Sunday, October 30, 2011

Good Times

Well, like always I am way behind in life and so much to catch up on. Luckily, we have actually been busy doing some fun things which have created some awesome memories.

The first one was TAYLOR SWIFT concert on September 28!! Call me a teeny bopper or whatever you may but I just adore this girl. She is SO talented, a great singer, and just a good person (I know since we are best friends and all...;) and she did date my second crush (Zach is my first of course)...Jacob as we all know him from Twilight, so she has good taste in men too! :)
Zach surprised me with tickets because I tell him every time she time we need to go. The best part about it is how he surprised me....We were saying our nightly prayers before bed together and it was his turn. In the middle of his prayer he says, "We thank thee that we can go to Taylor Swift concert." Some may think that that is irreverent or whatever but it was too cute and funny! So Zach for ya!
We had such a fun time together and it was Zach's very first concert EVER!!! Crazy I know! As we were walking up and there were all these girls everywhere Zach said..."you probably should have brought a friend...I feel out of place." But I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there but my BFF of course! He had a great time though and she was AMAZING!! I would totally recommend it and would definitely go again.
This is the closest we could get to her...Not sure why she didn't invite me back stage since we are such great friends...she must have forgot I guess. :)

We watched the screen a lot of the night since are noses were bleeding up at the top but it was still ALL good.

Can you see her way down there tearing it up?!

She came a little closer halfway into the show and sang several songs with just her guitar on this circling tree thing. She sounded so good!

The end she flew around on this little balcony thing.

Besides being a Taylor Swift fan...I am now an official hunter!!! I still can't quite figure out how it all went down but within a month I took my hunter safety class, started practicing my killer shot ;), and went on my first hunts. Zach has always been way into hunting and that has definitely been one of the things he misses most since he lost his sight. Every year, mostly around pheasant season because that was his most favorite hunt, he gets a little down. His cute friend Jake still always invites him to go but it just isn't the same. I think he would pay any money in the world just to see for one day during pheasant season and just go at it. I still am hoping one day he will have the chance again! Anyways, he talked me into hunting "for him" this year and I was up to the challenge. I've shot clay pigeons and rabbits before but that is all I have ever done. I was excited but I think Zach was even more excited about it all. It made my day to see him light up as we were getting ready for it all and talking about it.

So, we got a tag for muzzle loader deer hunt. Jake's brother Josh was nice enough to let us borrow his gun and Jake took us out to practice a couple of times. Jake also invited us to go out on his boat opening day for duck hunt. Zach explained to me that this is a very big deal since opening day is supposed to be the best day out there, so of course I had to say yes! ;) (I even turned out a girls trip to St. George for it...true hunter dedication there right?!)
Like every good hunter ;)...we had to go scout out some spots before the hunt. So we took our ranger out a couple of nights and Zach and Jake went out a couple nights and drove around.

We practiced up...
Zach teaching me how to load the gun

Jake telling me to shoot at some birds

Dakota's girlfriend Hadlee hung out with Dakota while we shot

Zach trying to shoot at a plastic bottle

My first day of deer hunting I realized what I was in for real quick. Zach, Jake, Travis and I went out one evening and we hiked up some steep ole mountains and saw nothing!! As I was wanting to die hiking up the mountain I just thought it will all be worth it when Zach and Travis push a huge buck out to me...I'll be ready. All that came out of the bushes was Zach and Travis...I was like, what the heck! So we hiked some more and Jake and I waited and waited and waited and all that came out again was Zach and Jake. I did see a deer for a split second down below us that was in some thick trees so I guess that counts. I came to realize real quick that this isn't as easy as target practice. I was ready to shoot at something but I guess you learn patience as a hunter.
My first day

The boys...don't mind Jake's hand!

You probable cant' see us with all that camo but we are right in the middle. ;) The best part about it was the fall leaves were coming on and it was beautiful up there! It made the hiking more worth it when you got to the top and was able to check out the gorgeous views.

We had some good fires which were much needed since it was pretty cold in the mornings and nights. Jake getting the courage up to throw some gas on our weak fire.

Great action shot running away! :)

Of course we had to make smores...the best part about camping is the food of course!

Jake and I coming down the deer!

The boys

We went to lunch one day since the deer aren't out much during the day to Zach's most favorite spot ever...Carlos and Harley's in Eden. He would seriously eat there every day if he could!

Jake let me shoot his handgun and I sucked at it.

We had to do a little spousal swap in the ole ranger so Jake and I could be up front and get out quick if the opportunity arose. It wasn't so bad! ;)
Heidi and Zach

Jake and I

Roasted hot dogs of course

Not exactly sure what Zach is doing in this pic Heidi took but the leaves are sweet and that guy isn't too bad looking himself!

So I know you are dying to know how big of a buck I got on this hunt..............
but I didn't get one. ;( We only saw some bucks 2 times during our campout and both times we never got close enough to get a good shot off since you have to be pretty close with the muzzle loader. We got close enough to where I got the excited and nervous feelings of a hunter and even got my gun up and pointed while Jake tried to look through the binoculars to tell me which one was a buck but I never even got to shoot the dang gun so that was a little disappointing. It would have been nice to at least shoot at them to say I tried but I didn't even get to do that. Overall, it was still way fun even though the last day was pouring rain on us. There are always some good laughs with Jake and Heidi and maybe next time I will have better luck!
Scoping them out right before they decided to take off and we get poured on.

Jake did shoot a couple of grouse at least so we had some success!

Opening day for duck hunt was quite the experience as well. I realized I don't quite have the dedication of a true hunter that morning when my alarm went off at 2 a.m. and I wanted to stay in bed instead of go out in the freezing cold with a bunch of boys. We got out on the water about 4 a.m. and got our spot. We then waited and waited while the mosquitoes tore us up until 7:30 rolled around so we could start shooting. This time I at least shot several times but I didn't even hit one. ;( It wasn't as easy as clay pigeon practice but the boys were always there backing me up. Overall we took home like 7 or 8 I think. It wasn't as good of opening day as it usually is because the weather was still pretty warm so that is my excuse why I didn't get one. It didn't get as many chances as I should have. ;) It was fun though...I definitely need some more practice!
Jake trying to explain to me what a duck looks like and how I shoot it. ;)

Zach and I snuggled up

Jake, Zach, and I ready at all times.

Me and my cute hubby

Cheddar, Jake, Zach and I all finished up and ready for a nap!

Hunting is would have just been more fun if I was better and would have gotten something. The boys tried to make me feel better though and tell me on their first times they weren't good either and that it takes more experience. I hope they are right! ;)

We celebrated Zach's birthday on the 19th! He finally caught up to his old lady and turned the big 27! My cute friend that helps me with Dakota's therapy saw my birthday message to Zach on my chalk board and she said, "wow he's only 27! You guys are young!" I'm like I know, but with all of our life experience we should be turning bout 100 right now. At least it feels like it!
We celebrated with his family the Sunday before. His grandparents took us to dinner the day before. We didn't do a whole lot the day of cuz I surprised him on the weekend and took him to Park City for a night while his awesome sister Jenny watched Dakota. It was just a quick trip but we had such a good time just getting out of the routine of life and doing something different for a change. Zach's favorite part of it all was the massages we got the next morning...I didn't mind it too bad either. ;) I am such a lame wife though and didn't get any pictures but the memories are in our head. :)
The best present he got for his birthday though was a brand new niece. His sister Ashley had their baby girl Maelee Marie Hadley on his birthday. We are so excited to have her in our family and of course she is such a little doll.
I'm not gonna lie...I went through a stage for awhile where it was hard to hear that our friends, family and those around me were pregnant. Mostly just because of the selfish fact that that is where I thought that we would be at at this point in our lives and instead we are in a completely different world that I never could have imagined us being in. Before Dakota's accident I would have definitely wanted to have another baby by now or at least be pregnant but with how our life is right now it is not possible for us at this point. So even though I was SO happy for Ashley and Beau, it was hard at the same time. But I don't know exactly what happened that has changed me. I'm sure it is divine help from above but I have come to accept the fact that it is OKAY! I have accepted that when the time is right for us to allow our family to grow then we will know and it will be right for us. I don't know why there is this unspoken feeling that everything has to happen on a certain timeline or else. You have to get married by a certain age, have kids by a certain age, have them only this far apart, have this many kids, etc. I have come to understand that their is no right way of doing any of this and that all that matters is what is right for you and your family and the Lord will help you know and understand this. I am at peace with where our family is right now and when the time comes for a change I know it will be the right time for us. So with COMPLETELY happy hearts we welcome our sweet Mealee with hugs and kisses...sorry Ashley and Beau we have a lot of them stored up for her! :)
Maelee and Dakota

He also got to chill with Houston while we were there

Dakota just randomly got his arm up on Houstons head. It was pretty funny.

We also got to take Dakota to Punkinaze in Roy. I had been wanting to take him there since he loved that bouncy slide so I was thinking he would love the big slide there too. We invited Ashley, Beau, and Houston too. When we got to the front to pay the people that own it let us in free. They were related to some of our friends and read our blog. It was too sweet. They were so happy to see Dakota and were so cute to him.
We ended up staying a lot longer then we planned mostly because Houston was having a ball. Dakota liked it but I didn't get the same smile I did from him down the other slide.
The sun was in our eyes at first so Dakota didn't love that.

We made it!

Dakota and Houston played in the corn pit and found some treats!

It was a fun outing as a fam!

Dakota is still loving school. As we were driving to school the other day I turned down the street and said, "I see your school Dakota! We are almost there and you get to see your friends!" I turned back and he just had this huge smile and did his little laugh." It was too cute. He has the cutest nurse that has sent me pictures of him on my phone during school.
This is what he has been doing when I'm not around....
Holding other girls hands!!!! I can't believe it. The nurse says the girls just love to hug, kiss and hold his hand and now I believe it.

These 2 cute girls were helping him decide which color of hat he wanted.

He even started riding the bus home last week and they said he just looked out the window.
Getting off the bus. I am a dork and had my video camera out for the big bus moment. I was filming the front door of the bus and then as I watched the driver open up the back for the wheelchair lift I realized... duh, he can't come out the front. Just one of those moments when you realize it's not how you pictured his first bus ride to look like but oh well. He was still so dang cute getting off the bus.

Dad was there to welcome him home too and that is his cute nurse Robin that we love!!!

Get better and I'll let you call ALL your girlfriends as much as you want!!

Funny/Sweet Moments:
1. We like to give him little tastes of things we eat and he LOVES it! He just watches you eat and stares at whatever you have. Zach decided to give him a taste of his jerky and he just kinda bit down on it and it just sat there.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Quick Update

Dakota's surgery went well. They just removed a little bit of scar tissue in his airway from the trach but everything else looks good. The doctor said he still has too much secretions that are getting into his lungs (which is why we have to suction him) so it is a no go to get the trach out before winter. We will see how he progresses over the winter and then if he is doing better with handling his own secretions we could look at early spring. So we will hope and pray for that! I was a little dissapointed but decided there is one huge benefit for keeping it in so it is ok with me, and that is getting to have a nurse go to school with him. The trach is the only reason he gets a nurse at school. Not only does that give me peace of mind but even better it allows him to have one on one at school and be completely involved with the kids and the classroom. There are 3 teachers in the class but twelve as much as the teachers would love to give him all the time and attention that he needs to be involved, it is impossible for them and I completely understand that. With the nurse their she is able to keep him moving constantly from place to place and interacting with all that is going on. So...all in all, as much as I wanted to get the trach, out I am okay with keeping it in a LITTLE longer.

We are completely done at the chamber as of a few weeks ago. Although I miss all of the wonderful people there I am REALLY enjoying just being home and not HAVING to go somewhere if I don't want to. Dakota is getting long great naps now which allows me a little time to get things done and makes him a happier boy too.

Dakota is still doing great at school. Yesterday I was carrying him into class and I looked down and he had this cute little grin. I was like...are you excited to be here?! Then these 2 cute little girls go, "Dakota is here!" (we are always the last ones there since he doesn't ride the bus) and that little grin just stayed. My heart just melted and I smiled the whole way home. That same day a girl made him a picture.
His first love note. :)

The nurse also said a boy that LOVES Buzz in the class and knows Dakota loves him too walked over and handed the Buzz to Dakota. She also said that the kids like to hold his hand. It makes me so happy that he has such sweet friends who love him and give him a chance even though he can't do everything that they can do. Thank you to all of you parents out there who are teaching your kids to love others and most of all being an example of it!!!
Dakota also painted his first picture at school the other day. The nurse supported his elbow to keep his arm up with the paint brush in his hand and she said he worked so hard to get the brush to the paper. It was so fun to get to have him bring a picture home. So all of you parents out there don't take those millions of pictures that your kids make for you for granted. What I would give to have Dakota use ALL the paper in the house to make pictures and even make a huge mess doing it! But I will take this one painting for now and I will cherish it forever!
His First Painting...what an artist!
Therapies are going great with him. Over the last couple of weeks he has taken it up a notch. He is pushing like a maniac down the slide now stronger then he has ever pushed before. We have to help him get his arms and legs into position but he is doing all of the work pushing his way down. His IPAD has been a great motivator for him to get down there and turn a page in his Toy Story book or start one of his favorite songs. They gave us a new exercise that makes him sit a little below parallel and then push up to stand for 3 minutes straight. One person holds his feet down and I help support his body to stand. When we first started about a month ago I was doing all the work and my back would be killing by the end. He was like a little noodle and would not help much at all to stand. Now he is seriously pushing up almost completely by himself with me just supporting his body in the direction it needs to go. I'll say 1, 2, 3 stand and he will just start. Sometimes he will just shoot up right when we help him sit back down. It has been pretty amazing seeing him get so much stronger at it in just a short amount of time. He definitely is not stable or balanced without our support but he is getting stronger and really trying. It helps to have Buzz on in the background. :)

Grandma Goodman loves you too! Happy Birthday Grandma...sending our love all the way from Utah!

Funny/Sweet Moments: (So I used to write these at the end of blogs before Dakota's accident to help me remember all of the random things that make Dakota so dang cute and fun so that I would always have them to remember. Since his accident of course a lot has changed and they don't just flow out of his mouth like they used to. I went back and read some of them the other day and honestly couldn't believe that he used to be able to say and do all of that. I sure miss all of those things and not that I have forgotten what he used to be like but over time I have gotten more used to the way things are now and so in a way things begin to slip. Memories still flood my mind every day of things that I miss but some of the specifics like these moments I forget so I am glad that they are written down. Anyways I had a sweet and funny moment with Dakota the other night so I thought I would try and start doing it again. So here it goes.)

1. I was singing to him as I always do, holding him right before I put him down to bed and he just looked up at me with those gorgeous eyes and gave me the most biggest and handsomest smile ever with a little coo. It made me laugh as I was singing. Then he did it again, and again, and again. It was like he was trying to tease and play to get out of going to bed. Then I laid him down and usually he is asleep within twenty minutes. Well, I walked out and just hear him babbling away in the monitor for 20, then 30, then 40 minutes. We had already had a late start for bed time and it was about 10:45 and he had school the next morning so I thought...I better give him a dose of Melatonin (you all should try that :). So I walk in his room and start giving him his medicine and he looks right at me with another cheeser and then does a little giggle. Not once, not twice, but like three times. It was hilarious! He definitely had his cute sense of humor back for a bit and I couldn't wipe the smile of my face!
Since then there have been a couple of other times when I have put him down for a nap or bed and he just gives me that gorgeous smile of his as I sing...and I know it's not because I'm a good singer! :) (maybe he is laughing at me!)

2. (This one is about Zach...dont tell him I wrote it but I want to remember it.)
So the other night him and I were talking about the upcoming holidays...mostly Thanksgiving and Christmas and how we aren't really looking forward to them. Now normally this is my most favorite time of year but since Dakota's accident...1. It brings back bad memories and a lot of heartache and 2. It just isn't quite the same since he can't really enjoy it like he used to. Just thinking about what to get him for Christmas does me in. Anyways, as I got into bed a little later that night he said..."you know I was just thinking how grateful I am for you though and how at least I get to celebrate them with you." Isn't he the sweetest thing. It totally lifted my spirits and made me look at my blessings instead of what I am missing. So lucky to have such an amazing husband!

Last thing to share. Got this AMAZING quote off of an amazing woman's blog ( and had to share it cuz I love it and needed it!
"Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Missed you!

We just got back from a very short trip to AZ. My sister Shana's family had some very special events going on that we did not want to miss. Her 8 year old Evan got baptized and they also got sealed to their new precious baby girl Avery who they adopted about 6 months ago from "angel Brooke" as we call her. It was SO fun to be there (it has been the longest I have ever been away from AZ) and it was a very special memory that I will forever hold on to.
Thanks for letting us be a part of it all beautiful Post family!

As we were driving home from the airport I was so excited to see Dakota. We didn't take him because it was so short (flew in Friday and flew out Sunday) and it would have been too hard to bring all his stuff for such a short amount of time and trying to find someone capable of watching him while we were in the temple and all. Huge thank you to Doug and Vicki and Aunt Jenny for taking care of him while we were gone. As I held him in my arms and told him all about the trip and what we did with nana and papa, aunts and uncles, and of course his sweet cousins and I couldn't hold back the tears. I wanted so badly for him to be there with his healthy body again. The whole trip I kept thinking...Dakota would have LOVED this! When all of his cousins got up to sing at the baptism my heart hurt to not get to see Dakota up there singing I am a Child of God with all of his cousins. Watching the excitement in sweet Evan getting baptized I couldn't help but think...Will I ever get to see my little boy do this?! As I watched all of the things that sweet Avery could do at 6 months I realized how far Dakota still has to go. I had the opportunity to watch my sweet nephew Peyton at his soccer game and all I could think about was this is what I wished I could be doing as a mom someday...but will it ever happen?! I savored every moment with my nieces and nephews...Zach and I even took the oldest ones out one night to tee pee Uncle Riley and Aunt Annie's house for their first time.
The pics turned out a little blurry but still great memories...
Writing them messages

1 message ;)

 Writing messages with toilet paper going on behind us
Zach showing the how it is done!
Our best work ever!
Took Trai with me and by best friend Abbey to the nail salon to get pedicures (she got her fingernails done) and the best lunch ever at Oregano's for Abbey's birthday! excited
Just relaxin with 2 great girls!

 Took Evan and Lane with us to Sam's to do an errand for my mom and eat some Icee's with them.
One because I LOVE them dearly and miss that I don't get to see them as often as I would like...and two because I miss the excitement, liveliness, pure joy, and funny things that children bring to your life. I miss a lot about Dakota that I want back so much. I still love him to pieces and he still brings a lot of joy to my life but there is still an emptiness in this house that I don't know if it will ever be fully filled.

Don't get me wrong...I LOVED our short trip...every minute of it but there was just something missing in it...Dakota! Every time Zach and I even brought him up we would have to stop because it hurt so bad to know how much he would have loved it and how much we missed it. Nana and Papa's was one of his most favorite places to be and of course with all of his cousins!!!
Here are just a few of his favorite things...
Best place ever to go swimming...first time swimming at Aunt katie's pool

 LOVED Nana and Papa's tricycle...even though he couldn't reach the peddles
 LOVED driving Papa's tractor
 Visiting Papa and Grandma Goodman in St. David
 Parties with cousins...although he is not too happy in this pic. ;)
 The horses of course!
 The chickens
 All of his sweet cousins that LOVE him so much!
 More tractor ;)
 more chickens
 more tractor
 Reading stories with his yummy blanket in one of his most favorite people's laps!
 more horses
 his NANA
 riding in the wagon
 Paige and Shea who claim to have taught him how to walk. :)
 Any type of driving
 Sharing anything and everything with his cousins...even chapstick.
 twinners with Andrew and Evan
and of course...More tractor

We are taking him in tomorrow to get the surgery to see if there is any scar tissue in his airway and that is killing me too. Now that he is so much more aware the last thing I want to do to him is take him back to Primary Children's and make him go through that. It's not that intense of a surgery but it's not fair that he has to go through so much...that any kid that suffers with health issues has to do any of it. But this is our life I guess and we will keep hangin in the best we can.