Thursday, November 24, 2011


This Thanksgiving day there is a lot to be thankful for...but the thing that I was MOST thankful for on this particular day was my little angel boys smile. That smile seriously does wonders for Zach and I and can get us through the day more then anything else in this world. If all I ever get back from Dakota's accident is a SMILE I could live with that... although hearing some words out of that sweet little mouth again would sure be mighty fine with me as well! :)

This last week we have had some really happy days with Dakota and lots of smiles and then the last couple have been pretty fussy and those really take a toll one me. I have struggled a lot trying to figure out how to be a mom to a brain injured child. There is no handbook, no friend or neighborly advice, not even any doctor advice...I sometimes feel like I am all alone in this. When he is fussy and ornery I want to treat him like a 3 year old because I know he understands a lot and I want to discipline him a little to teach him that it's not okay to fuss and whine because you want something...On the other hand...he can't talk anymore and tell me what he wants, if something is hurting or bothering him, if he's hungry or just plain old wants of course he is gonna cry because that is a way of communicating for him. So trying to figure out if he is crying because he needs something or just because he wants his 3 year old way seems impossible and it sometimes brings me to my knees in tears because it is SO hard. Before his accident if he was just having a grumpy moment we would make him go to his room and tell him he can come out when he was ready to be happy...and that TOTALLY worked with him. Sometimes he would stay in there a long time and we would go to check on him and he would still have his grumpy face...but when he came out of that room he was ready to be happy. It's not so easy anymore and I think both of us just end up frustrated.

Anyways, he woke up early this Thanksgiving day and all I could think in my head was...oh great now he is going to be really fussy (because our Thanksgiving dinner was also during his nap time). I gave him awhile hoping he would fall back asleep so at least we didn't have tiredness working against us but it never happened. When I went in to get him I was prepared for the worst but he surprised me with one of his great big cheesers which kept going and going until I started laughing and then it made him giggle, and it went back and forth like that for several minutes. You better believe I quickly got down on my knees and thanked my Father in Heaven today for that happy and most gorgeous smile. The rest of the day he was just randomly throwing smiles out here and there, letting everyone hold him, and just had a great day.

Kota and Uncle Ryan

Melts my heart every time!

Luckily grammy Vicki had her trusty camera along with her and captured some of them which I am so grateful for.

So although our life is rough and a lot of days it is hard to smile, I know that as long as my little boy can smile, I can smile too! So I am grateful for SMILES!

Heard this quote the other day and loved it...thought this would be a good time to share it
"Don’t cry because it’s over, SMILE because it happened."


  1. Oh Tessie and Zack, I find myself thinking about you guys a lot lately especially this month imparticular. I can hardly believe it's been a year since Dakota's accident. I'm so glad you were able to be togther this Thanksgiving and that Dakota's sweet smile was shining throughout the day. He's so lucky to have you guys as parents. Wishing you Happy Holidays and praying for little to no hospital visits for Dakota...keep that little guy healthy :) His Smile is definitely contageous I don't think he could possibly get any cuter!!! Love you guys!!


  2. Oh Tessie, I just love you. This post definitely made me smile :-)