Quick Update

Dakota's surgery went well. They just removed a little bit of scar tissue in his airway from the trach but everything else looks good. The doctor said he still has too much secretions that are getting into his lungs (which is why we have to suction him) so it is a no go to get the trach out before winter. We will see how he progresses over the winter and then if he is doing better with handling his own secretions we could look at early spring. So we will hope and pray for that! I was a little dissapointed but decided there is one huge benefit for keeping it in so it is ok with me, and that is getting to have a nurse go to school with him. The trach is the only reason he gets a nurse at school. Not only does that give me peace of mind but even better it allows him to have one on one at school and be completely involved with the kids and the classroom. There are 3 teachers in the class but twelve kids...so as much as the teachers would love to give him all the time and attention that he needs to be involved, it is impossible for them and I completely understand that. With the nurse their she is able to keep him moving constantly from place to place and interacting with all that is going on. So...all in all, as much as I wanted to get the trach, out I am okay with keeping it in a LITTLE longer.

We are completely done at the chamber as of a few weeks ago. Although I miss all of the wonderful people there I am REALLY enjoying just being home and not HAVING to go somewhere if I don't want to. Dakota is getting long great naps now which allows me a little time to get things done and makes him a happier boy too.

Dakota is still doing great at school. Yesterday I was carrying him into class and I looked down and he had this cute little grin. I was like...are you excited to be here?! Then these 2 cute little girls go, "Dakota is here!" (we are always the last ones there since he doesn't ride the bus) and that little grin just stayed. My heart just melted and I smiled the whole way home. That same day a girl made him a picture.

His first love note. :)

The nurse also said a boy that LOVES Buzz in the class and knows Dakota loves him too walked over and handed the Buzz to Dakota. She also said that the kids like to hold his hand. It makes me so happy that he has such sweet friends who love him and give him a chance even though he can't do everything that they can do. Thank you to all of you parents out there who are teaching your kids to love others and most of all being an example of it!!!

Dakota also painted his first picture at school the other day. The nurse supported his elbow to keep his arm up with the paint brush in his hand and she said he worked so hard to get the brush to the paper. It was so fun to get to have him bring a picture home. So all of you parents out there don't take those millions of pictures that your kids make for you for granted. What I would give to have Dakota use ALL the paper in the house to make pictures and even make a huge mess doing it! But I will take this one painting for now and I will cherish it forever!

His First Painting...what an artist!

Therapies are going great with him. Over the last couple of weeks he has taken it up a notch. He is pushing like a maniac down the slide now stronger then he has ever pushed before. We have to help him get his arms and legs into position but he is doing all of the work pushing his way down. His IPAD has been a great motivator for him to get down there and turn a page in his Toy Story book or start one of his favorite songs. They gave us a new exercise that makes him sit a little below parallel and then push up to stand for 3 minutes straight. One person holds his feet down and I help support his body to stand. When we first started about a month ago I was doing all the work and my back would be killing by the end. He was like a little noodle and would not help much at all to stand. Now he is seriously pushing up almost completely by himself with me just supporting his body in the direction it needs to go. I'll say 1, 2, 3 stand and he will just start. Sometimes he will just shoot up right when we help him sit back down. It has been pretty amazing seeing him get so much stronger at it in just a short amount of time. He definitely is not stable or balanced without our support but he is getting stronger and really trying. It helps to have Buzz on in the background. :)

WE SURE LOVE YOU BUDDY AND ARE SO PROUD OF THE BIG BOY THAT YOU ARE BECOMING!

Grandma Goodman loves you too! Happy Birthday Grandma...sending our love all the way from Utah!

Funny/Sweet Moments: (So I used to write these at the end of blogs before Dakota's accident to help me remember all of the random things that make Dakota so dang cute and fun so that I would always have them to remember. Since his accident of course a lot has changed and they don't just flow out of his mouth like they used to. I went back and read some of them the other day and honestly couldn't believe that he used to be able to say and do all of that. I sure miss all of those things and not that I have forgotten what he used to be like but over time I have gotten more used to the way things are now and so in a way things begin to slip. Memories still flood my mind every day of things that I miss but some of the specifics like these moments I forget so I am glad that they are written down. Anyways I had a sweet and funny moment with Dakota the other night so I thought I would try and start doing it again. So here it goes.)

1. I was singing to him as I always do, holding him right before I put him down to bed and he just looked up at me with those gorgeous eyes and gave me the most biggest and handsomest smile ever with a little coo. It made me laugh as I was singing. Then he did it again, and again, and again. It was like he was trying to tease and play to get out of going to bed. Then I laid him down and usually he is asleep within twenty minutes. Well, I walked out and just hear him babbling away in the monitor for 20, then 30, then 40 minutes. We had already had a late start for bed time and it was about 10:45 and he had school the next morning so I thought...I better give him a dose of Melatonin (you all should try that :). So I walk in his room and start giving him his medicine and he looks right at me with another cheeser and then does a little giggle. Not once, not twice, but like three times. It was hilarious! He definitely had his cute sense of humor back for a bit and I couldn't wipe the smile of my face!

Since then there have been a couple of other times when I have put him down for a nap or bed and he just gives me that gorgeous smile of his as I sing...and I know it's not because I'm a good singer! :) (maybe he is laughing at me!)

2. (This one is about Zach...dont tell him I wrote it but I want to remember it.)

So the other night him and I were talking about the upcoming holidays...mostly Thanksgiving and Christmas and how we aren't really looking forward to them. Now normally this is my most favorite time of year but since Dakota's accident...1. It brings back bad memories and a lot of heartache and 2. It just isn't quite the same since he can't really enjoy it like he used to. Just thinking about what to get him for Christmas does me in. Anyways, as I got into bed a little later that night he said..."you know I was just thinking how grateful I am for you though and how at least I get to celebrate them with you." Isn't he the sweetest thing. It totally lifted my spirits and made me look at my blessings instead of what I am missing. So lucky to have such an amazing husband!

Last thing to share. Got this AMAZING quote off of an amazing woman's blog (www.blindmom.com) and had to share it cuz I love it and needed it!

"Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”

Missed you!

We just got back from a very short trip to AZ. My sister Shana's family had some very special events going on that we did not want to miss. Her 8 year old Evan got baptized and they also got sealed to their new precious baby girl Avery who they adopted about 6 months ago from "angel Brooke" as we call her. It was SO fun to be there (it has been the longest I have ever been away from AZ) and it was a very special memory that I will forever hold on to.

Thanks for letting us be a part of it all beautiful Post family!

As we were driving home from the airport I was so excited to see Dakota. We didn't take him because it was so short (flew in Friday and flew out Sunday) and it would have been too hard to bring all his stuff for such a short amount of time and trying to find someone capable of watching him while we were in the temple and all. Huge thank you to Doug and Vicki and Aunt Jenny for taking care of him while we were gone. As I held him in my arms and told him all about the trip and what we did with nana and papa, aunts and uncles, and of course his sweet cousins and I couldn't hold back the tears. I wanted so badly for him to be there with his healthy body again. The whole trip I kept thinking...Dakota would have LOVED this! When all of his cousins got up to sing at the baptism my heart hurt to not get to see Dakota up there singing I am a Child of God with all of his cousins. Watching the excitement in sweet Evan getting baptized I couldn't help but think...Will I ever get to see my little boy do this?! As I watched all of the things that sweet Avery could do at 6 months I realized how far Dakota still has to go. I had the opportunity to watch my sweet nephew Peyton at his soccer game and all I could think about was this is what I wished I could be doing as a mom someday...but will it ever happen?! I savored every moment with my nieces and nephews...Zach and I even took the oldest ones out one night to tee pee Uncle Riley and Aunt Annie's house for their first time.
The pics turned out a little blurry but still great memories...

Writing them messages

1 message ;)

 Writing messages with toilet paper going on behind us

Zach showing the how it is done!

Our best work ever!

Took Trai with me and by best friend Abbey to the nail salon to get pedicures (she got her fingernails done) and the best lunch ever at Oregano's for Abbey's birthday!

 Trai...so excited

Just relaxin with 2 great girls!

 Took Evan and Lane with us to Sam's to do an errand for my mom and eat some Icee's with them.

One because I LOVE them dearly and miss that I don't get to see them as often as I would like...and two because I miss the excitement, liveliness, pure joy, and funny things that children bring to your life. I miss a lot about Dakota that I want back so much. I still love him to pieces and he still brings a lot of joy to my life but there is still an emptiness in this house that I don't know if it will ever be fully filled.

Don't get me wrong...I LOVED our short trip...every minute of it but there was just something missing in it...Dakota! Every time Zach and I even brought him up we would have to stop because it hurt so bad to know how much he would have loved it and how much we missed it. Nana and Papa's was one of his most favorite places to be and of course with all of his cousins!!!
Here are just a few of his favorite things...

Best place ever to go swimming...first time swimming at Aunt katie's pool

 LOVED Nana and Papa's tricycle...even though he couldn't reach the peddles

 LOVED driving Papa's tractor

 Visiting Papa and Grandma Goodman in St. David

 Parties with cousins...although he is not too happy in this pic. ;)

 The horses of course!

 The chickens

 All of his sweet cousins that LOVE him so much!

 More tractor ;)

 more chickens

 more tractor

 Reading stories with his yummy blanket in one of his most favorite people's laps!

 more horses

 his NANA

 riding in the wagon

 Paige and Shea who claim to have taught him how to walk. :)

 Any type of driving

 Sharing anything and everything with his cousins...even chapstick.

 twinners with Andrew and Evan

and of course...More tractor

We are taking him in tomorrow to get the surgery to see if there is any scar tissue in his airway and that is killing me too. Now that he is so much more aware the last thing I want to do to him is take him back to Primary Children's and make him go through that. It's not that intense of a surgery but it's not fair that he has to go through so much...that any kid that suffers with health issues has to do any of it. But this is our life I guess and we will keep hangin in the best we can.

SURE LOVE YOU BUDDY AND MISSED YOU SO MUCH THIS WEEKEND AND EVERY DAY!

Marathon

I DID IT!!! My first marathon under my belt and I did it. By the week of the marathon I was just ready to do it. I was getting sick of all the training and was ready to just give it my all. I had been looking forward to it for 10 whole weeks and it finally came.

The week before the marathon for my taper run I decided to run the Brigham City Peach Days race again. I didn't wanna push to hard because all the marathoners out there were saying you gotta conserve it for the race but in my mind I'm thinking...really...I have a whole week and a 10k will take it out of me? So I tried to hold back but after all it is a race so you gotta try. I didn't run as fast as I did last year but still ended up 2nd overall for woman with 45:03. After the run I went and got Dakota and Zach and we came back for the parade. Dakota didn't have as much fun as he did at the Perry parade but who can beat the Perry parade...right?! :)

Watching the parade with my friend Emily's two cuties!

Zach and I decided to take Dakota one night to the carnival for Peach days to ride the rides. Once we got there  I was REALLY disappointed that none of the rides that Dakota could have handled going on would let me get on with Dakota. So the only stinkin ride that we could take him on was the Ferris wheel.

He wasn't too sure about it when we got on

We started out like this but as the ride got going and the horse went higher and higher up I couldn't reach high enough to hold him good so I ended up just holding him for the rest of the ride. Next time I'll just have to get on the horse with him. :)

So the morning of the marathon I woke up to this.

I was thinking who did that?! The only person that would have done something like that I could think of would be Zach's family but it didn't look like any of there handwriting. I loved it but at the same time I was like...WOW...that's a lot of pressure. I know I wanted to qualify for Boston but just finishing my first marathon would satisfy me as well.

Emily and I had to get up at 4 a.m. to be up in Logan to get on the bus by 5:45. It all went smoothly until we got to the lines for the bathroom. They were out of control and took FOREVER! By the time we got down to the starting line we only had a couple of minutes before the race started. As we waited in line at the bathroom it started to rain and for the first 14 miles it kept going and going! By mile 10 it was a COMPLETE downpour and even throwing in a little hail. It was crazy! My dri-fit clothes had no chance at all. Now normally I love to run in the rain but when your running a marathon, it's not as fun to be soaking wet and your feet feeling 10 lbs heavier then normal. Despite the rain, the first 14 miles were so gorgeous running down the canyon with the overcast clouds and the thunder roaring. It was seriously so beautiful. Because we were in the canyon there couldn't be any spectators until mile 14 so I was getting pretty excited to get to that mile to see my family and get some more motivation.

When I got to mile 14 I had NO idea about the greatest surprise of all...my cutest sisters came ALL the way from AZ to be there! There isn't a picture that captured my look of confusion at first trying to figure out who in the heck was cheering for me but when I finally figured it out you couldn't wipe the smile off my face for the next few miles!

This was my surprise!

When I finally figured out who it was!

They were the culprits of the sign in my yard and a few more. Zach's mom had done some cute ones too. I didn't realize til the end what they said, I was just so excited to see all of my fam that came out and cheered me on at each point.

Working on the signs right on Walmart's floor!

My cute hubby with the sign his mom made for him! What a sport!

The race was SO fun but it was hard. Mile 18 is where I hit my wall. My legs were starting to kill and it would have felt REALLY good to stop running. But I popped some Ibuprofen, kept up my Gu, and what really kept me going was thinking of some angel boys that would give ANYTHING to run! I thought of course of my sweet Dakota, sweet Dylan, and another sweet 19 year old boy that is a cousin to Christi at the chamber who got paralyzed from the neck down in a snowboarding accident (his name is Gates and his blog is gateshopeandmiracles.blogspot.com). I just kept thinking to myself...if these boys could run they would never stop. They would love to feel the pain in their legs from running so much (although Dylan gets to run now). But this just pushed me even harder and I wasn't running for myself, I was running for all of them!

Because of these boys and my AMAZING fan club...I was able to meet my goal and finished the marathon in 3 hours and 32 minutes with a qualifying time for Boston.

The finish line never looked SO good!

My sisters decided to spray me with silly string...such a great idea!

What a BEAUTIFUL sight!

My fan club!

Zach's sweet Aunt Becky and cousin Holly with the kiddos were there to greet me at the finish line! Holly was my go-to girl to for marathon tips cuz she is a pro!

My sweet husband that supported me and helped with Dakota for my long training runs. Couldn't have done it without him!

Ashley, Beau, and Houston came out and supported...rain or shine!

Dakota and Grammy were there the whole time but stayed in the car because of the crappy weather and Dakota wasn't feeling too hot! He still had a sign for me though! Thanks Vicki for ALL of your help!

My sistas

Cuties

Just some fun ones

This is what I looked like afterwards

So happy to be done!

Later that night when I was REALLY feeling it.

My beautiful medal

My amazing running partner and dear friend Emily! DEFINITELY couldn't have done it without her. She is such a trooper and agreed to do it with me when  I had this crazy idea. Did all our long runs together even if it meant getting up at 4 a.m. Love you girl!

So surprisingly I ended up 3rd in my age group of about 150 woman and even got a little trophy for it. I was 38 out of 864 woman overall, and 228th out of 1831 total racers.

After the race my sisters and I went for a yummy lunch at Firehouse and went for a much needed massage. It felt better then ever and I didn't ever want it to stop! It was SO much fun to have them there and get to hang out for a couple of days! I know I always say it but sisters are the best! (My oldest sister Shana didn't get to come cuz she was just up the weekend before finalizing her adoption of sweet Avery...sure missed ya though)

Zach and Vicki stayed home and watched Dakota

Watching a little Buzz with daddy. Love those smiles!

After all was said and done I definitely had a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment but I'm still not exactly sure what I was hoping to get out of it when I first thought up this crazy idea. Back in reality my life is still hard but I think I know I can push through...even through the toughest of times. I think I prefer physical pain and endurance over the emotional pain of watching my husband and son persevere through so much but that's not my choice  I guess. During the marathon there were a couple of girls on the sidelines holding a sign that said..."If it were easy, we would all be doing it." This is true with my life as well. I guess Heavenly Father trusts me enough to give me such a heavy load. As I talked about in a couple posts ago, I don't know why I have been given so much but I want to do the best with what I have been given so I will keep trying...and keep pushing through!

A HUGE thanks to all of you who are helping us along the way...whether by your comments, prayers, faith, or physical help. We couldn't do it without our own personal "fan club!" :)