Christmas/AZ Trip

I LOVED having the Christmas feel in my home! I wasn't sure if we should put up the tree since we would be gone for Christmas but so glad we did! It was a fun change and feel in the house!

So I know this is a little late...it's already been a month since Christmas but as I ALWAYS say...better late then never! Although my Christmas night post was a little depressing...we really did have a GREAT Christmas. My favorite part about the holidays is all the time spent with friends and family. There is always somewhere to be and people to see...and not just anybody, AMAZING people that we love so much!

We kicked off our Christmas holiday with Jake and Heidi's annual ugly sweater party which is always a great time filled with lots of laughs. You gotta love these parties cuz you come looking ugly and you still feel great! ;) We always do a white elephant exchange and I can't share all the presents that are brought cuz they are not always g-rated but it is funny. Zach and I had 4 white elephant parties this year and we really put a lot of thought into this. We get pretty creative together and by far had the craziest present this year...a nasty white mouse...yes it was real and quite disgusting. We had to do it at 3 parties cuz it was so good. 2 were back to back so we used the same mouse...the person that got it didn't want it...don't know why! ;) Obviously we had to get a new one in AZ for the family party. The best was at Jake and Heidi's cuz it got a little crazy. We had cut slits in a clear Tupperware to put it in. The lid was pretty bendy though so we wondered if it could get out but took the chance. We wrapped newspaper around the Tupperware. Luckily, everyone left their presents outside on the porch so that no one knew who brought which present. Right before we were about to start Zach went out to check on the mouse. He came back in and told me he didn't think it was there. So I went out and shook it a little and it felt pretty empty. I carefully undid the paper afraid it was gonna jump on me or something and it was GONE! We were like oh crap now what?! I look down at the presents and there it is...just sitting on top of somebody else's present. I'm not sure what they do to those things at the pet stores but they seriously just sit there and let you grab them. Both Zach and I were too grossed out to touch it so we came in and got Travis to put it back in. By this point we were laughing so hard and everybody knew something was up. Zach taped up the holes and it was all good until our present started moving. Then everybody knew for sure it was something alive. Julissa was the brave one though and she still picked it. I still don't know why she didn't want it though! The next couple parties we made sure it was more secure!

Thanks for the fun...our friends are the greatest! Never a dull moment!

Don't we look hot!

The next night we had a Christmas pajama party with Zach's mom's side of the family. There is ALWAYS great food with them and of course great company too! ;) We did another white elephant exchange and poor aunt Becky got the mouse. It freaked her out she dropped it right back in the bag. I got some sexy lingerie that Zach made me put on right away! ;) We played some fun games and just had a great time!

Becky's awesome reaction...mouse dropped back in bag. (in the Tupperware of course)

Yeah baby

Anyone wanna borrow these babies?!

Zach's cousin Brock and I tearing it up! (There is a cutie orange between us that we are trying to drop in the basket without letting it drop.)

Zach and his cousin Holly were partners.

Our team lost...not happy about it!

Dakota snuggling with Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Ryan

Our little fam

Before we left to AZ we had a little party with Zach's immediate family since we would be in AZ Christmas day. Zach's parents spoiled Dakota rotten. They gave him more presents then his parents and Santa combined. ;) They are so cute to him and love him so much!

Dakota and Poppy...check out his sweet new jammies!

He liked his little doggy stocking that grammy and poppy had for him

Got a cool Santa light toy

Just being cute and I ALWAYS love that smile!!

Got this SUPER soft pillow/blanket that is the cutest cow. LOVED it!

Just chillin

Gettin some attention from Uncle Ry and Dad. Never lacks attention when we are at the Friedli household! He is lucky to be so loved by so many!

Practicing his standing with Poppy. I can't believe how tall he is getting.

Snuggling with Aunt Jenny! (Who we found out is pregnant with her first!! Couldn't be more excited for her. She is an amazing aunt so I know she will be an even more amazing mommy!)

Checking out his rad Buzz, Woody, and Jessie bubble bath that he loves to knock off the ledge in the bath tub with daddy cheering him on.

New book!

We left for AZ 2 days before Christmas. My cute dad drove up with my brother in law Riley(he was coming up to get some hay) just to help us drive down. Since Zach obviously can't drive I appreciated it SO much! 13 hours driving by yourself is pretty rough and since this was our first real road trip with Dakota since the accident I was a little nervous to see how it would go. He did so great though and I actually really enjoyed it. My dad hardly let me drive at all so I got to take a nap and read. I never get to be the passenger anymore so the 13 hour drive was actually really relaxing for me...even on the way back.

Zach and Dakota playing on the IPAD. Look at how packed our car is! We seriously packed it to the max. Luckily Zach is a GREAT packer...seriously he has skills. Even my dad said..."A blind man can pack way better then he could." ;)

Christmas morning was pretty chill. Since all my siblings besides my brother have a few kids they all did their own thing with their kids so it was pretty laid back with my parents, brother, and his wife Heather. Santa still found us in AZ and so we opened our stockings and then went to church. Most people with kids probably had a hard time with church on Christmas day...trying to pry their kids away from presents to go sit still at church...I really enjoyed it. It was fun to go and focus on our Saviour and the whole reason we celebrate this day. It forced you to really think about Christ, his life, his love, his sacrifice, his example on this special day.

Late afternoon is when everyone showed up for dinner, kids present exchange, and adult white elephant exchange. My sister Dawn's sweet mother in law came with her and I felt so bad because she got the mouse. She had a great reaction but she is way too sweet of a person to get it. Our other present was freaking hilarious. 2 years ago when we put my mom's 60th surprise birthday party together, my oldest sister Shana had brought a box of frames from her house to put some of my mom's pics in. As we were going through them I found this picture just hanging out in the box of her husband. It was taken when they were first married, he was standing in some hotel with room service on the table, no shirt on and jeans, holding a fork with a piece of steak on it. So this picture is probably 13-14 years old...so he has changed a little bit...still a sexy guy just a little older now. ;) Anyways, I blew it up poster size and had written at the bottom...hungry for your love. His face was priceless and no one could stop laughing! It was great. He was a great sport about it which is why I love him! I'm a little nervous for the next one though in case he wants to get me back for that! It was fair game though and you gotta give me some props for hanging on to the picture for 2 whole years just for that! (I won't embarrass him by posting it on my blog for everyone to see...just know...it was GOOD!)

Checking out what Santa brought him

Daddy helped him open it. Of course Santa knew he loves to watch movies.

Got a new light up toothbrush and Buzz & Woody toothpaste

Nana & Papa got him a puppet.

Snuggling with Daddy

Our little family Christmas day

Nana & Papa also got all the kids books so we were checkin it out. Wheels on the Bus

The rest of our trip was such a blast. Dakota and I stayed til the 2nd but Zach flew home on the 27th. The weather was AMAZING!!! So, Dakota got to ride the horses, ride the tractor, go for walks, go to the zoo with cousins, and just hang out outside. We had to soak it up while we could. I had a blast with my sisters, as always! Makes me miss and appreciate them at the same time! Each one of them is different and amazing in their own way and add so much to my life. It was fun to spend that much time at my parents. I spent New Years Eve just with them. I even got them to stay up past midnight which is not like them at all! We watched The Help together and my dad even busted out some sparkling cider at midnight. They are the best ever and I loved every minute of our time together! It was fun having my brother Ty and Heather stay at my parents with us. Me and my brother are only 15 months apart so we spent our whole childhood around each other...whether we liked it or not. I like him better now then when we are little ;)... although he still tries to pick on me. ;) He is great and his wife is so fun and perfect for him!

All the cousins loved Dakota's IPAD and he was a good cousin to share. Playing with Andrew.

Reading stories with Nana and cousin Evan before bed.

Helping Nana & Papa pick up the hay bails on the tractor. I'm sure it was harder with him trying to drive but they were so sweet to take him with.

We went to the most awesomest Zoo. You were able to get SO close to the animals and they were all up and moving for the most part. I loved it because we were close enough where Dakota could really see them pretty good. And of course the weather was perfect which made it even better. Gotta love AZ in the winter!

On our way! They were all hooked to the movie so I had to take their pic. Too funny!

This turtle was humongous!

Dakota loved these fish. He was totally smiling and laughing at them. I know this is a horrible pic (most ones that I take are) but it was a sweet moment!

Evan, Aunt Dawn, Lane, Trai, Aunt Annie, Sutton, and Peyton touching the Sting Rays. They were brave! I was too chicken!

Look at all of them!

Noah & Aunt Katie

Paige, Logan, & Shea...also very brave!

Kota and Mommy...with sharks above our head!

Who doesn't love the monkeys!?

Andrew snuggling in with Avery.

Checkin out the monkeys

Horrible pic...but ALL the cousins together! It's hard to get them all in there. Check out the alligator behind them.

Tiger...so close

This jaguar was right above your head. I could seriously reach up and touch the fence it was that close!

Trai, Dakota and me. The little lion cubs are right behind us...close!

One of my most favorite things that we got to do was to make the 6 hour round trip drive down to St. David to see my grandpa. My grandma still drives around a lot so we got to see her at my parents but my grandpa never leaves town, so if we wanted to see him we had to make a point of it. It was SO good to see him. He is still so witty and funny he still makes me laugh. He has such a sincere love for all of his family and it did my heart good to get to hug and kiss him, hold his hand, and talk with him. Even though he and my grandma have not been around Dakota much since we live so far away, they still love him so much, always ask about him, and pray for him every day. They are both so great and my life is so blessed to have them both in it!

I love how Dakota is looking at him in the picture

We also faced our fears and went down to the Maricopa County Hospital where we spent our 3 long weeks before being shipped to Primary Children's. I was hoping to be able to see some of the doctors that we loved but they weren't there. We got to see one of our favorite nurses and a couple others that we had for a little bit. It was such a great hospital, with great staff and doctors that made that horrible time as best as it could possibly be for us. It was definitely a weird feeling walking down those halls again and my heart ached for the children and families that were in there. The best part about it was I found out about the little 3 year old girl named Fernanda that was next to Dakota's room days before we left to Utah. She had a horrible strain of Meningitis that almost took her life. I asked them how things turned out for her and her family. Unfortunately, she lost both of her legs from it but besides that she is doing great. That still sounds horrible but Meningitis could cause a lot worse things so I was so happy to hear mentally she is doing great. She just got some prosthetic legs and is starting to learn to walk with them. So happy to hear!!! Thank you for all that prayed for her.

Even though we were there for 10 days the time flew by so quickly! When it came time to leave it was like panic trying to get things in before it was too late. I could have stayed a lot longer if Zach wasn't home waiting for us. We missed him too! Lucky for me, my sister Annie was so sweet and drove back with me. I got to keep her for 5 days and we did a lot of fun work to the house. I have a brand new room (pics to come) that I LOVE and we had so much fun doing it together. If she didn't have 3 kids and a husband waiting at home for her I could have stolen her and kept her here forever. When she left then it was back to reality for me. It was so fun and I'm already counting the days to go back at the end of February to run Ragnar with my sisters.

Jesus Wants ME for a Sunbeam

My little baby became on official sunbeam in primary today! (It was the first time we have been to our home ward this month) No longer a little tyke in Nursery...a big boy in Primary! Quite awhile ago they assigned my sweet dear friend Andrea (Sister Fife to Dakota) to be his very own teacher. To be devoted to helping him enjoy church with all the kids so that Zach and I could attend classes. They couldn't have picked a more perfect person. She was Dakota's nursery teacher before the accident and my visiting teaching companion for a few years. Dakota loved her so much and she has loved him so dearly and sincerely that it touches my heart deeply. Zach is such a worry wart with Dakota but even he gave his ok to trust Andrea to be his teacher and to leave Dakota for a couple of hours. (of course he made sure I went over every detail and scenario possible SEVERAL times...he is a cute dad who loves his boy ;) ) He has 2 great teachers too who I know will take great care to include him in all they do!

I wasn't sure how he would like the whole sharing time and class time. It is definitely an adjustment from nursery where he could watch the kids play with toys and be entertained. But they said he did so well and laughed during singing time when Andrea sang off tune or the wrong words. :) When I walked in to pick him up from class he all the sudden just started laughing hysterically. I love his sweet laugh and it lasted for SO long I couldn't believe it. When he laughs so hard he has a hard time breathing in so he would let out a couple big laughs...gasp for breath...make a more  serious look til he gets a good breath and start again. I swear he kept going almost longer then I had ever seen him before and I just LOVED it. My heart is happy today and I am SO grateful to not just be a mom but to be HIS mom!!!

THANKS FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME DAKOTA AND FOR CONTINUALLY TEACHING ME WHAT MATTERS MOST!!!

Keep it up buddy and I'll give you all the Pez candy you want...you don't even have to use the big boy potty!

P.S. My sweet cousin just sent me an email with a link to this amazing mother and her blog. She just lost her little 2 year old after a long and hard fight of EB (which I had never heard of before til now). Check it out and keep her in your prayers please! It will definitely make you count your blessings and especially the health of your children. Every day I am in awe and amazement at how many children are born healthy and strong when there is SO much out there that can go wrong. When Dakota was in Primary Children's with his heart defect when he was born, we saw and met so many babies and families that were there for unimaginable and indescribable things. Childbirth is truly a miracle. Never take the health of your children and families for granted!

http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/

KINDNESS

Kindness is something I have thought a lot about lately. It is something that we have been shown in abundance by SO many people...ones we know and ones we don't in every way imaginable through the trials we have faced. I can honestly say it is one of the main things that have got us through. The sincere love, care, support, service, prayers, faith, and kindness of so many have given us the strength, courage, and determination to keep going when all we wanted to do was give up.

My AMAZING sister Annie just got put in, at the ripe ole age of 30, to be relief society president in her ward at church. We were down in AZ for Christmas when she got put in in her ward. (a little behind in my blogging about Christmas and are fun trip). Anyways, on top of having to speak in church she had to teach the lesson in relief society which was a lot on her shoulders. So semi-jokingly she told me...you should teach it for me. I laughed because that was not gonna happen and she said...serious. I was like why, what is it even about?! She said I don't know but I'm sure you have something that can relate with it. (She thinks I am so knowledgeable since I have been through the ringer quite a bit, but in reality I am still trying to figure it all out and don't really have the answers or knowledge to help anybody. ;) ) So Sunday morning as we are getting ready to go to church (hers was at 8 a.m. on New Years Day...ouch!) she sends me this text saying...hope you can swing it to come to my relief society lesson...and be prepared to share. I was like SERIOUSLY?! I texted back...I will be there but not to share! (I know I'm a great sister!) She texted me back...just think about how the kindness of others has brought you closer to Christ...hope that helps.

So long story short the rest of the morning I thought about that. I thought to myself...oh that's an easy one because if anyone has been shown kindness that is us. My mind started rolling about the MILLIONS of acts of kindness that we have been shown. But I had never really thought about how those acts of kindness have brought me closer to Christ. I knew that they had...but why? What was it about those acts that brought me closer to my Savior. As I thought of the acts of kindness towards us 2 major things stuck out to me. 1. So many of the acts of kindness have brought me closer to Christ because they have shown me through these wonderful people that my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ are aware of me...they DO love me...and they are sending these most wonderful people to comfort me and strengthen me physically because they can't physically do it themselves. So many people have been there for me at the right time, the right moment, with just what I needed...not by coincidence but because they were sent to me from my Heavenly Father to help me get through. And because of this I have come to know how much my Savior loves and cares about ME!

2. The acts of kindness and sincere compassion of several people have given me some of the most perfect and amazing example of my Savior. Through their actions I have learned how to be more like the Savior. I have learned what kinds of things the Savior would do if He were here and the love that our Savior has for all mankind. Complete strangers and dear family members and friends have shed tears in our behalf. I have been amazed at how Dakota's accident has affected some so deeply when they don't have to deal with what we deal with every day. They get to go home to their healthy perfect kids and family and don't really have to or need to worry or care about us. It doesn't affect them personally...but yet they act as if it does. Only the most Christ like of people can feel the pain of others as our Savior would. I hope I don't embarrass Annie for sharing this but I have to because she is the perfect example of this. (and this is the example that I shared with the class) The horrible day of the accident Annie was there with her kids helping set up for my brother Ty and his sweet wife Heather's reception, as were many others. It was her little 1 year old Sutton that was playing near Dakota when it happened and who was standing so close to where Dakota laid when I found him...smiling and playing with no clue what was going on. Annie was the one to drive Zach and I to the hospital where the ambulance was taking Dakota. As I sat there in silence crying and in the most pain I have EVER been in. She spoke these most Christ-like words to me that I don't think most mothers could say..."I know I will sound like a horrible mom...but I wish that this happened to me instead of you." I couldn't believe that she would say those words especially with the amount of pain I was feeling...but she meant it with all her heart and I felt it. She saw the sadness and pain inside of me, and like our Savior wanted so badly to take it from me...that she was willing to sacrifice her son for mine. What more example of kindness can help you come to know your Savior then that?!

Anyways, tonight with tears in her eyes because she was no longer going to be subbing on Dakota's bus...shared with me how much she LOVED my son and how he has touched her life more then anyone ever has. She shared how times when she had given him a stamp on his hand he smiled and she just knew that he understands. You have no idea how much these words touched my heart. One of the things that bothers me the most, is that the people who meet Dakota after his accident have no idea what an amazing and fun little boy he was and is. I fear that when people see him they see a trach, a g-tube, a wheelchair and not HIM. Because when I look at him I don't see that. I don't see him as handicapped or disability...I see a little boy that is AMAZING. And I saw in her eyes and through her words that she saw that too. She saw the perfect angel that I see in him and although kind of a stranger to me, she took the time to come to my home, bring us and Dakota gifts, and share her deep and sincere love and desire to come and help with him. Once again, she is showing me how to be more like Christ.

There are millions of example I can keep sharing and I hope all of you who have helped Zach and I come closer to Christ through your kindness know how much we love and appreciate you...whether we have met you or not. Thank you for loving and caring for us!

I post our Christmas/thank you card to all of you who read this who I don't know and wasn't able to send you one...because whether you have commented or not or just prayed for us you have been our angels and have truly helped us through the most difficult journey of our lives! Thank you and we love you!!!

SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT HIM

"Somebody should have caught him"...are the words that echo in my mind as I end my Christmas day. They are the words spoken by my sweet, humble innocent 5 year old nephew to his mom tonight as he so curiously and lovingly stared at Dakota as I got him ready for bed tonight asking very inquisitive questions. He is the second child to speak those words to me since Dakota's accident. They don't offend me or hurt my feelings in any way because I know they are spoken with only the sincerity, humility, honesty, and love that a child has.

But as I ponder on those words they are what my heart longs for. Why couldn't that fence have fallen on him when an adult was nearby? Why couldn't one of his older cousins have been there to help him or get help instead of his innocent 1 year old cousin who was playing so innocently by him when  I found him?Why couldn't I have checked on him sooner? SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT HIM!" I feel that same way and I don't understand why it had to happen.

This Christmas day and every day for that matter could have been so much different. Tears tonight and sitting in church wouldn't have filled my eyes today if somebody would have caught him. Instead of tears of sadness I could have felt feelings of excitement, anticipation, and pure joy today if somebody just would have caught him. Don't get me wrong it wasn't all a sad day...we had some great fun with my wonderful family but I'm not gonna lie...it was so hard to see all of my nieces and nephews SO excited and talking about everything they got and love. When you have your first baby those first couple Christmas' are not too exciting until they really start to understand. This would have been that year for us...his first Christmas that we got to experience the pure joy and excitement that a child brings into your life but it wasn't, because nobody was there to catch him.

I know everything happens for a reason and that we were given this trial to learn and grow but I still haven't gained that full insight and understanding of it all yet so it is still really hard to bear. Especially going through Zach's vision loss and then this. We were still trying to learn and grow from that trial when this happened so it is all just a huge mess of confusion that we are still trying to wrap our minds around. After Zach's vision loss Dakota was his light in the darkness. He could make Zach laugh and smile on some of his "darkest" days. So as you can imagine this has been so hard to handle for him. When he couldn't see the sweet details of Dakota's face anymore he at least had the sound of his cute voice and laughs so it was as if he could still see his sweet face. To have that taken from him too, is hard to bear.

We are still so grateful for each new day with Dakota but I just wish SOMEBODY COULD HAVE CAUGHT HIM!

Happy Days!!! :)

There has been a huge change over Dakota these last few days that have done both Zach and I's hearts so good. The best way to describe it is to first describe some of the characteristics of Dakota. Unless you are around Dakota a lot you probably wouldn't know or notice these things but first his eye contact with people is very short lived. If we talk to him he will look at us for a second and then look away. It has always really bothered me but it wasn't until recently that Zach and I talked about it. Of course like any child or baby, it is so fun to interact with them and play but it is hard to do if your child won't look at you for longer then a second. The doctor at NACD where we just had a recent evaluation described to me that it is hard for his brain to take it all in and process it at the same time...this is why he looks away. He gave me an example by telling me to look at him and add 60+38+15. I couldn't do it without looking away...it was weird but then it all made sense to me. Even so...I'm his mom so I have been praying lately that he will begin to look at me more and interact and communicate more with me. I NEED it!

Also, you have seen lots of pictures of Dakota smiling but most of them are smiles at his favorite movies and shows. It is REALLY hard to get him to smile at you (something you do or say). Unless it is laying him in his bed, maybe going to school, or one of his really good days...getting him to smile at me or anyone for that matter is rare. As his mom...that is HARD. That is one thing I miss the most. Before the accident I loved just being silly with him and making him smile and laugh. That is what we as parents live for. Those precious moments between you and your kid.

Anyways, all of the sudden over these last few days there has been a VERY noticeable change in Dakota and these behaviors. He has started smiling a lot and not just at shows but at Zach and I. Even today in physical therapy he started smiling and giggling. He has started looking and focusing on us more. And for the first time since Dakota's accident, Zach and I FINALLY had a very happy moment "as a family" together. Dakota was super happy one night and Zach and I were just laying on the ground next to him. We were giving him a little help to roll back and forth to us and he was doing awesome. He started smiling as if he was proud of his accomplishments (which is also a first. He normally doesn't care if he does something good and we cheer and clap for him like most kids do.) He would giggle with us and it felt like we were finally getting to actually play together again. Obviously it isn't the same kind of play that we used to be able to do together...but it was play and it felt SO good. I felt like a real mom again and not just a therapist or a nurse. It felt so good to see us ALL laughing and smiling together again like we used to.

So all of you parents out there...PLEASE don't take those moments to laugh and play together with your kids and as a family together for granted. What I would give to go back in time and just PLAY. I long to have Dakota take the lead in play again and just be his partner in crime...doing whatever, wherever, however messy he wanted. Live in the moment and don't worry about the LONG list of to-do's that we all have. They will still be there tomorrow or the next or the next...but you never know how many moments left you have to just play with your kids. You don't know what tomorrow brings and they grow up so darn fast!

Along with these changes I have noticed his head control getting a lot stronger. Even the physical and swallow therapists both mentioned that today. He is beginning to push on his crawls across the floor and not just on the inclined slide (which is easier). He is standing so much stronger with his sit and stand exercise. And most importantly he just seems to have a little more try and desire behind everything he does. Today at physical therapy I couldn't believe how much he was looking at the toys and REALLY trying to get his arm up and do the pushing. Normally he is more passive and just helps the last little bit and sometimes doesn't even look at what they are wanting him to do. It was so cool.

I just hope and pray that these changes are here to stay and not just a phase. Our lives are a constant roller coaster with highs and lows and everything in between. Things come and go but I pray that this is not only here to stay but to get even better!!!

And I am MOST grateful to a LOVING Heavenly Father who I KNOW has heard my prayers, who knows how much we needed this...even if it doesn't last. I know he heard me.

KEEP SMILING DAKOTA!!! YOU HAVE THE MOST HANDSOME SMILE I HAVE EVER SEEN! (and I'm not just saying that cuz I'm your mom)

Let's make more messes together!!