Dear Navy,

You are 39 weeks and 3 days in my tummy right now

…which means you could be in my arms any day now!! I can’t believe how fast the time has flown from when we first found out you were coming and were as tiny as a poppy seed to now!!

Our love for you has grown EVERY single day and my heart could burst right now with how much love I have for you and I haven’t even gotten to see your tiny face or hold your little hands!

We are so excited, nervous, happy and scared for the day you come into this world!! It has taken your dad and I a long time to feel like we could bring another little person into our family after Dakota’s accident! We still aren’t sure how everything is going to go and how we will do it…BUT we know Heavenly Father told us it was time and because of that we have faith that all will work out and that you will be a HUGE blessing in our lives!!

I sometimes wonder if I know how to be a mom anymore to a healthy child. I have gotten to be a pretty good mom to a brain injured child…blending meals, cleaning and changing trachs, suctioning, therapy, diapers, etc. BUT sometimes I fear I won’t remember how to be a good mom to you. I hope that you will be patient with me as I try to be the very best mom I can to you AND Dakota!! I will have to relearn a lot of things! Physically I might get exhausted and lose my patience at times but I hope that you will understand!!
Navy, I won’t always be the perfect mom but I hope that I will find a way to teach you the things that are most important in this life. It has taken your mom a lot of years and tears to learn some of these things that I hope I can teach you while you are just a little girl!! Dakota has taught me SO much in his short 5 years of life about a lot of these things!! Because of him, I know I will be a better mom to you, then I ever could have been without him!!

Before I had Dakota and as he was just born, I wanted so bad to teach him to be the smartest kid, the most talented kid, politest kid, the best at sports kid, and of course the cutest. Now I realize that (except for the politest) I don’t care if you are ever ANY of those things! You will learn your ABC’s one day…I will never stress about teaching you that! If you never ever are able to catch a ball or be the best dancer on the stage…I won’t even bat an eye about it!

All I hope and dream for you is that you have a HUGE heart that knows how to love!! I hope that I can teach you to love EVERYONE no matter who they are, what they have done, or what they look like. That you will love and serve others as your Savior did! That you will NEVER treat anyone unkindly or judge another! I want you to have compassion in your heart even while you are young. I want you to be the kid that stands up for someone being made fun of, reaches out to someone who is sad or lonely, or gives a hand to someone that has fallen down! I want you to KNOW what compassion is and feel it in your heart…even when you are only 3!! I want to give you opportunities while you are just learning to walk to love and serve others! I won’t ever shy away from sharing the difficult things that are going on around us in fear that you are too young or it might scare you! I want you to know that there is SO much heartache in the world…not to bring you any fear…but to teach you what an important part you can play in helping ease the pain in others hearts!!

I want you to know where you came from, who you are, why you are here, and where you want to go!! I want you not to just learn and memorize the words to I am a Child of God but I want you to REALLY know what they mean!! I want you to know who God is and how important he is in your life!! I want you to live every day for Him and be the daughter of God He designed you to be!! Navy you and every person that comes into this world has an unlimited potential to be something AMAZING!! But only your loving Heavenly Father who is sending you here to me can help you to see and know the potential that is inside of you!!! I hope that you will learn at a young age how to pray and come to him to seek the guidance that I know you will need…as I have needed it…to help you on your journey back to him!!

I wonder how I will be able to teach you all of these things…I know it is a lot to learn! But I know that this is what I will focus my daily efforts on and I know Dakota will play a HUGE part in helping you to learn all of this as well!!

Navy, our family is a lot different then others. You will grow up and find that out as you go to friends houses. You will see that your brother is different then most and your Dad can’t do some of the same things other dad’s can do. Many people have told me you are so lucky to come into our family…you may wonder if that is true when you see all the challenges that you have to face on a daily basis with our family that other kids don’t…BUT I hope that one day you will see how those challenges are really blessings and that you are a pretty lucky girl!

I hope that you will love Dakota with ALL your heart!! I hope that when you look in his eyes and see his sparkly smile that you will see pieces of heaven and that they will remind you of where you came from and where you hope to go someday. You will have to be really careful, helpful, and patient with Dakota and sometimes you may wish that you had a “normal” brother that could wrestle and play with you BUT I hope that you will one day see how lucky you really are to have an angel right in your very home. If you let him, he will teach you the things that are MOST important in this life!! Not through anything he ever tells you but through his sweet, sweet spirit, his eyes, and his smile. He knows more then your mom and dad will ever know and he can help guide you through this crazy life you are about to live!! I hope that you will feel the love he has for you in his heart and that your love for him will be just as strong…even if you never get to hear his voice tell you I love you…at least in this life!

Navy, your Dad may not be able to always see your beautiful face, play catch with you, or take you for a daddy/daughter date on his own as much as I know he would love to!! But I promise he will ALWAYS love you will ALL his heart and he will give you the world and that is what truly matters!! He will play with you, laugh with you, cry with you, protect you, hold your hand (a lot!!) and be your biggest hero! He will be the best example you could ever have as you grow up and start to wonder what kind of guy you want to marry!! I hope that you will always be patient and helpful to him!! He will need you to be his helper sometimes…he will need you to be his eyes at times to help him do things. I hope that you will have a loving, serving, and happy heart and that you will find so much joy in the time that you get to spend with him!!!

Navy…we LOVE you SO much! We can’t wait to see your beautiful face, hold you in our arms, and give you all that we have to offer…which to the world may not look like much but if you could see in our hearts it is so much!!
I know your Heavenly Father is preparing you right now…whenever you are ready we will be here waiting!!!

All our love,
Mom, Dad, and Dakota