Why WE Love Dakota…Pam

I asked darling Pam to write about Dakota because she is one of the few people that new Dakota both before AND after the accident. She has ALWAYS been so cute to him and has loved him so much! I still remember the first day (several months after Dakota’s accident) that we decided to start taking him back to church. It was a VERY hard decision and there was a lot of anxiety about how it would go. As sacrament meeting got over, we stood up to walk out and Pam was right there to say hello and to see Dakota. She then, leaned over and kissed his face.

Now that may not sound like that big of deal but it was HUGE to Zach and I. It meant she wasn’t afraid of him because he was different now and she truly has had this most pure love for him every day since. She has even shared so much of him with her two girls that they love him just as much. Dakota is even Sadie’s boyfriend!! ;)


Pam and her cute family

Here is what she had to say about Dakota:

Happy birthday Dakota!! Tessie, thanks for inviting me to share a little bit about sweet Dakota for your blog readers.

First of all, the first time I met Zach and Tessie, I thought they were the most beautiful people and I just couldn't wait to see what their future baby was going to look like. When Tessie announced she was pregnant, I was super excited! I remember telling her that I pictured her baby to have really dark hair, dark skin, and brown eyes. Boy was I wrong, Dakota came out with light color hair, beautiful fair skin, and the most gorgeous big blue eyes I had ever seen! I just adored watching them be first time parents! Little did I know this sweet new baby would grow up to teach me and my family many things.

I remember very vividly the Sunday before Dakota's accident. I was walking down the hall trying to gather my kids up and dodging the crowd when I decided to back up and say hi to Dakota for a minute. He was just coming out of nursery and happy as can be to be with his Daddy. I touched his hand and spoke to him and he looked right into my eyes before being shy and looking away. So thankful I stopped that day to talk to him.

That following week, I remember my husband receiving a text message from Zach. By the look of his face, I knew something was wrong. He got choked up as he read the text to me about Dakota. It was heart wrenching to hear, and we immediately prayed for Dakota, and never stopped including him in our prayers. Dakota taught my young little girls what it meant to truly love someone who was not in their family and to pray for someone to get well. They prayed for him every day. They asked about him every day. And they still do!! He holds a very special place in our hearts and have shown us that he will never stop fighting. We love you Dakota!! Sadie says she wants to hear you sing again!

Love Pam

Pam thank you so much for being a part of Dakota’s birthday month and for loving him SO much!!

Why WE Love Dakota…Jodi

Each person I post about, I can’t seem to say enough good about them to give you a true description of what amazing people they are. Jodi is definitely one of those people!!

Jodi is for sure on my top list of “heroes” even though she is one who I have never gotten to meet and hug in person!! Jodi reached out to me through my blog but with a perspective that most people don’t have. Jodi suffered a stroke very young…after the birth of her third child.

Because of this trial and the miracle that she survived it…she is able to relate and understand Dakota in a way that no one else can…including me!! After her stroke she was in a similar physical condition as Dakota…unable to even sit up on her own with a trach and a g-tube. Because she has struggled to relearn SO much like Dakota is doing, she has a deep compassion and strong understanding of his day to day struggles.

She has allowed me to ask her TONS and TONS of questions about her experience…what it felt like to have a trach and have it suctioned out of, what does a g-tube feel like, etc. To read just a few of them go here Dear Tessie. She has helped me to understand my little boy so much better and has given me hope through her successes to not ever give up!! Often times when I am tired and frustrated at doing the same things over and over with Dakota and not seeing much or VERY slow improvement…I think maybe I should just stop wasting our time….but Jodi is a constant reminder and example to me that it is ALL worth it! No matter how long it takes…no matter how many times we have to try…you never know how far you will get…especially if you quite trying!!

Another cool think about Jodi is that we are related!!! I had no idea until I wrote a blog post about her and my great aunt emailed me after reading it that she is my cousin. Her father-in-law is MY dad’s cousin!!! Small world and I am honored to call her my cousin! ;)

To learn more about her crazy hard journey through life go to her blog http://carlsonjodi.blogspot.com
She is a true inspiration!!

Jodi holding Ana Jain a few days before her stroke.  This is a recent pic of these darling two.

Here is what she had to say about Dakota:

On my sons soccer team is a boy named Dakota and every time I hear them yell his name, I think of Dakota Friedli and a little smile comes to my face.

This may seem like an odd reaction to thinking of him. One would assume sadness, anger, or some other negative emotion might be more appropriate. But, if you have ever met, seen, or heard about him, happiness only seems the  natural reaction.

This is a boy who can't even tell his mom if he has an itch,  or  can't express his fear at trying new things, things other kids take for granted like getting on the bus or meeting a new teacher. It must be terribly frustrating to him. Yet, almost every picture or video of him he is wearing the sweetest grin or laughing the funniest laugh! He seems to have a talent for finding ways to be happy and for making those around him happy as well.

Dakota also shows such strength and determination.  It is my honest feeling that when he had his accident, he had the choice to stay or return to Heaven. It would have been sooo much easier for him to go but he chose to stay. Now, although he may not be able to say so, I am sure that every day is a struggle. I never understood until recently, how difficult being handicapped is. Just BEING. Things such as going to church or attending a family get together are exhausting! I imagine his brain telling his muscles to do something and it taking all of his mental and physical strength to do something (relatively) huge like pushing a button to start or stop music.  

I am constantly amazed at this boy and truly feel that when we all get a chance to meet him in the next life, we will be speechless at his greatness.

Of course I can't talk about Dakota without mentioning his parents. The whole reason he is so happy and most likely reason for his choice to stay on the earth, is because of them. His struggles are their struggles and his triumphs are their triumphs. I am awed by their strength, courage, and choice to be happy. They are a true example of a good mommy and daddy.

I recently read a quote that seems perfect for their whole family.
"By taking Jesus’ yoke upon us and enduring, we learn most deeply of Him and especially how to be like Him. (SeeMatt. 11:29.) Even though our experiences are micro compared to His, the process is the same."-- Neal A Maxwell

This world is a better place because they are in it!


Thank you SO SO much Jodi for being a part of Dakota’s birthday month and for being the great example you are to me and everyone who knows you!!!

Why WE Love Dakota…Emmi

Emmi…where do I even start?! Emmi entered our lives several months after Dakota’s accident. Dakota was chosen to be a part of the Western Wishes Organization…a wish kid type organization that is just for cowboys and cowgirls…so OBVIOUSLY Dakota fit right in!!

She was one of the few amazing people that helped out with this organization that we were privileged to meet and Dakota captivated her heart from the very beginning.

She has loved Dakota and always spoken about him like the little cowboy he IS and not once was. Even though he can’t ask to wear his cowboy boots or throw his hat on anymore…she saw the cowboy inside of him and has always treated him just like any other kid…not a kid with a disability. She would tell him that when he grew up he and Stoan (her son) were going to be team roping partners. I know that is something so simple but it meant the world to me!!

She has been an amazing friend to me and she continues to amaze me with her strength, humor, and realness. If you have never checked out her blog it is http://emmi-themorrisonfamily.blogspot.com/ She can ALWAYS make me laugh!!

                   Sweet Emmi                                     Her cute boys Stoan and Lake

Here is what she had to say:

Dakota has a way of creating PEACE around him. From the moment I first met Dakota, he put my anxious soul at rest. It was as though I was able breathe in life for what it was in that moment. I know probably many who have met this little guy feel the same, but I knew that Dakota had something  that I needed. Peace. He gave it so willingly. He shares the fruits of his spirit to any and all who are privileged enough to know him. He is that of a WARRIOR. Pleased with so little, yet gives so much. The things I cherish most about this little cowboy are the lessons he teaches Stoan, Lake and myself.......without saying a word.

When I look at Dakota and interact with him, I am reminded so gently of this simple truth....There is more! There is more to life than what we see! We are only passing through and this life is so temporary. Thank goodness, right?

Might I add, He is stunningly handsome and the soft skin on his cheeks is quite yummy. =)

Thank you Emmi for being you and for loving my cowboy like you do your own!!

Why WE love Dakota…Annie, Brigette, and Jena

Annie is my sister, best friend, hero, go-to girl, example, laugh until we pee girl all wrapped up into one!! She is also one of Dakota’s BIGGEST cheerleaders and fans! Of all my family (everyone lives in AZ) she was able to be around him the very most because in the summers her husband always comes up to UT for lots of things and her and her kids would always come and stay with us for weeks at a time sometimes.

She was also the one who was there at my mom’s with us when Dakota’s accident happened. She is the one who drove Zach and I to the hospital after Dakota left in the ambulance. There was just silence shattered with sniffles and sobs throughout our drive. There was nothing anyone could say to me that could make anything that was happening any better. I sat in silence with a constant prayer in my head and heart, trying to cope with what was happening to me in that moment. I can only imagine how hard that was for her to have to be the one with us.

She said to me with tears and with complete sincerity, “I wish this would have happened to one of my kids…not yours.” To this day, those words she spoke to me amaze me. I know dang well…especially after being the one who has gone through it, that I would NEVER be able to tell someone that and truly mean it as she did. As would most mothers. BUT she is SO Christ-like in every way that she would have truly been willing to change places with me and sacrifice one of her own precious children to save mine. She has loved and supported us through EVERTYHING…even throughout my whole life!! Wouldn’t trade her for the world!!!



So of course I had to ask her to write about sweet Dakota…here are her words:

What don’t we love about Dakota? He is in every real sense an angel, before his accident and after!!! We LOVE that Dakota has always loved his cousins. We LOVE that Dakota was SOOOOO polite at such a young age, I mean it was unreal! His smile and voice were and are angelic. His voice was very pure and innocent.

I can’t really express what Dakota has taught me without including his stellar parents! I mean they are literally all in one. They are the most spectacular team and one is not without the other!!!!! & the lessons are endless.

I personally LOVE that Dakota has strengthened my testimony about this life NOT being the end. He has helped strengthen my testimony of countless gospel principles! It is watching him and his amazing parents go through their everyday that is a pure witness of our loving Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ’s intimate involvement of our lives. (Especially if we let them!) Living with happiness and laughs would be impossible without that Heavenly blessing. Dakota has brought this into clear existence for me!!! He has taught me to change my whole perspective. When I don’t want to get up and go running or exercise I think “Dakota would do this in a heartbeat if he could!”. When I feel I can’t take another hardship or struggle I think of Dakota, of Tessie, and of Zack and kick myself in the large behind and think “buck up”!!!! Dakota has definitely taught me to STOP and enjoy my children, a priceless gift. That if milk spills don’t fret just be happy it can get spilled and it can get cleaned up. He has taught me that all things righteous and worthy are worth fighting for. I mean REALLY fighting!!! If I feel a relationship suffering or my testimony faltering you bet there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do. A stronger eternal perspective I would say.

Thank you Annie for being our sister, our aunt, and our friend!!!



Dakota was privileged to have 2 blog readers email him a message to share with him!!

The first one was Brigette…



I had a son pass away almost 5 years ago from a neuromuscular condition. He was 5 months old. Not a day goes by that I don't think of and miss him. I wanted to write to Dakota though because every time I see your blog and see an adorable picture of him my soul shines. I can see the love in his eyes and just feel his sweet spirit. I would love to just give him a big old hug. He brightens my day every time I see him. Thank you for sharing his sweet life and all of your stories of him. He continues to remind me that each day is priceless and no matter how hard we have it other have it tougher yet can still deal with it with a smile on their face. I pray for your sweet family. I can feel the amazing love and strength you have for your family just by reading your blog. I to live in Utah and would be happy to help any time. Being with these sweet kids like Dakota totally makes my day and helps me feel closer to my son and to heaven.

Thank you Brigette for being willing to share a little piece of your journey through life with us and for being one of Dakota’s biggest fans!! To read more about her story go here http://www.brigetterushworth.blogspot.com/



The second was was Jena. She also happens to be a very special person to me and my family because she is the birth mom to one of my sweet nephews! I admire her so much for her unselfishness and sacrifice in giving up her sweet boy to bless my families life!!

Here is her message to Dakota:



Why do I love that little boy?  I love him, because of the shining example he is to his cousins. His family. His, friends.  I love him, because you can see it in him, that he knows. You can see him trying so hard, fighting all the way, and still, being strong.  You can feel his love, and his happiness. I love him, because how lucky are all his cousins, aunts, uncles, and so on, to have this example in their lives. Because, he is here:).
 
Love ya Kota Man!
jena

Thank you Jena for sharing this sweet birthday message, for loving Dakota, and for being one of his biggest fans!!
To read more about Jena and her journey through the process of adoption go here http://choiceanddestination.blogspot.com/

Why WE Love Dakota…Ashley

Another special little lady, who is one of my biggest heroes that I asked to write about Dakota man is Ashley Sullenger! I have written a handful of times about her and her blog www.sullengers.com and she is listed on my list of blogs under the hero section for many reasons!! I just LOVE her!!

She lost her sweet daughter Preslee in a drowning accident...and through her tragedy and trial she has been a support and lifesaver to me...more then she will ever know!!

Even though she has never met Dakota in person she has been a cheerleader for him and me and I think he has been important to her through her healing as well. Dakota and Preslee suffered almost identical brain injuries just through different accidents and with a different outcome.


 

                      Her and sweet Preslee                  Her and her darling son Ledger

 (now she is a new mom to 2 new twin boys!)

Here is her sweet message about Dakota:

I think if anything, Dakota has taught me that there is a plan for each and everyone of us. And that plan is specifically tailored to fit each individual.And even though things might not turn out how we expect, Heavenly Father will be there to help us as we learn to adapt to a new life. Every time you write about him, or I see pictures, when you look at his eyes, you can tell he has an incredibly strong spirit. I really believe that. And one day when we cross over to the other side, I think both of us will be amazed at how much Preslee's and Dakota's plan was apart of our plan.


I think both Ashley and I have come to realize that neither of our situations were ideal or what we wished upon ourselves...BUT...there was a purpose and a plan for both of our children FAR greater then what either of us could have imagined!

Thanks Ashley for being a part of Dakota's birthday month!!!

Why we LOVE Dakota...Andrea

We finished up Dakota’s birthday celebrations this week but the month is not over!! ;)
We got treated to the movie Turbo for Dakota’s birthday by our sweet friends the Wards. It was so fun…we even grabbed some ice cream after!


Not that you can tell from this picture…but he really did like the movie…and the fun company!!


We had our family party for Dakota last night and we just reused the pirate theme since I had all the stuff and didn’t wanna try and do anything more! I’m all pirated out now! ;)


All the kiddos


 
Uncle Ry & Aunt Lindsay


Aunt Jenny, Uncle Bobby, Olivia, & Tate



Aunt Ashley, Uncle Beau, Maelee, & Houston



And us! We all make a bunch of cute pirates don’t you think?! ;)



We had some yummy peach cobbler. Aunt Jenny was so nice to help Dakota!



He got lots of new clothes and money to go towards his new trampoline we got him!!!


It was a HAPPY day!!!

Sure is great to be 5!!!


It’s always so fun to be with our family!!


ALWAYS something going on!! ;)


One of my favorite birthday traditions that my mom started when I was in high school (you might have already heard about this before) was that every person in the family had to go around and share what they love about the birthday person. It’s always embarrassing to hear compliments and things about yourself but yet it also warms your heart to hear how much you are loved by those who are so dear to you! You hear things that they love about you that they don’t normally tell you on a regular basis.

So…to finish off Dakota’s birthday month I asked a handful of people to share what they love about Dakota…what they have learned from him…or how he has touched their lives! Since Dakota is loved by SOOO many…even some we have never met I thought it would be fun to hear what it is about him that has touched the hearts of SO many!! Every day til the end of the month I will try and post a new one.

If you would want to share something too…shoot me an email @ tessie11@msn.com and I will for sure post it on here as well and most importantly read it to Dakota!! I don’t think he realizes how much he is really loved by so many!! ;)

The first person whose I will post is very dear to Dakota and our family. Her name is Andrea Fife. She was Dakota’s sweet nursery leader before his accident and he loved and adored her. After his accident she found me in the halls at church when we first came back and with tears in her eyes expressed how sorry she was and how special Dakota was to her. It meant SOOOO much to me that she felt some of my pain! She then became one of my faithful weekly helpers with Dakota’s therapy and then later was called to be Dakota’s personal primary teacher. Every Sunday she takes him from me and allows him to be a part of the primary in our ward. Because of her…he is included in EVERYTHING that all the other kids get to do and Zach and I get a 2 hour break to refill our spiritual buckets in our classes. There are not tons of people who I felt comfortable leaving Dakota with…especially in the beginning but I have ALWAYS felt that he was so safe and loved in her care.


Andrea with her granddaughter


So…this is what she wrote:

From the first time I met Dakota, he won my heart. He has always had a Hollywood smile and fun personality. I have always felt that there is something special about this little spirit from the very beginning of his life. When he came into Nursery at church, he walked around with his blanky and he worried a bit about being around so many children. He would sit in my lap and I would rock him back and forth and talk with him until he was comfortable enough to get down and play with the other children. He loved books and trucks the most when he was in nursery. He was quite a talker. I was shocked at how large his vocabulary was at that age. I absolutely loved the cute conversations that we had during that time of his life.

After the accident, I had the privilege of helping Tessie with Dakota’s therapies. It was like a miracle to me to see his sweet personality is still there. His little body doesn’t work the same but he is still the same sweet little boy inside. One of my favorite moments was in Sharing time in Primary when we were learning a new song and as I sang the wrong words he started giggling. I looked at him as said, “Kota, are you laughing at me?” He laughed even harder to the point where he could hardly breathe. We have had a few moments like that and it absolutely makes my whole day and my whole week to see him enjoying primary. There are some favorite songs that I noticed he likes. When he hears, I Am a Child of God and If the Savior Stood beside me, My Heavenly Father Loves me, he makes an effort to sing along. Those are the moments when I feel like angels are surrounding us. Sometimes when he gets bored we go out and walk through the halls of the church and talk about the paintings on the walls. There is one outside of the chapel that he loves to look at. It is a huge painting of Jesus Christ. We will sit there and watch it for a long time. I know that Dakota knows Him personally. For such a little guy, he has such a strong faith and I have no doubt in my mind that he receives strength from many angels on the other side of veil. Even though our conversations are not the same as they were before the accident. I still enjoy the conversations we have and am so grateful for the opportunity to have been his Primary teacher. I have heard many comments about how good I am with him or that my calling is such an important calling and that I do so much for him. Although I appreciate the kind words of gratitude, I see things a little differently. Dakota has done so much for me. His sweet spirit and love has given me a great deal of strength on days when I have needed it the most.

I will always have a special place in my heart for you Dakota.

Love, Your Primary teacher
Sister Andrea Fife

HAPPY

Since Dakota has turned 5 (the last couple days ;)) he has been SO happy! Here is just a little glimpse into what we have had most the day today. If this doesn't make you happy and forget about all your troubles I don't know what will! If this kid who has been through the ringer can be happy...we can ALL be happy!!
Just your friendly reminder..."Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful!"