Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Because HE came...Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!

Our Christmas looks VERY different I'm sure then any other family out there with a 4 year old. We tried out best to make it feel like it should be...but it didn't work. Dakota had more of a sad day then he has in awhile so that was hard BUT even though for a split second I wanted to feel bad for myself I didn't.

I truly enjoyed and focused my thoughts on what Christmas is all about...Christ! And that is ALL that mattered today. It didn't matter that I woke up at 6:45 to a screaming 4 year old instead of a super excited and anxious kid wondering what Santa brought. It didn't matter that Dakota cared less about what was in his stocking.

Christ came into the world today to bring us PEACE, HOPE, and JOY and that is what made me happy today!!!

My sister Shana teaches the Young Woman of her ward and she asked me to write a brief little something on how Christ has helped me through my journey that she could share with them last Sunday. I appreciated this opportunity especially at this time because it allowed me to reflect on my Savior and his love for me.

I thought I would share it on this special day and encourage anyone that reads this to think about how Christ has helped you as well through your life's journey. ;)


It's hard to pinpoint just 1 exact thing how Christ has helped me. It has been a long process and I continually lean on him still EVERY day to help me get through each day. One of the most significant times when I needed it the most and when I can remember is the few days after Dakota's accident. While he laid on the hospital bed looking not much like his active self, that I had just held that same day...with the unknown answer of whether or not he was going to live or die...I found myself in a VERY dark hole. It is hard to describe the anguish I felt at the thought of losing my ONLY child! I wondered who I would be if I wasn't a mother anymore! The thought of it tore me apart and I literally felt darkness around me. I couldn't feel or see any light at all. It was a very depressing moment in my life. I don't know at what point it came exactly but over the next couple days...even though the situation with Dakota hadn't changed much at all, through the help of my Savior I began even through the tears to feel a little sense of peace that no matter what happens it will be okay. I prayed for Dakota's happiness in the end...whether it be in my arms or the Saviors I wasn't sure...but as my prayers turned to Dakota and his well being, my Savior pulled me out of that dark hole and assured me that it would be okay. I was able to feel peace amongst the turmoil and I was even able to bring a smile back to my face at times. Even those around me could see the change in my countenance.

Even though things haven't turned out exactly as I had hoped they would and every day I still miss my active little boy...through Christ I am able to continue on with HOPE that one day all will be well. Dakota will run, talk, and play again and my husband will be able to see again. One day because Christ came and suffered for me I will feel joy and all the pain and heartache will be gone. He didn't take away all of my problems and make everything perfect YET but he is there to help me carry the heavy load that I feel each day when I LET HIM! On my hardest days when I am in tears and I know there is no one that can understand how hard things are and how much I want to give up...I know that I can kneel and pray and that my Savior knows. He knows how hard it is for me. He knows how much it hurts to see your child not be the way he used to be. He knows how hard it is to have to miss out on what could have been. HE is the ONLY one that knows me and the way I feel and most importantly how to help me BECAUSE he came, he suffered, and he lives for me and each one of you!
May you feel the light of Christ in your life today and EVERY day!!


  1. Thank you for sharing your testimony, Tessie! You are such a beautiful person inside and out and I'm sure have always been. However,there is nothing in the world besides these experiences that can give you the depth and conviction that you feel now as you are going through the hardest times. How wonderful that you recognize that and can feel HOPE and know that it is just for a time. Love you!

  2. Sorry he had a rough day on Christmas. I hope you three have a very Happy New Year! I wish I could be there to ring in a new year with you! Miss you tons.

  3. Love that 'awesome', smiling mug! :) Your sweet testimony is exactly what I needed to hear...I have been struggling with finding balance during this time of year. {{thank you}}