In Remembrance

"To the world you might be one person, to one person you might be the world!"

I lost my sweet Papa 2 weeks ago today at the ripe ole age of 93. We attended his funeral a little over a week ago. It was bittersweet news when I got the text from my mom that he had passed. We knew it was coming so you think you would be prepared but you never totally are.

My sweet mom has been caring for him round the clock with her 2 sisters taking shift changes every so often for the last several months. She would often (daily towards the end) send us texts about how he was doing good or bad. One day it would be a bad day and she was thinking he wasn't gonna make it much longer and then the next he would be his spunky little self and completely turn around.

He was ready to go. Whenever you would ask him how he was doing he would say..."I'm not sure if I'm coming or going." His last year he was in a lot of physical pain and would get sick often. Despite not feeling good the majority of the time he ALWAYS had a smile on his face and remained cheerful...I'm not sure how he did it!

I'm excited for the fact that he is now free from all the physical and emotional pains of getting old. I have decided being old is a HUGE trial in and of itself!! To lose your independence of going and doing what you want, when you want, after a lifetime of living that way would be SOOO hard!! Life is hard anyways...throw that on top and every day would be truly "enduring to the end."
On my grandpa's last birthday card I wrote him "Papa...I'm not going to lie...I hope I don't live as long as you have. Life is too hard to endure that long BUT I am SO glad that you have been around this long because you have blessed my life and many others!" I know that sounds like a weird thing to say but it is true.

It's hard to say goodbye to someone that has been in your life for 29 years...someone who has loved you unconditionally...someone who has taught you through their words and example...someone who you know would give the shirt off of his back not just to you but to anyone! So I shed tears of sorrow for my physical loss of no longer being able to go and visit him...hug and kiss him, hold his soft hand, see his sweet smile, and see the love in his eyes BUT I shed tears of happiness for he is no longer in pain but enjoying the blessings he    deserves for the AMAZING man that he was!! He is reunited again with his son Bert who died in his 40's in 1999 from a car accident. He told my mom, the hardest thing that he ever had to do was bury his son. He told my mom, "he thinks about him every day." I can only imagine what a reunion that was!! After almost losing my son...I understand!

Papa, his son Bert, and my dad

My Papa was a great example. He was a tough cowboy who knew how to work and loved to work. We often would gather as a family (cousins, aunts, uncles) to have "work" days...not to play although we had a great time together nonetheless. We worked together and we worked hard. That is where my mom got it and that is why she worked us to death growing up! When I was young I would tell her, "you just had kids to be your slaves!" :) Oh how little I knew then and how grateful I am now for her teaching me how to work!

He was an honest man who when he gave you his word EVERYONE knew you could trust him.
He was a giving man. Often times when we were there to visit he would give us some money. You couldn't say no. He wanted to make sure everyone was taken care of.
 He was a good friend. Almost every morning when he was feeling up to it he would go to breakfast in Benson (which is about 15-20 minutes away) with his friends. When he could no longer drive they would come pick him up. In his last days he said...:   “I don’t think I have any enemies.  I tried to be good to everyone.  I have the greatest friends!”
He was one who always made you feel loved and important. One of my cousins was quoted at his funeral saying,“When you were with him, you felt that you were the only one who mattered.”
 I was always amazed at how much he loved and was sincerely concerned about Dakota. He probably only saw Dakota 3 times after his accident (since he lives in AZ and we are in UT) but he would ask my mom often about him and when we were there it was like he loved him on a whole other level. He would watch him tenderly with his loving eyes and just love to hold him and touch his hand. The last time we were there he told me, "Me and him (Dakota), we think the same." I didn't totally understand what he meant by that but after talking to my mom he meant he understood how Dakota felt and the way his brain worked. He knew Dakota understood much more then he could say and papa too would get frustrated at not being able to remember what he wanted to say or say what he wanted to say right. He understood Dakota on a different level then most people and he loved him tremendously. 

He was a great father! Over the last couple of years whenever we would go to visit or chat with him on the phone...he wouldn't ever talk to you without telling you how amazing my mom is, how talented she is, and how good she is to him. He would love to tell you stories too about her growing up and her accomplishments. He was SO proud of his kids and loved them very much!!

Mom and Papa

He was a funny man. Even towards the end when  he wasn't feeling good, when my mom would ask him, “are you ready to eat?” or “do you want to sit in your chair?” He would say, “Might as well, we can’t dance!”

Some of his witty sayings that my mom shared were:

·        “It’s good enough for a town this size.”

·        “Let a smile be your umbrella.”  He could find something good in any situation.

·        “If you are going to do something, give it your best.”

·        “If you don’t have a pocket knife, you might as well not have pants on.”

·        “You don’t have to be a horse’s behind, just because everyone else is.”

·        “When you fall off, get right back on.”  One of the greatest lessons!

·        When you got an “owie,” he’d say, “Heck, I’ve had worse cuts on my lip and never quit whistling.”

·        “It’s good enough for me and I’m hard to please.”

Being at his funeral was very special. Zach and I booked flights right away. It was too expensive and hard to bring Dakota so last minute but I am SOOO grateful we were there. Although seeing him at the viewing tugged at my heart I had the chance to stand there alone and just admire him and say my goodbyes. I felt his spirit surround me as I stood there and I knew he was close and that he was happy. 

Me, my parents, and siblings

Zach and I

My mom and her siblings (minus Bert)

His funeral service was amazing and I LOVED learning things I didn't even know about him...my love for him grew even more. One cool fact I learned was that he wasn't a deputy by profession because he wanted to be. The sheriff of their town actually came to him and asked him to be his deputy. He was just a cowboy raising his cows and didn't want anything to do with being a deputy but after several pleads from the sheriff he became a deputy and was a great one for almost 24 years!! 

He was a darn cute deputy too!

They lined the streets on both sides saluting us as we drove into the cemetery

Listening to the man he was made me want to be more like him and become an even better person. Being at a funeral really makes you think about your life...how you are living...what legacy you want to leave behind...what you want people to remember about you...the example you hope that you are. You can't walk away from there without feeling a sense of I want to live better...I want my papa to look down from heaven and be proud of the decisions that I am making each moment of my life!

His final request that my mom shared with us all was that we would love each other, help each other, and all get along.

 

What a WONDERFUL world this would be if EVERYONE lived by these words!!

Papa I sure love you!!! Thank you for loving me, teaching me, supporting me, encouraging me & uplifting me for the last 29 years. I truly believe that you are even closer to us now then ever before and have the ability to help us even more now that you are on the other side. I often wonder how many times you have visited Dakota already?? I wish that he could tell me...but I know you are with us! We will miss seeing your sweet face but I look forward with great joy to the day I get to hug you again!!! Until then...I will try and live my best in honor and remembrance of you!

He almost always had suspenders on since he had no bum to hold up his britches! ;) I bought Dakota his first pair of suspenders at H&M the other day and when I put them on him I couldn't help but think of Papa. ;)

Dakota in his suspenders! I hope he grows up to be like Papa!! ;)

Me (very young ;) ), Papa, and Nana (his mom), and her baby! She had Alzheimer's and took care of that doll like it was her own.

Grandma, Papa, and us

Dakota used to have lots of fun at Papa's house...

Brushing the dog with Grandma

Just workin like a good cowboy should! ;)

Million Dollar Question

SO here is the million dollar question...I don't really have a million dollars to give someone who can give me the best answer although I would if I could...BUT please think seriously about this one and give me your VERY best answer...we will take ANYTHING...and I'm being serious!!

What would you do (for work) if you went blind?????

This is the question that has been heavy on Zach and I's mind of course since he went blind 3 1/2 years ago but A LOT the last few months. Before Zach went blind he ran his own landscaping business. He went blind in August of 2009 towards the end of the landscaping season. Because he was in the hospital for 3 weeks and then of course in devastation mode afterwards he didn't finish out the landscaping year and then came winter. He had never worked in the winter anyways, we just save up for it, so it was a time to cope with what life had just dealt us.

As the winter months turned to spring we were a little in panic mode...what do we do now?? What does a blind man do for work?! Because time had run out he decided to give his landscaping a try...this year as a blind man. He had an AMAZING worker to fill in the gaps that he couldn't do anymore and seriously the Lord guided and provided and he did great!
Every day was a struggle for him because EVERYTHING he used to do very easily now took him 10 times longer. He had to pay his guy extra money just to drive him around, etc. Dakota and I also became his employers taking him to bids, picking up parts, dropping off trailers and equipment. I got pretty dang good at pulling a trailer...even with a heavy skid steer in the back.

It hasn't been ideal especially since Dakota's accident and when the last year rolled around and his long time employer had to go back to Mexico. He was in a panic on what to do now. Luckily he found a great kid to work for him and he once again, with the help of the Lord, made it work...and he really does AMAZING work!! I'm not just saying that because I am his wife!

Because he can't do all the things he used to do though he has become more of the physical laborer then he ever has been...doing more shoveling, raking, picking out trenches. This has of course taken a toll on his back and he realizes that he can't do this line of work forever...SOOOO he is looking for something new.

Obviously spring is upon us though so he is going to have to start another year of landscaping, but once again lost this last employee to a wife and baby (which I guess is a good excuse...insurance is nice! ;) ) SO...if ANYONE knows of a good, hardworking, reliable person looking for a job that's not afraid of a little sweat and dirt PLEASE let me know! He is hoping to get started aerating the middle of March if all of the snow is melted by then and he is on the hunt!!

But back to my question...ANY ideas??? After going blind Zach finished his last year of school. It was rough to say the least since I had to read his text books and homework to him! Let's just say I am SOOO glad that is over and that we are still married after that! ;) He got his degree in sales and is such a people person. He would LOVE a job in sales and would be amazing at it because he is such a go getter, SUPER motivated, hard working, great with people, and handsome! ;) (I just threw that last one in there for fun! ;) ) Some of the sales jobs that he has looked into that he would love...you have to drive a lot. OBVIOUSLY that is a problem for him. He could do a job with a little driving and be able to get rides around but obviously a job that requires a lot of driving is not for him. It's SOO hard for him to be able to see all of these opportunities out there but know that he is limited all because of his sight! It is frustrating to say the least.

So I'm asking for some serious thought. Ask your spouse, talk about it. If you or your spouse (whoever is the provider of your family) went blind today...what would you do? Would you be able to keep the job you are doing? I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to hear!

And one day when we do make millions of dollars on Zach's inventions he has been working on...maybe we will throw you a few! ;)

Heroes

So I'm sure you have noticed the side of my blog that says Heroes...I mentioned why I added that list on an older post.

I had the WONDERFUL opportunity to go to lunch and meet one of my newest heroes the other day Kali Winward.

Cafe Moores...YUM!

Her sweet little 7 year old boy was involved in a fire accident not too long ago here in our town. There were 5 boys total involved and he was the worst. I didn't know any of the families beforehand but of course my heart went out to them. When you have been through ANYTHING with your child and almost lost them you are FOREVER changed. She posted sweet and encouraging comments to me on my blog despite the fact that she was treading through this difficult water herself. I am SO happy she did though because it led me to her! I am a firm believer that you can NEVER have enough friends. Each person and friend that you make along your path will touch your life in a different way and teach you something new.

Her little guy Tayton almost didn't make it but he is such a brave little guy and pulled through!! He still has a long road ahead of him with more surgeries along the way so there family could use the love and prayers of all of you wonderful people out there.

His AMAZING mom has to do 5 hours of therapy a day with him which involves stretching his little fingers, hands, etc because of the skin graphs. It is pretty painful for him so of course as a mom it is not something that you would enjoy doing. Kali is SO loving and unselfish and does so much for Tayton and she is about to have a brand new baby in the next month!!

Tayton LOVES the Utah State University and is in a contest to win the title of THE BIGGEST Aggie fan!! It is a super tight race and he keeps going back and forth with a couple other kids so he can use ALL the votes he can get!! So if you have a spare minute PLEASE vote for him by clicking on each star. He is so cute and makes his mom check all day to see where he is at. If anyone deserves it, he does! He will win season tickets to a sporting event but really he just wants to win the "title" of THE BIGGEST Aggie fan out there! Isn't that so dang cute!! There are only TWO days left to vote so get on there and tell everyone you know...lets make Tayton and his families day!!! Click on this link to vote.

Keep up on sweet Tayton here!

My other Hero is my dear friend Emmi!! IF you have EVER clicked on her blog from my list of blogs you have probably fallen in love with her HILARIOUS sense of humor, her raw and real posts, and her darling little self!! I met Emmi through Western Wishes that Dakota became a part of. She was one of the people on the committee and she is one who just loves to give and serve!

Emmi is one of my heroes because of her honesty in the regular old hardships of life!! She suffered with post partum after having her 2 boys which is a huge battle! I didn't have to deal with that and I can't even imagine what that feels like but it is a real thing that we need to have compassion on for other people!!

She is struggling with some personal things but manages to still see the positive in life and continues to thank God every day for her blessings!! For goodness sakes her blog is entitled...To God Be the Glory!

Her blog is AMAZING because she is real. She wrote a post about how one of the #1 causes of depression in woman is from reading other woman's blogs. Everyone seems to post ONLY the good and wonderful things in their life and it paints a picture that they have "the perfect" life. Well, I'm the first one to say that I don't think ANYONE has a perfect life! Sorry chicas! It may look like it from the outside but EVERYONE has struggles big and small. Emmi is one who does the world a favor by posting about the good and the bad. I think we all learn more from each other when we are willing to share both. I'm not saying write a post every day about how bad your life sucks and only complain about this and that...because focusing on the negative things in life is not good. But I think it is appreciated by all woman when someone is willing to share some of their hardships and struggles so that others don't feel alone.

Life is hard and I think we could all learn from each other if more people would be willing to quite hiding behind this perfect life they are trying to portray and be real!!

My third hero that I adore is Melanie. We were connected through our pediatrician because she has a 9 year old boy that was born with a brain injury.  I admire her for her continued strength, endurance, and love!! It has only been 2 years that I have had to endure the new life of having a brain injured child and she is going on 9 years!! She is a superwoman in my eyes and I have LOVED becoming friends with her and her sweet boy Crew. He is DARLING! We both have an obsession with running...it is our personal therapy for sure!! She is even training for the Boston marathon right now...ROCK STAR!!

She recently has had some personal life changing things in her life and her plate is even fuller now! Even though she is struggling with her own challenges and going through so much right now she is still lifting me up and cheering me on! She is an amazing person and friend!! She doesn't write much on her blog lately but to follow her click here.

Keep all of these AMAZING woman in your prayers...I honestly don't think there could ever be enough!

I GOT the message...post for ALL woman

So over the last month I have been overwhelmed with the same message...to the point where I feel like I have to share it! It is a message that I have personally needed but yet one that I think that ALL woman need to hear at times in our life!

Why?! Because we are WOMAN!! We are hard on ourselves!! We are ALWAYS comparing ourselves to other woman and never feeling quite good enough. And it's time to STOP it!!!

It all started with the most AMAZING little book ever! A sweet lady in my church talked about it in her relief society lesson and I was intrigued, so my sweet friend Jina gave me a copy of it for my birthday. It's just a short book that maybe took me 10 minutes to read but changed my life and perspective! It is called Beautiful by Jenny Phillips!! Every woman and girl NEEDS to read it!! It made me realize what beauty really is and made me realize that sometimes I am more focused on my outward beauty instead of my inner beauty, which is of course the most important thing and what makes us TRULY beautiful!!

I loved that book SO much I took it to my group of ladies I workout with and am making each one of them read it!

After this I had the opportunity to go to THREE different events that each talked about this subject in different but compelling ways, SO as you can tell it has been on my mind!!

At 2 of these events both of the speakers asked each woman to think of something that she likes about her appearance and SHARE it with the ladies around you!!! WHAT?! AAAAHHHH! I think every lady in the room felt a little uncomfortable and uneasy...there was a lot of laughter going on! Why is it so hard as woman to find something that we love about ourselves but so easy to tell our friends what we love about them?! Why is it embarrassing to tell someone that you love____  about yourself?! Why are we SO hard and critical on ourselves?!
"Be nice to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all of the time."
Christine Arylo

We as woman need to love ourselves...inside AND out!!! We are daughters of a God who loves us!! We are created in his image! One of the speakers pointed out that he spent time to make each one of us unique. It is INCREDIBLE to me that all of us have a face, eyes, mouth, nose, ears, and a body, but yet each person is unique and looks different. Isn't that crazy...there are millions of people in the world and God took the time to make each person unique, different, and beautiful in there own way.
One beautiful quote that was shared was, "I'm not beautiful like you. I'm beautiful like me."

True beauty really is on the inside not on the outside. Think of someone who is beautiful in your eyes?? Really beautiful? It's probably someone who you admire not because of there outward appearance but because of the person they radiate with on the inside. They have a special glow to them! Have you ever met someone who is gorgeous outwardly but they are ALWAYS negative or mean? All of a sudden you don't think they are nearly as beautiful as you thought?!

If we could only see what our Heavenly Father sees in us...we would know how beautiful we really are!!! He gave us our beautiful body, talents, and gifts that make us who we are...we need to show him how much we love and appreciate them by really loving ourselves...every wrinkle, every stretch mark, every love handle, every split end, every EVERYTHING! ;)

There is ALWAYS going to be someone skinnier then us, with better hair then us, with prettier eyes then us, with better skin then us. etc. so if we continue to compare ourselves we are NEVER going to be happy! We will never love ourselves. That is what Satan wants!! One of the speakers pointed out...often times we are asking the wrong person if we are beautiful...Satan. If you got out of bed and asked him every morning if you were beautiful, of course he will bring you down and say a resounding NO!!! BUT if instead we got up every morning and asked our Heavenly Father if he thought we were beautiful...we would never go another day without feeling beautiful!!

"Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful."


Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying you don't ever have to workout or get ready ever again...I think there is balance in all things. Heavenly Father still expects us to take care of this beautiful gift of a body we were given (& our husbands appreciate it too ;) ) BUT don't make it your only focus and don't let that determine how beautiful you are!! You know me...I'm all about shopping (fashion) and I do love working out for the way that it makes me feel. It gives me energy, it helps me fight the battle of depression, it gives me a happy high that nothing else can give me! I need it! And of course there are TONS of physical benefits for your body to keep it strong and healthy! And I think every woman can attest to the way getting ready makes you feel as well! Sometimes just getting dressed, doing your hair, and putting on a little makeup can brighten up your day and make you feel good (and husbands appreciate that too! Lucky for me mine is blind so he can't tell! ;) ).

So I challenge you today...to STOP being a woman...kind of! ;) Quite comparing yourself to other woman! Quite complaining about the 5 lbs you still need to lose or that you don't like your nose or your wrinkles or whatever it may be! Look yourself in the mirror and say I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!
Take a look at your New Years Resolutions and goals...are they things of eternal value or are they all physical?! Write some goals that will challenge your inner self and make you become the beautiful woman God intended you to be and that He sees in you!! I promise not only will this make you more beautiful...but you will feel more beautiful and you will be HAPPY!!
"Happy girls are the prettiest!"

When we get old and pass away...your not going to want people to stand up and say..."She was the most gorgeous woman. Her hair was so shiny and soft, her skin was flawless, and she was always so skinny and tone!" HA HA! You are going to want to be remembered for the way you LIVED your life, the person that you were on the inside, the LOVE that you showed towards others, the service that you rendered, and the good example that you set for your posterity...and I hope that I will be known as someone who was a disciple of Christ! That is what we should work towards. That is what we should focus on and try to become! Not the supermodel on the front of our magazines that we all buy!!

This BEAUTIFUL song was sung at one of the events I went to and then just this last Sunday our beautiful young woman got up and sang it again! I am in love with it so I had to share. Listen to it...the words...everything...you won't be disappointed!!

Can't even tell you how many times I have listened to it!!!

NEED YOUR HELP!!

So my cute little entrepreneur husband's mind is ALWAYS turning!!! He is researching a new product and we need some completely HONEST & UNBIASED help! It will only take literally like 1 minute of your time. It is 4 questions that are simple. It won't link me at all to who you are...totally anonymous. Would you PLEASE take a second to click on the link below and take a super quick survey. THANK YOU!!!

SURVEY

Inch by Inch

Well, a post ALL about Dakota man is LONG overdue!! I am ALWAYS being asked how he is doing? SOOO many people love that boy and truly care about how he is really doing. A friend of mine asked me one time, "do you ever get sick of people asking you that?" The answer is NO! Not that I expect or want every single person I see to ask me about him...but I appreciate the fact that people truly care about him and want to know about him.

My sweet dad told me yesterday on the phone that a man in his church asked about Dakota and wanted a picture of him because his little children still pray for him EVERY day (it has been over 2 years now) and he wanted them to see who they were praying for. Things like this warm my heart!!

Every day is still a struggle and fight for Dakota and his parents...but we are doing good and we so appreciate the continued love, support, and prayers!  When I get asked the question how he is doing...sometimes it is hard to answer or explain because it is tiny little changes of progress that we see, not some huge drastic thing. I wish I could say, yeah he just started walking again, or said his first word. I still hope that one day those things might come out of my mouth. So I usually just say he is good...lame I know.

So I will try to describe what "good" means right now.
The biggest change, but that makes the MOST impact on our little family is Dakota's happiness. The first year and a half probably...the biggest struggle was that Dakota was crying or unhappy for about 90% of the time. Neither Zach and I do well with crying and when that is what you hear most of the time it is a bit stressful. I feared that this was what life would be like for the rest of our lives and prayed EVERY day for a change. It has FINALLY come. He is pretty consistently happy or at least content most of the time. Don't get me wrong we still have our moments and days when things aren't going so well (time out is necessary) but compared to where we were, it is AMAZING! Zach and I are both happier and are able to enjoy being his parents more and more because he makes life more enjoyable when you see that sweet smile! It literally lights us up. We still are constantly like...hurry come here, come look at him, look at his smile. I really don't think it will ever get old or taken for granted EVER again because we have experienced a time when there was no facial expression, to always a sad one, to now lots of smiles...if that makes sense.

Here is a video taken of him on his video monitor when he was supposed to be napping but decided to talk and laugh instead...

He is soo funny...at least him and I think he is!

(his thumb is glowing because that is where his sensor for his oxygen and heart rate is...just in case you were wondering. ;) )

Along with his happiness has come more responsiveness and alertness. This is where it is hard to explain but Dakota is definitely more responsive to things we say to him and we have found things a little bit easier to communicate with one another. It's like we are finally able to understand through his expressions, cries, and smiles what he wants (sometimes) and you can tell he is happy about that. Often times when he cries it is still a guessing game trying to figure out what he wants and we still are left guessing but it is getting better. For example, he will cry and you will ask him, "do you want ____?" He will either keep crying to say NO, stop crying and look at you like...you got it, or sometimes even give you a smile to say YES!! He definitely shows signs that he understands what you are saying and that is SO awesome!!
One fun example was Zach's dad came up to help Zach put some holes in his slide that we crawl down because now he is using the holes (putting hands and feet in them like a rock climber) to help him push and pull down the slide and eventually we will climb up the slide. Anyways, they went out to the garage to work on it and Dakota started crying when they left. I asked him if he wanted to read a book and he just kept crying as if he wasn't even listening to me. Then I asked him, "do you wanna go out and see what the boys are doing?" He immediately stopped crying, looked right at me and smiled. I said okay let's go out there and see what they are doing and he just kept grinning and started giggling. He stayed out in the garage almost the whole time and was just smiling and happy to be in on the action. He wanted to be a big boy, not hang out with his boring mom!!!

We had his 2nd parent teacher conference the other day and we mostly talked about him transitioning to kindergarten next year. (yes...he is going to kindergarten...crazy!! I'm still wrapping my mind around that one) His teacher's biggest worry is making sure that his new teachers know that Dakota is a 4 year old boy (5 when he goes) inside of that body. He understands things and can make choices with his eyes and that he needs to be treated like the little boy he is...not a baby.
I have LOVED his teacher this year because she sees the boy inside of that body that he can't control. She sees what I see and wants others to as well.

These are a couple fun notes I got from school recently...

Physically we are seeing little changes as well. He is definitely stronger overall with his head control and just body in general. He still LOVES to roll back and forth but is just starting to learn how to get his body from his tummy back to his back. He still gets stuck and needs a little assistance but he knows that he needs to bring his arms up and is getting the hang of it and is able to do it by himself more then he used to. The smile he gets when he does it all by himself is priceless!! I love that he is proud of himself and understands that he accomplished something great!!

He is Mr. Popular at school! Not just with the kids in his class but all the staff. We will be out and about at the store or chiropractor and random people I have never seen will be like, "HI DAKOTA!!" They are usually other teachers or therapists at the school that don't work with Dakota but tell me, "everybody knows Dakota." His nurses that go to school with him always tell me that everyone that works with him...nurses, therapists, etc. ALWAYS say that Dakota is their favorite! I'm sure they tell that to EVERY parent but of course it makes my heart SOOOO happy to know that he is loved and valued by so many besides just his mom and dad. I love that people can see and feel of his sweet spirit when they are around him.

All the kids in his class have really come to love him as well. It used to mostly just be his best buddy Tommy but now all the kids are becoming more and more involved with him. There are 2 girls that he only goes to school with on Mondays and they LOVE Dakota and he loves him. The nurse tells me that he lights up differently with them then he does with the boys. He is a little ladies man! ;)
The other day when the teachers put his chair down on the floor for him to sit in in circle time the two girls hurried and sat on each side of him and held his hand during it. LOVE IT!!

The nurse captured it for me

She said he looked right at the brown hair girl and then gave this smile! ;)

That's my boy...go for the brunettes! ;)

He got invited to his very first birthday party for Tommy!! It was at the local bowling alley and it was so fun. Tommy was so excited to see him when we got there and introduced him to his grandpa. Tommy and his dad helped Dakota set up the little metal ramp so that Dakota could bowl too. Tommy would grab Dakota's hand to help him push the ball down. It was so sweet that they included him. It was during his nap time so we didn't get to stay super long before Dakota was done but I was so happy he was invited!

Dakota and super hero Tommy!!

Dakota is still going to physical therapy and swallow therapy...now only every other week. His physical therapist is noticing his improvement in overall strength and has said we have had some of the best sessions ever recently. Swallow therapy we back tracked for a little bit cuz he went through a little phase where he wasn't as interested in eating...but we are getting back on track. He recently got introduced to peanut butter and now I think it is one of his favorite things!

I got to babysit my sweet friend Claudia's granddaughter 1 day for a couple of hours. I fed both of them at the same time and realized how far we still have to go. Dakota would take like 1 bite to her 10. We had fun though!

Dakota gets to bowl at physical therapy...

YAY!!!

We are still not near where I thought we would be with getting the trach out. He does great with his cap on (which means he is breathing normally and not out of the trach) most of the time unless he starts crying really hard. But the biggest killer is that he is still needing suctioning too often. He has a super strong cough  but still for some reason can't seem to get it all out by himself. I don't really get it but I don't feel comfortable moving forward without him being able to not need suctioned. :( It is okay though. Having the trach does have it's benefits...we get respite care because of it (which is 40 hours of nursing a month...free babysitter ;) ). We hardly use it but it is nice to have to go out on a couple dates a month or if we need to go somewhere during the day.

In January Dakota advanced from a sunbeam to a CTR 5 in primary at church. He even got his first CTR ring (which stands for Choose the Right). Not that he needs reminded to choose the right because he is perfect already...but I guess he can wear it as a reminder for his mom and dad! ;) We aren't nearly as good as him.

love that little hand!!

Things Dakota loves right now (in no particular order)...being held...especially standing up and walking around with him (it's a back breaker though if you do it for too long), tastes of all kinds, standing up (with help of course), riding the bus, school most of the time, crawling down his slide (therapy), rolling, getting fed through his g-tube, getting suctioned when he needs it, spinning around in a chair or when your holding him, laying on the kitchen counter and hitting my cups that are hanging (and trying to roll off the counter...gotta watch him), being outside, watching Toy Story (all 3), laying in his bed when he is tired, when mom and dad sings and dances in front of him, attention of any kind, friends, riding the Ranger, sledding, & that's about all that I can think of at the moment.

Oh and just being a cowboy!! ;)

So happy!!

This is emarassing mom!!!

Love those eyes!!

Don't look at me!!!

U still there?!

29...It's FINE!! ;)

So on the 8th I turned the big ole 29!!! My last year of being in my twenties. I'm TOTALLY gonna live it up...party like a rock star. ;)

It was actually surprising how ok I am with it. I think last year 28 freaked me out a lot more. Now I am embracing it. I worked hard for that year...I deserve to be another year older! ;)

I had an AMAZING birthday thanks to my AMAZING family and friends!!! Birthdays really are the best and I totally lived it up and soaked up as many days up of it as I could...and still am! ;) Zach thinks it's over but you know I always say...birthdays should be celebrated all week...I'm thinking all month now! ;) Month of February is mine!!! j/k

A couple of weekends before my birthday Zach had contractors school in Salt Lake. Since I am his driver...I had to take him down at 6:30 in the morning and wait around til 2:30 for him to be done. Because I have the BEST husband in the world...AND he knows I LOVE to shop, he told me to go shopping for my birthday while he was in class. It is a win, win for both of us...he doesn't have to try and have someone else pick up a present for me AND I know I'm gonna like what I get...cuz I picked it! ;)
Your gonna laugh at this...I started off my day free in Salt Lake (Dakota was at school and with a nurse) to shop until I drop, with a nap in the car!!!! I know I am so lame. But it was 8 a.m. and not many stores are open yet, I was tired, I knew I would need energy to shop, AND I love to sleep!! So after a little beauty rest I worked on my lesson for relief society (since that was my only time for that) then I went to fun stores that I rarely get to go to like Nordstroms Rack, Lulu Lemon (just to look ;) ), American Apparel, Forever 21, and Sephora! Great times!!

Once February 1 hit I started getting birthday wishes on Facebook...it was mad confusion on when my real birthday was...or people just know the month of February is mine! ;) It was great!!

Zach's parents were so sweet and took Dakota for a sleepover the night of my birthday. I'm not gonna lie...I looked forward to this ALL week! Don't get me wrong...I LOVE and ADORE my sweet boy but since his accident he has never slept the same. It has gotten MUCH better over the last 2 years but there is RARELY a night that goes by that I don't have to get up at least once, sometimes more with him. Even though it isn't for very long (change diaper, give meds, suction, or adjust him) uninterrupted sleep is not the same as a full nights sleep. Because Zach can't see good, it is harder for him to do things and he has a harder time falling back asleep (or so he claims ;) ) so I never make him get up. In the morning since I make Dakota's food I have to be the one to get up with him ALL the time because Zach doesn't know how to make his food. (It's a little too complicated to show a blind man so it's just easier to do it myself) So I'm totally not complaining but when people asked me what I was doing for my birthday, I would tell them SLEEPING!!! I'm so lame and old but my friend who just had twins put it perfectly. She said you aren't lame, you are just a mom...who appreciates the simple things like sleep, a time for a nice, hot shower, and a good meal that's not rushed. SO true...thanks Ashley for not making me feel so old and lame! ;) (even though i know i still am)

Just chillin with my Grammy and Poppy...loving every minute of it I'm sure!

BUT before I did get my sleep on...we did go out for a birthday dinner at Olive Garden. YUMM!!

I definitely enjoyed a lot of yummy food for my birthday too! (I love to eat about as much as I love to sleep and shop...sometimes more ;) )

I had TWO yummy surprises come to my doorstep from my sweet friends that I wish were closer to hug and tell them thank you!!

Wow!

WOW...thank you Janelle!!!

My kind of bouquet...forget the flowers...I'll take these any day! ;)

Thanks Abbey!!

The night before my birthday my sweet husband asked what he could make me for breakfast...I told him doughnuts...the breakfast of champions! ;)

This is only 1 of the 3 that I ate! ;)

Zach made me another cake...he didn't have to walk 6 miles to the store and back this time. I had everything he needed on hand! ;)

Chocolate cake with confetti frosting...YUM! I told the ladies I workout with...maybe when I'm 40 I'll like a more mature cake! ;)

I don't think I ate 1 healthy thing ALL weekend...unless chocolate covered strawberries counts?! Your birthday only comes once a year...gotta live it up...right?!

I did get to start off my day by going to the temple and lunch with my sweet friend...couldn't have been any better way to start the day!

Thanks Sharee!

Got to go to breakfast at Jeremiahs with some awesome ladies...whom I adore! (forgot to snap a pic) Thank you sweet gals!!

I got to celebrate with Zach's family on Sunday. Zach's sweet mom let's the birthday person choose what they want for dinner and dessert....so Navajo tacos and oreo cheescake it was!! Love our family!!

Our little fam

Check out that number on the candles! ;) (I love Dakota's face in the background...he is focusing for me!)

So proud of his mom!!

My happy boy just practicing walking...he is LOVING to stand up and "try" to walk (me helping him move his legs 1 at a time...every once in awhile he will get 1 up by himself...sure is trying! ;)

Besides my sleeping...my other most favorite present was from my parents!! They bought me a plane ticket to go down for the "girls annual luncheon" held in my grandpas barn. They have done it the past few years and I have NEVER gotten to go. :( Since my grandpa hasn't been doing too well I REALLY wanted to be there this year. They fancy up the barn...everyone (aunts, cousins, nieces, grandma) come in fancy hats, flowers, or tiaras for a fancy lunch where my grandpa comes to join us fine ladies. I AM SOO excited to get to go in March!! I love going down there for ANY occasion but this will be extra special! Can't wait...already counting down the days!!

Thanks to ALL that made my day SO special and for ALL the birthday wishes!!