Missed you!

We just got back from a very short trip to AZ. My sister Shana's family had some very special events going on that we did not want to miss. Her 8 year old Evan got baptized and they also got sealed to their new precious baby girl Avery who they adopted about 6 months ago from "angel Brooke" as we call her. It was SO fun to be there (it has been the longest I have ever been away from AZ) and it was a very special memory that I will forever hold on to.

Thanks for letting us be a part of it all beautiful Post family!

As we were driving home from the airport I was so excited to see Dakota. We didn't take him because it was so short (flew in Friday and flew out Sunday) and it would have been too hard to bring all his stuff for such a short amount of time and trying to find someone capable of watching him while we were in the temple and all. Huge thank you to Doug and Vicki and Aunt Jenny for taking care of him while we were gone. As I held him in my arms and told him all about the trip and what we did with nana and papa, aunts and uncles, and of course his sweet cousins and I couldn't hold back the tears. I wanted so badly for him to be there with his healthy body again. The whole trip I kept thinking...Dakota would have LOVED this! When all of his cousins got up to sing at the baptism my heart hurt to not get to see Dakota up there singing I am a Child of God with all of his cousins. Watching the excitement in sweet Evan getting baptized I couldn't help but think...Will I ever get to see my little boy do this?! As I watched all of the things that sweet Avery could do at 6 months I realized how far Dakota still has to go. I had the opportunity to watch my sweet nephew Peyton at his soccer game and all I could think about was this is what I wished I could be doing as a mom someday...but will it ever happen?! I savored every moment with my nieces and nephews...Zach and I even took the oldest ones out one night to tee pee Uncle Riley and Aunt Annie's house for their first time.
The pics turned out a little blurry but still great memories...

Writing them messages

1 message ;)

 Writing messages with toilet paper going on behind us

Zach showing the how it is done!

Our best work ever!

Took Trai with me and by best friend Abbey to the nail salon to get pedicures (she got her fingernails done) and the best lunch ever at Oregano's for Abbey's birthday!

 Trai...so excited

Just relaxin with 2 great girls!

 Took Evan and Lane with us to Sam's to do an errand for my mom and eat some Icee's with them.

One because I LOVE them dearly and miss that I don't get to see them as often as I would like...and two because I miss the excitement, liveliness, pure joy, and funny things that children bring to your life. I miss a lot about Dakota that I want back so much. I still love him to pieces and he still brings a lot of joy to my life but there is still an emptiness in this house that I don't know if it will ever be fully filled.

Don't get me wrong...I LOVED our short trip...every minute of it but there was just something missing in it...Dakota! Every time Zach and I even brought him up we would have to stop because it hurt so bad to know how much he would have loved it and how much we missed it. Nana and Papa's was one of his most favorite places to be and of course with all of his cousins!!!
Here are just a few of his favorite things...

Best place ever to go swimming...first time swimming at Aunt katie's pool

 LOVED Nana and Papa's tricycle...even though he couldn't reach the peddles

 LOVED driving Papa's tractor

 Visiting Papa and Grandma Goodman in St. David

 Parties with cousins...although he is not too happy in this pic. ;)

 The horses of course!

 The chickens

 All of his sweet cousins that LOVE him so much!

 More tractor ;)

 more chickens

 more tractor

 Reading stories with his yummy blanket in one of his most favorite people's laps!

 more horses

 his NANA

 riding in the wagon

 Paige and Shea who claim to have taught him how to walk. :)

 Any type of driving

 Sharing anything and everything with his cousins...even chapstick.

 twinners with Andrew and Evan

and of course...More tractor

We are taking him in tomorrow to get the surgery to see if there is any scar tissue in his airway and that is killing me too. Now that he is so much more aware the last thing I want to do to him is take him back to Primary Children's and make him go through that. It's not that intense of a surgery but it's not fair that he has to go through so much...that any kid that suffers with health issues has to do any of it. But this is our life I guess and we will keep hangin in the best we can.

SURE LOVE YOU BUDDY AND MISSED YOU SO MUCH THIS WEEKEND AND EVERY DAY!