sit down and think about some of the important lessons you have learned...to remind yourself...so you NEVER forget and continue to learn from them!! (I DEFINITELY don't want to have to relive and relearn them!!) ;)

If you haven't been following her blog you MUST!! She is such an inspirational and motivational person and writer who has been through so much herself!! I absolutely ADORE her and she is for sure one of my "heroes"!!!

Why WE Love Dakota…Jodi

Each person I post about, I can’t seem to say enough good about them to give you a true description of what amazing people they are. Jodi is definitely one of those people!!

Jodi is for sure on my top list of “heroes” even though she is one who I have never gotten to meet and hug in person!! Jodi reached out to me through my blog but with a perspective that most people don’t have. Jodi suffered a stroke very young…after the birth of her third child.

Because of this trial and the miracle that she survived it…she is able to relate and understand Dakota in a way that no one else can…including me!! After her stroke she was in a similar physical condition as Dakota…unable to even sit up on her own with a trach and a g-tube. Because she has struggled to relearn SO much like Dakota is doing, she has a deep compassion and strong understanding of his day to day struggles.

She has allowed me to ask her TONS and TONS of questions about her experience…what it felt like to have a trach and have it suctioned out of, what does a g-tube feel like, etc. To read just a few of them go here Dear Tessie. She has helped me to understand my little boy so much better and has given me hope through her successes to not ever give up!! Often times when I am tired and frustrated at doing the same things over and over with Dakota and not seeing much or VERY slow improvement…I think maybe I should just stop wasting our time….but Jodi is a constant reminder and example to me that it is ALL worth it! No matter how long it takes…no matter how many times we have to try…you never know how far you will get…especially if you quite trying!!

Another cool think about Jodi is that we are related!!! I had no idea until I wrote a blog post about her and my great aunt emailed me after reading it that she is my cousin. Her father-in-law is MY dad’s cousin!!! Small world and I am honored to call her my cousin! ;)

To learn more about her crazy hard journey through life go to her blog http://carlsonjodi.blogspot.com
She is a true inspiration!!

Jodi holding Ana Jain a few days before her stroke.  This is a recent pic of these darling two.

Here is what she had to say about Dakota:

On my sons soccer team is a boy named Dakota and every time I hear them yell his name, I think of Dakota Friedli and a little smile comes to my face.

This may seem like an odd reaction to thinking of him. One would assume sadness, anger, or some other negative emotion might be more appropriate. But, if you have ever met, seen, or heard about him, happiness only seems the  natural reaction.

This is a boy who can't even tell his mom if he has an itch,  or  can't express his fear at trying new things, things other kids take for granted like getting on the bus or meeting a new teacher. It must be terribly frustrating to him. Yet, almost every picture or video of him he is wearing the sweetest grin or laughing the funniest laugh! He seems to have a talent for finding ways to be happy and for making those around him happy as well.

Dakota also shows such strength and determination.  It is my honest feeling that when he had his accident, he had the choice to stay or return to Heaven. It would have been sooo much easier for him to go but he chose to stay. Now, although he may not be able to say so, I am sure that every day is a struggle. I never understood until recently, how difficult being handicapped is. Just BEING. Things such as going to church or attending a family get together are exhausting! I imagine his brain telling his muscles to do something and it taking all of his mental and physical strength to do something (relatively) huge like pushing a button to start or stop music.  

I am constantly amazed at this boy and truly feel that when we all get a chance to meet him in the next life, we will be speechless at his greatness.

Of course I can't talk about Dakota without mentioning his parents. The whole reason he is so happy and most likely reason for his choice to stay on the earth, is because of them. His struggles are their struggles and his triumphs are their triumphs. I am awed by their strength, courage, and choice to be happy. They are a true example of a good mommy and daddy.

I recently read a quote that seems perfect for their whole family.
"By taking Jesus’ yoke upon us and enduring, we learn most deeply of Him and especially how to be like Him. (SeeMatt. 11:29.) Even though our experiences are micro compared to His, the process is the same."-- Neal A Maxwell

This world is a better place because they are in it!


Thank you SO SO much Jodi for being a part of Dakota’s birthday month and for being the great example you are to me and everyone who knows you!!!

Heroes

So I'm sure you have noticed the side of my blog that says Heroes...I mentioned why I added that list on an older post.

I had the WONDERFUL opportunity to go to lunch and meet one of my newest heroes the other day Kali Winward.

Cafe Moores...YUM!

Her sweet little 7 year old boy was involved in a fire accident not too long ago here in our town. There were 5 boys total involved and he was the worst. I didn't know any of the families beforehand but of course my heart went out to them. When you have been through ANYTHING with your child and almost lost them you are FOREVER changed. She posted sweet and encouraging comments to me on my blog despite the fact that she was treading through this difficult water herself. I am SO happy she did though because it led me to her! I am a firm believer that you can NEVER have enough friends. Each person and friend that you make along your path will touch your life in a different way and teach you something new.

Her little guy Tayton almost didn't make it but he is such a brave little guy and pulled through!! He still has a long road ahead of him with more surgeries along the way so there family could use the love and prayers of all of you wonderful people out there.

His AMAZING mom has to do 5 hours of therapy a day with him which involves stretching his little fingers, hands, etc because of the skin graphs. It is pretty painful for him so of course as a mom it is not something that you would enjoy doing. Kali is SO loving and unselfish and does so much for Tayton and she is about to have a brand new baby in the next month!!

Tayton LOVES the Utah State University and is in a contest to win the title of THE BIGGEST Aggie fan!! It is a super tight race and he keeps going back and forth with a couple other kids so he can use ALL the votes he can get!! So if you have a spare minute PLEASE vote for him by clicking on each star. He is so cute and makes his mom check all day to see where he is at. If anyone deserves it, he does! He will win season tickets to a sporting event but really he just wants to win the "title" of THE BIGGEST Aggie fan out there! Isn't that so dang cute!! There are only TWO days left to vote so get on there and tell everyone you know...lets make Tayton and his families day!!! Click on this link to vote.

Keep up on sweet Tayton here!

My other Hero is my dear friend Emmi!! IF you have EVER clicked on her blog from my list of blogs you have probably fallen in love with her HILARIOUS sense of humor, her raw and real posts, and her darling little self!! I met Emmi through Western Wishes that Dakota became a part of. She was one of the people on the committee and she is one who just loves to give and serve!

Emmi is one of my heroes because of her honesty in the regular old hardships of life!! She suffered with post partum after having her 2 boys which is a huge battle! I didn't have to deal with that and I can't even imagine what that feels like but it is a real thing that we need to have compassion on for other people!!

She is struggling with some personal things but manages to still see the positive in life and continues to thank God every day for her blessings!! For goodness sakes her blog is entitled...To God Be the Glory!

Her blog is AMAZING because she is real. She wrote a post about how one of the #1 causes of depression in woman is from reading other woman's blogs. Everyone seems to post ONLY the good and wonderful things in their life and it paints a picture that they have "the perfect" life. Well, I'm the first one to say that I don't think ANYONE has a perfect life! Sorry chicas! It may look like it from the outside but EVERYONE has struggles big and small. Emmi is one who does the world a favor by posting about the good and the bad. I think we all learn more from each other when we are willing to share both. I'm not saying write a post every day about how bad your life sucks and only complain about this and that...because focusing on the negative things in life is not good. But I think it is appreciated by all woman when someone is willing to share some of their hardships and struggles so that others don't feel alone.

Life is hard and I think we could all learn from each other if more people would be willing to quite hiding behind this perfect life they are trying to portray and be real!!

My third hero that I adore is Melanie. We were connected through our pediatrician because she has a 9 year old boy that was born with a brain injury.  I admire her for her continued strength, endurance, and love!! It has only been 2 years that I have had to endure the new life of having a brain injured child and she is going on 9 years!! She is a superwoman in my eyes and I have LOVED becoming friends with her and her sweet boy Crew. He is DARLING! We both have an obsession with running...it is our personal therapy for sure!! She is even training for the Boston marathon right now...ROCK STAR!!

She recently has had some personal life changing things in her life and her plate is even fuller now! Even though she is struggling with her own challenges and going through so much right now she is still lifting me up and cheering me on! She is an amazing person and friend!! She doesn't write much on her blog lately but to follow her click here.

Keep all of these AMAZING woman in your prayers...I honestly don't think there could ever be enough!

Doin it 4 Dylan

Today we remembered sweet angel Dylan with the AMAZING Shaw family! I can't believe it has been a year. It seems like it was just the other day that he sat with me asking me questions about sweet Dakota...so concerned...despite that fact that he himself was fighting something much bigger then his little body could handle.

Dakota holding Dylan's balloon with our message to him. He wasn't very happy at that moment but after we let them go he gave some of the sweetest smiles. I think Dylan was telling him thank you! ;)

Though he was in our life for just a brief moment before he passed, he touched it and changed us so greatly. He brought Dakota presents that he bought with his own money when I'm sure there were a million and one things he would have wanted to buy with it. He had the sweetest smile that warmed your heart...even after the cancer made it start to go a little crooked. I still remember the excitement he had when we brought him a Denver Broncos football signed by the whole team (his favorite NFL team). He couldn't wait to show his sweet Dad. He had a heart of gold which is why he was called home so early. Only a boy like him could pass us all up in this life we call a test because he was so perfect and ready!

We miss you Dylan!! It is because of what you went through we were able to be touched and lifted by your sweet soul and your wonderful families. You guys came into our lives when we needed you most!! YOU left us much too early but I thank you for sharing your sweet family with us. I love that I can look at your baby brother Drew and see you in his tiny face. I know you are doing great things up there. Could you put in a good word for your buddy Dakota??? I know that's being a little selfish of me but I know the big man upstairs couldn't resist a request from YOU!!! WE LOVE YOU and will always try to live every day Doin it for YOU!!!

Strokes for Dummies

So if you look to the right side of my home page you will see I have a spot for blogs entitled "my heroes." Now I separated these few blogs because they are people...most whom I have never met personally...but whom I feel like I know...who I connect with on a level that others can't understand...who have also at times cheered for me and given me words of encouragement when I needed it most through comments, texts, emails, etc....they are those AMAZING individuals who have been through, are currently going through, or may even have a lifetime of going through a big trial that they never asked for but are living with such grace. They are individuals who I look up to with love, respect, and admiration for how they are living their lives despite what they have been through.

Everyone knows the quote "misery loves company" and that sounds horrible but I have to say it is somewhat true in a way. I don't wish my trials upon my worst enemy (not that I have any...I really don't!) or any trials for that matter. I wish the best for everyone BUT when you are going through something hard...there is some comfort in knowing that someone else out there is hurting too...that they understand...even if it's in a different way...they have felt what pain in your heart really feels like. And it's those people who really help you through and give you hope and strength that you can get through it too!

I LOVE blogs in the way that they can connect you to SO many people whom you would have never known otherwise. Don't you love how you can feel like you know somebody SO well but yet you have never even seen them in "REAL" life. These people are like celebrities to me...and maybe one day I will get to meet some of them...give them not just a handshake...but a big ol hug and say THANK YOU!!!

So...to my point...one of these heroes is a lady named Jodi. As a young mom...JUST having had her 3rd baby a few days old...she had a stroke that left her hospitalized for a long time and unable to take care of herself or her family for over a year. She had a trach, peg tube (like Dakota's g-tube), had to learn how to hold her head up and sit up and everything physical again. She is still recovering but home now with her family and doing amazing and recording it all on her blog.

I first came to know her because she left me a comment on one of my posts quite awhile ago and talked a bit about how she could relate with Dakota...people cheered for her too when she first rolled over!! She too was cheering for Dakota! I checked out her blog strokes for dummies and fell in love with this woman and ALL that she has overcome. It intrigued me that there was someone with whom I could ask questions to about some of the things Dakota might be feeling or experiencing that she in some way knows. Although their situations are different she has gone through pieces of what Dakota has experienced so a little while ago I asked her a lot of questions...to help me better understand how Dakota feels and help me be a better mom to him. Things like how does it feel to be suctioned out of the trach??? The doctors and nurses can tell me how to do it and what it is doing but not what it might feel like to him...they have never experienced it! She has been SO kind and willing to share anything and everything to me and it has been such a neat opportunity chat with her. She answered my questions with blog posts...2 separate ones cuz I continue to think of more and more. Check them out answers and dear tessie. She is someone most definitely worth following!!

THANK YOU JODI...YOU ARE MY HERO!!! (and Dakota's too)