I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor

So before all of this happened I had been meaning to do a couple of posts showing some of the cute pictures that his Grammy Vicki has taken of him with things that he loves. I just never had time to do it yet but I thought why not do it now. They are so cute and it will give everyone a reminder of who that cute little boy is that we are all praying and hoping for. So sorry for so many pictures but putting them on here is the best thing that I can do with them. Otherwise they will just sit on my memory card doing nothing. :)

Dakota has always had a love for tractors and grammy and poppy got this sweet tractor and he has LOVED it!

 

Checking his feet to push the pedal

Racing mommy

Sexy boy...anyone need a ride?

Fun times with Uncle Ryan and Lucy in the back

She got away

OH Poppy..this is tough work

Shifting gears...watch out!

Grandma!!!

Giving my best pals a ride...Buzz behind him and of course Sophie! :)

Cutest cowboy I have ever seen!

Get back there Buzz!

If the tractor breaks down...just ride the dog!

1 week home

We have been home one whole week and have survived it...pretty good...I think. We got home Friday the 7th around 7 p.m. and from that moment everything was a little crazy and overwhelming. We had a handful of people over to bring equipment, showing us how to use it, then it not working and then them coming back, nurses, etc. It was pretty intense the first few days and it would hit about 4:00 p.m. and Zach and I would look at each other and say "what have we done today? Just keep Dakota maintained with meds, food, stretching, rehab, comfort, etc." We have become nurses, therapists, parents, and secretaries overnight. Luckily we have started to get the hang of things and have gotten on a good routine so things are getting better now. We have even been able to get dressed and semi-decent on some days. :)

With all the changes and craziness I do have to say it is SO nice to be home. It is so much more relaxing and peaceful even though we are so busy. Dakota is sure loving it too. We have seen a lot of little progressions since we have been home and his sleep schedule has gotten a lot better. Not perfect by any means but a lot better. In the hospital he had gotten really thrown off and we were lucky if he got 6 hours of sleep at night and not all at once. He would fall asleep anywhere from 9-1a.m. and sleep a few hours, be up a few, and go back a few. During the day he would sometimes nap but there was ALWAYS so much going on that it was hard to have a consistent sleep schedule. For those of you who know Dakota this is not him. He has been such a good sleeper since he was a newborn. Never waking up in the night, sleeping 12 hours at night and taking a good 2-3 hour nap in the day. The doctors started him on some meds before we left to help which helped a little but it was still crazy. Now that we are home he is falling asleep consistently around 8:30-9:30 and is staying asleep for anywhere from 5-9 hours now which is great! He is napping every day for at least an hour to four depending on the day. We hope to continue to get better.

My parents came on Tuesday and left yesterday. They bought Dakota a sweet bed that even Zach and I are jealous of. The head and feet can come up and it even vibrates to give you a little massage. I think Zach would rather sleep with Dakota now then me.

His new bed

I think he likes it!:)

Luckily we have qualified for in home nursing so we have a nurse come for eight hours every night. You think that this would mean that Zach and I are able to sleep good and relax at night but unfortunately not yet. Don't get me wrong we love having a nurse there but we are anal parents that any sound, any peep that is made we are up and in there making sure everything is okay. I trust the nurses but you know...nobody knows a child like it's mom so I feel like I need to be there to help and see what is wrong (if something is). I'm sure the nurses think we are crazy but that's okay.

The biggest changes that we have seen since being home is his emotions. The most exciting thing to share is that he is SMILING. :) His first smile was actually a couple days before we left the hospital. We were in physical therapy and all the sudden the sides of his mouth turned up a little bit like a smile...something he has never done before. The therapists said it looks like he is smiling and I had to agree. I wasn't sure if it was really a smile or he was just learning to use those muscles again but I took it as a smile. Well our first full day home he was smiling non-stop. Now it's not like his normal big smile before his accident like this:

but it looks like this:

Sometimes with the tongue out, sometimes not.

Smiling with nana and papa stretching him. They were great therapists.

His smiles started out with no real purpose behind them. He would just smile out of nowhere and nothing I did could make him smile. It was kind of like a new baby when they smile and you don't know if it's gas or what. The last few days we have started to get some real purposeful smiles in reaction to things that we do to him and that has been SO much fun. He will smile at peek-a-boos, little piggies, little tickles, Zach bonking his head with a ball, etc. This has been so special and I know a tender mercy of our Heavenly Father as we have been praying to see his sweet little personality come out. For all of you who know Dakota well he was always the happiest little boy, even as a baby. We are so grateful for each and every smile.

His cries have changed so much too. They are more intense and real. He can get really sad and they last a lot longer. It is more like a real cry without the noise because of his trach. He can't make much noise because the air passes through the trach before passing through the vocal cords. Every once in a while he will get some air pass there and let out a little whine. Although it breaks my heart even more to see his big tears I know it is a good sign. He definitely lets us know if he is not liking something or if something is bothering him.

Dakota's eyes, alertness, and responsiveness have also improved so much over the last couple weeks. He is beginning to focus on things a lot more and tracking things much better. He will know follow objects or people. Sometimes as someone just leaves the room you can watch his eyes just follow them out. He is able to find voices and noises with his eyes now. Before you would have to show him something in his line of vision and then he would follow. Now he has begun to find a toy with noise or a voice with his eyes and then follow it. He is not doing any of this consistently EVERY time you talk to him or do something but it is huge progress from where we started from.

He is moving his body a lot more now. His trunk and limbs are starting to move more often and with bigger and stronger motions then before. We really feel like he is trying to move and do certain things but it is just so hard to make his body do what he wants it to do.

They have not started his in home therapies yet but they have began to come in for evaluations and things and hopefully those will start soon. Zach and I work him like crazy every day but it is nice to have a professional come in and do what they do best.

Overall, we are so pleased and grateful for the baby steps that he is making. Of course we wish that he was so much farther by now but we have to stop and count our blessings and miracles each day to realize how far we have come and how grateful we need to be. Some days it is harder then others but we are doing the best that we can and the Lord is making up for the rest.

The thing that I have realized most as we have been home, is how nice it is to simplify your life. Before all of this happened it seems as though there was not a spare minute of time. There was always something or other that we had to go and do and the list of to-do's was never ending. As we have been home from the hospital and have been forced to focus on what matters most, our little family, I have realized how nice it is to simplify and focus on those things of true value. For some reason there is no longer places that I have to be and my to-do list is pretty much obsolete besides the obvious things. All of those things that kept us so crazy busy didn't just disappear but they are no longer as important as I thought that they were. I have more time now to be with my family, to have meaningful personal prayers and study time and it has made all the difference. There is so much out there to distract us and take us away from those things that matter most so I have to say that I am grateful for this opportunity that has forced me to change my way of thinking and doing.

As Elder Oaks said: "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families."

Please continue your prayers and faith for Dakota. We still need all of your faith and strength. Thank you for your continued comments. We read them, appreciate them, and love them all! You all give us so much strength, courage, and inspiration to keep going! WE LOVE YOU ALL!

STAY STRONG DAKOTA!

Progress Report

Where has the time gone??? I had to take Zach to Kinko's today, when we took a little break from the hospital and the guy said to pick it up tomorrow the 31st...I was like WHAT???? It's New Year's Eve tomorrow...you got to be kidding! It is crazy how the time just seems to be traveling by. But since I found out it is almost the new year...I thought well maybe that's a good thing for us...maybe we can hope for a better year and exciting new changes. (I'm not going to count on it since each new year has brought with it it's own set of challenges for the last three but hey three strikes your out...RIGHT???? At least that's what I'm hoping for.)

Well, SO much has been going on up here it has been too crazy to try and keep it all up to date...sorry to all of you! There doesn't seem to be a moment where there is not at least someone in our room doing something with Dakota or talking to us about one thing or another. Some days it is a little overwhelming and it seems as though we have no time alone but they are all so amazing here and we have been very pleased with the wonderful people that are working with Dakota.

Christmas came and Santa found Dakota even in the hospital.

Dakota opening his stocking.

Doug and Vicki of course brought us plenty of Christmas goodies as well.

 The cutest thing was a couple days before Christmas this cute boy that had been here for a brain injury brought Dakota a present because he felt bad for the kids that had to stay there on Christmas day because he was getting to go home. His cute mom peeked in our room to see what Dakota liked and they got him a Toy Story alien guy. It was so cute and sweet of them and brought with it the special Christmas spirit!

Giving Dakota his present all wrapped and everything.

Christmas day was a really hard day for Zach and I. It wasn't even because it was Christmas it was just one of those hard days where no matter how hard I tried the tears would not stop coming. We just miss our sweet little boy and hearing his cute voice. It is hard to stop thinking about what he was like and focusing on where we are at right now. That night Doug gave me a priesthood blessing and it helped so much. Sometimes you just need that added strength from your Heavenly Father to keep you going.

Overall, we are still doing well and just continuing to take it one day at a time. We are so grateful to have Dakota with us and grateful for this opportunity to slow down our busy lives and just love him to pieces. Things like this really put life into perspective and make you realize what is most important. My love and appreciation for Zach and Dakota, both of our families, and all of our friends has increased dramatically! Zach has been amazing through this all and I feel so blessed to have him by my side through all of this. I couldn't imagine doing this without him. I feel so blessed to have been given the gift of being Dakota's mom and although he is not the same little Dakota that he was right now, I feel even more blessed that he chose to stay here with us and let me be his mom for even longer here on this earth. Our children are truly a GIFT from God and we need to cherish them and treat them as He would want us to. 

It is really easy when things get tough to compare your life to others and think...man, this is not fair. Why do we have to suffer through these trials while other people seem to have it so easy. This can bring you down and is very depressing. If you really look around you, especially here in the hospital, you will realize your life isn't that bad. We have been given SO many blessings and it is our choice whether we want to look at our blessings and find happiness, or dwell on our problems and be depressed. The choice is ours.

Moving on to what is happening...

So, we found out a couple days ago that we will be going home sometime early next week because he is not quite ready for their inpatient rehab program. When I first heard the news I was pretty upset and had a hard time hearing it but the more I have talked with the rehab team and the more I have come to understand the better I feel about it and am actually excited to get to take him home. (I mean it is great living in a hospital and all :) ) We are excited for Dakota to get to go home and be in a familiar environment without all the beeps and loudness of a hospital.

He is tolerating the amount of therapy very well and the therapists are very pleased at the improvement that they see. Even the doctors have said that they have seen lots of little improvements since he has been here. The doctors really wanted him to be able to stay for the inpatient rehab but the rehab team feels as though this is not the most beneficial time for him at this moment. To be in the rehab program they have to be able to handle three hours of therapy a day (which he has been doing very well) but they also have to be able to participate in some ways. They don't have to be fully competent and everything but they have to be more active then passive. It is also a political thing with insurance as well. Insurance doesn't have to pay for rehab so what they will pay for is only one rehab stay. So...if Dakota does not improve enough in the insurances eyes each week then they will quite paying for his rehab stay. Then Dakota's one shot of really intense rehab is gone. So...in the rehab teams eyes...they don't want to ruin his one shot at this time while his brain is still recovering. They want him to have a little more time to recover so that when he is more ready they can maximize that time. We have come to find out that inoxic brain injury's (which is the fancy way of saying injury to the brain due to lack of oxygen) take a long time to recover from. So...like everything else in our lives we just have to wait and see. It could be a few weeks or it could be a few months before he is ready, or worse case scenario not at all. It is completely unknown and is up to Dakota. (And of course Heavenly Father)

So when we go home he will still receive therapy (outpatient or in home...not sure yet) a few times a week but in reality we will be his biggest therapists. We will be working him like crazy helping him build back the strength in his body and trying to reprogram that brain. Right now there biggest goal is to help him with his muscle tone. His brain is sending messages to his muscles to tighten up so his muscles are so tight. You would not believe how strong this two year old boy really is. Some days I can't even bend his leg it is so tight. They have been giving him medication to help with his tone and just lots of movement.

To help his little feet and ankles they put casts around  his feet to help his ankles get back into better position because he wants to point his feet down.

There they are putting them on. It was hard work for them getting his feet to stay in that position. The little casts were so cute but yet so plain...we couldn't have that so....

Uncle Ryan saved the day and definitely spiced them up a bit!

Doing his amazing work! Dakota doesn't even know! :)

The finished product! Buzz and Woody...who else???

So they left those on for a few days and then they took them off and pushed his feet up even more and redid them again. So of course Uncle Ryan had to come back and do his work again...

Ryan and his beautiful assistant Lindsay!

You can't see the full affect from this angle but it is Jessie, Bullseye, Rex and the alien all from Toy Story. I know he is amazing isn't he. Everyone in the hospital has come to admire his work. So if you ever need any artwork done for your kid's room or anything...Ryan is your man. He even painted Dakota this cute picture of Buzz to go in his room.

Thanks Ry for all your hard work and time! I know Dakota loves it!

So, Monday they will take off these casts and are planning on giving him a dose of Botox in his calves and recasting to help the tone even more. Botox...who would of thought. Maybe they will give me a little dose for all of the wrinkles all this stress has been giving me! (That's a joke)

So the physical and occupational therapists started out just coming to the room and stretching him out but they have definitely gotten a lot more intense. They take him down to their gym and do all kinds of crazy stuff with him. The first time they did I was like oh my gosh...they are gonna kill him. (Not really but they are just very aggressive and as the mom it was hard to watch) But I know it is all good for him and even though he cries at moments it helps his little body so much and is helping his little brain to stop sending those bad messages to his muscles. They have to remind me that he isn't crying because it hurts, he just is easily agitated and it is hard work for him. (Lately he has been having those sad emotional moments very often. I can't even count how often. Many times it is when they are doing things he doesn't like, other times he just does it.  This is all a good sign although it is hard as his mom to see. It is part of the brain recovery and shows signs that he is definitely more alert. His cries are not his normal cries but rather he breaths really rapidly, with a sad face, some tears, and now starting to hear a little whine. It has been so fun to hear his voice again although it is so short. They only last a few seconds and then he is normally calm again. But he definitely lets you know he is upset.)

Sitting up in his bed...this was only the beginning.

How cute is he though?!

Making him lay on his tummy and work on holding his head up. He does have some head control that the therapists are so happy to see but he does get tired quick and likes to rest it. He is looking at himself in the mirror. His eyes are looking a lot better. They come down more (he used to have them up a lot) and he is starting to have moments where he gazes at us and things. He still doesn't consistently follow things with his eyes but a few times we have got him to follow for a short moment.

They have him starting to interact with things but they do all the work for his arms and hands. They have used these cars, a puzzle, and a ball.

They also help him to stand and feel his body. He has to start all from scratch like a newborn. Our first goal is to get him to have more head and trunk control, being able to hold his head up and trunk up. He will need to learn to hold his weight on all fours, roll over, crawl, and walk.

It is hard to go back from the active little boy he was to all of this, but the comforting thing is there is a chance he can do it all again. They are excited about the improvements that they are seeing and the doctor says it is optimistic to say that he will walk and talk again but they wouldn't say he won't be able to. Although the chances are definitely not in his favor, we will take any chance we can get. His brain is still recovering and he is still improving they just don't know at what point he will stop improving so we will just keep working and mostly just praying for God's help through this all. We know Dakota is trying hard and is working really hard through.

The speech therapist also sees him every day. She works more on the senses and trying to get responses from him. When she first worked with him she did not see any eye gazing but over time she has begun to see his eyes come down and gaze a little bit. She is so cute and calls Dakota her boyfriend and just works so well with him.

Letting him smell some peanut butter.

All the therapists here have been so great and have worked so well with Dakota. Leaving them will be the hardest part because they are seriously so amazing. But we will keep working hard so that he can come back and have that great chance to work with them again.

As you can see from some of the pictures Dakota is completely off the oxygen and is able to wear an artificial nose during the day over his trach to help filter some of the air and give him a little humidification (just like our nose does for our airway). They have switched his feeds to bullis (not sure if I spelled that right at all) feeds during the day which just means he gets fed three times a day for about fifteen minutes (regular meals like us) instead of consistent feeds all day long. Both of these things have been great because it has freed him up and allowed us to hold him easier and now we get to take him on walks in his wheelchair. Too bad it's too freezing outside to take him out but he seems to enjoy getting out of the room and going and exploring other parts of the hospital besides his room.

Getting all geared up and ready to go!

Soakin up some sun from the window.

Family walk.



Sorry this is always so long but this is my journal so I want to be able to remember all of the details and can hopefully show Dakota when he is older all the progress that he has made, how far he has come, and what a miracle he is. He truly is our little miracle boy and we love him to pieces. I am SO grateful for this chance to be his mom.

And last but not least...our continued thanks to all of you for your prayers, faith, comments, and strength! I know I always say this but we honestly couldn't do this without all of you!!! We hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and hope you all have a VERY happy New Year!!

Go Dakota Go!!!

Back in Utah

Surprise!!! We are back in Utah as of Monday night. It was a surprise to us as much as it was to all of you. We knew that the insurance had approved the transfer to Primary Children's in Utah but we weren't sure when it would happen. The social worker had initially told us Monday or Tuesday but after talking with the doctor Friday night we didn't think it would be the first of the week. Well, come Monday late morning the social worker tells me the medical jet is getting ready to come down. We were a little surprised and shocked and definitely not prepared for it. We had suitcases at my parent's house we needed to get, Zach had no flight booked (I got to ride on the medical jet with Dakota), it was just a little stressful but we knew this is where the Lord was leading us to. In the beginning when the insurance approved this the social worker admitted it was in God's hand because this rarely happens. When the nurse came in to tell us the jet would be coming she was in disbelief herself and said this never happens on a Monday morning. Zach was able to get a flight and we landed within ten minutes of each other. Everything was just working out perfectly. Our prayers were being answered right before our eyes. We had been praying that we would be able to move forward and be able to be in the best place for Dakota and the answers just came so quickly I didn't even have time to digest them.  

It was a really emotional day for me that whole day and the next. It was weird how torn my heart was. Of course I wanted to be closer to home and most importantly I wanted Dakota to have the best care he could but it was, in a weird way, hard to leave this hospital, where we had gotten to know the nurses and doctors there so well. They had an INCREDIBLE picu team there and each and every one of them were so great to us and Dakota. They become our friends over those 3 weeks and even though I knew that they would have great people here at Primary's it was hard to say goodbye to those who knew Dakota so well. The hardest part of it all was saying goodbye to my family. My mom and I had a good bawl session together as we sat holding Dakota's hands, waiting for the medical jet to arrive. I couldn't hold back the tears if  I had wanted to.

His last day there...he finally got to wear some real jammies!

Goodbye Nana and Papa...we will miss you!

So comfy and cozy in his nana's arms

Look at both of their eyes...so serious and thoughtful! :)

Dakota did such a great job on the trip...he even took a little nap. It was an interesting little ride that of course I had to document so that he can see what a cool thing he got to do when he gets older. Not every kid gets to have their own personal jet! :)

Lifeflight team getting him all ready to go.

Getting in the ambulance to take us to the airport.

There it is!

Loading him up...so carefully...I was making sure of it! :) They were so cute to him and me. What a great team they have!

Inside the plane.

Since then, I have pulled myself together a little more and the people here have been so amazing and helpful in ways that the PICU there could not. The PICU's job was to get him stable and ready for rehab and they did a great job of that. Here they are specialized in brain injuries and rehab so they have a wealth of knowledge to share. I feel the comfort of the Lord and know that this is where Dakota needs to be. We have already learned so much about his needs and care due to his brain injury that we had no idea about. The medical teams here have been on top of everything since we have arrived and I can't even count the number of people that are involved in his care.

At this point they are not sure if he is ready for their intensive inpatient rehab program yet but they are still evaluating him over probably the next week or so to see where he is at, what he needs, and to prepare us for his care if we end up going home instead of staying in the rehab. So we are still just taking it one day at a time. The rehab team comes in every day to work with him right now and they are SO incredible. We have appreciated their helpful feedback and their extensive knowledge.

There is still no black and white picture of how Dakota will recover and how fast any of it will be. The medical team here is reviewing all of his information and the areas that have been damaged so I'm sure we will get some more info at some point. We have learned though, that with all brain injury's no matter what they are, it is still individual for each child. So, as always, it is in the Lord's hands and it will ultimately be His decision. So we will continue to pray that His healing hand will be over Dakota's little brain and that He will continue to lead and guide us every step of the way.

His new room (only for a day). He stayed one day in this PICU room until they moved him into the neuro trauma center.

We are doing good though and despite this freezing cold weather that welcomed us home, we are glad to be back. We went home last night for a few hours for the first time in a month while Doug and Vicki stayed with Dakota and it was nice to have a home again. It was hard to go into Dakota's room and bathroom and not see his cute little self there with us doing ALL the cute things that he does. There are times like these when the tears just come and we miss him even though he is physically here with us. It is hard to explain the feelings that we have and the emotions that just come. Words cannot express the gratitude that is in our hearts for the miracle our Heavenly Father provided us by keeping Dakota here with us but at the same time, all the memories we have with him are right there and it is hard not to have that same little outgoing boy doing all the fun things he used to do. I am grateful for my Savior and his loving hands that bear us up when we have those hard moments. The hard moments come for a moment and then they go because of His love and sacrifice for us. Although it doesn't really feel like Christmas to us right now because we have no time to think of it, my thoughts are constantly turned to my Savior and my love for him and his life has grown dramatically. So, in a sense we are celebrating Christmas for what it truly is this year.

Please keep Dakota in your prayers...and maybe we will get ourselves our own little Christmas miracle (although we already have). We would love to see all of our friends and family but unfortunately right now with the flu/rsv season they are limiting visitors as much as possible to immediate family. Also, with Dakota's condition they don't want him to get overstimulated while his brain is still recovering and trying to heal. So even if we go home it still may be awhile before we are able to see everyone. Although we would love to see all of our friends and family, our primary focus is on Dakota and his recovery so we will do whatever it takes to give him the best chances for a full recovery. So know we will be thinking of you guys and we continue to appreciate all the love, support, and prayers that you offer in our behalf. We are still fighting and I know Dakota is too.

He has began to show emotion and have moments where he looks like he wants to burst out crying. The first time he did it I was so sad to see him sad but at the same time so happy to see ANY type of expression of emotion come out of him. Since that first time, he has began to do it more often to where he does it several times a day depending on what people are doing to him. They are happy/sad moments for us but it is progress nonetheless. We continue to rejoice with every tiny miracle!

My moment I needed most! He fell asleep in my arms...when I was having one of my hard moments! I LOVED it!!!!

We continue to thank all of you for your prayers for Dakota. I hate to ask any more of you...BUT...there was this precious little 3 year old girl named Fernanda that came into the hospital in AZ a few days before we left with a strain of Meningitis that almost took her life in one day. She was right next door to Dakota and she was going through SO much! She is fighting for her life and a hard recovery from this deadly infection and her family was SO sweet. My heart literally broke the day she came in and I saw her cute mom crying in the waiting room. Everything we went through flooded my mind and heart and I wanted to take this pain away from this family. They were praying for Dakota as we prayed for their little girl...so please if you could pray for Fernanda too!

We love you all so much!!

3 weeks

Today is our 3 week count and I can't believe it. Three weeks doesn't sound that long but it feels as though it has been forever since that first day, while at the same time I can't believe it has been three weeks already. It is a weird feeling and Zach and I feel as if we have no idea what is going on in the outside world. It's almost like the hospital has it's own little hospital world where time is not measured by hours or days but by changes.

We are getting pretty good at finding decent sleeping positions on the hospital chairs and drowning out all the alarms and beeps. I know where to find most things that we need and how to do most things for Dakota now so it is really like our little home. We do try and venture out each day for a little bit to either sit in the sun (which has been really nice), go to the store or eat, and every once in awhile go take a nap on a real bed.  Before Doug and Vicki left last weekend his cute work (Hill Airforce Base) got us a hotel room for a few days near the hospital so we could take turns with them sleeping in a nice bed and showering. It was SO very sweet of them and we appreciated it so much. I just have to thank all the staff out there that work with Doug because they were so understanding with him taking off to be here for two weeks and did so much for us. So thank you all!

Thanks to my sweet parents for coming each day and being with him so we feel comfortable to leave. They have become the best little therapists.

Keeping him moving. He gets really stiff from being in bed and not moving so we have to move his legs, arms, and hands to keep the from getting too stiff. My dad has his own little sayings to help Dakota move. When he does his legs he talks to him about getting on the saddle and his hands by catching and throwing the ball. It is so sweet and he likes to do it for his Papa.

Before I go on with the updates I first have to clear up where we are at because I know it is a little confusing and I have heard some people have misunderstood what I have written. I am so sorry for that. It is REALLY hard to relay everything in a way that is understanding for people who have not actually seen Dakota. So to clarify a little more about his condition...he is actually considered to be in a light coma. When I said he wakes up it means he opens his eyes. He doesn't follow objects with his eyes though and respond to things like a normal person that is awake and alert would do. He is awake for most the day and sleeps most the night. The doctors can't say for sure whether or not he hears us or not but we believe that he can. We have noticed things that tell us he hears us and knows we are there. He does have slight responsees to touch but he doesn't really move much at all. I hope that makes a little more sense to you all.

We are still waiting patiently by his side for any little improvement that we can get.  The doctors are really wanting to get him out of here and into neuro rehab to give him a better chance of recovery. So we are in the process of working on this, when and where he will go, etc. Also getting him completely off of the ventilator and breathing on his own will help rehab be more beneficial. They are still weaning him off of the ventilator and so far he has done so well, which is so very exciting. A few days ago they took him off the vent for the first time and just gave him humidified air with a little oxygen. So this means he is taking all the breaths on his own without any help. It is not an overnight process though even though he is doing so well. They have to slowly do it to help build his strength and muscles up since he has been receiving help for so long. But so far so good!

This is the humidified air pump. It helps keep the trach moist and gives him a tiny bit of oxygen. He still needs to be weaned off of the little amount of oxygen that they have been giving him so he is not quite ready for just room air.

The best part about being on this instead of the ventilator is that we got to HOLD HIM for the very first time yesterday!!!! It felt so good and I couldn't believe that I hadn't held my baby (big boy) for three whole weeks! He felt so much bigger already I couldn't believe it.

I hope that he enjoyed it as much as we did and that he could feel our love while he was in our arms.

Today (Friday) he got his trach replaced with the more permaneant one. They had planned to do that Monday but he had a little leak around the first one so they decided to push it up and do it today. It was a quick procedure that wasn't hard on him at all. It looks the same as it did before but he no longer has the sutures (stitches) that was holding it in place. It just has the little band around his neck. It still looks pretty tender around the hole but is healing well. They had me help clean around it the other day and that was hard for me to do. I know it is good for him so it doesn't get infected but it does look painful for him. Good thing he is tougher then his mom. :)

Besides the progress of his breathing on his own (which is a huge blessing from the Lord) there has not been a whole lot of other changes. It is a slow process and each day we look into his eyes we feel he is getting better and fighting so hard. Every tiny movement, every yawn, every blink of his eyes, every breath he takes, even every poop he makes brings us SO much joy. It is hard to be patient as we want so bad for him to just jump out of the bed and run and play with us but we will continue to rejoice in what we have and every tiny improvement that we make until that day comes!

We continue to thank all of you for your encouraging words, your love, prayers, and support! We love and need them all! Thanks for all of the goodies that so many of you have sent. Dakota is getting so spoiled and his little Christmas tree is just surrounded even more by all of the sweet gifts and cards that have been sent. This is by far the best Christmas he will ever have and he doesn't even know it yet! :)

Please continue the prayers and faith! Miracles are happening every day because of them! We love you all so much, even those we don't even physically know that are reading this!

Here are just a few more pics of our precious boy!

The physical therapists sat him up on the bed and he looked so cute like my little boy sitting up like that! I can't wait until he can do it again all by himself!

A big Santa bear stopped by far a visit and brought him a stuffed Christmas bear. It was so sweet.

Holding his favorite blanket. (I put it in his little hands) For those of you who know Dakota he LOVES his blanket. He would normally be sucking on it if he could. He is so sweet...when other kids are sad or crying he tries to share his blanket with them and put it in their mouth. That's what makes him all better so why not everybody else!?

If he could only suck on it now...I'm sure that would make him all better! :)

WE LOVE YOU KOTA!!!!!!

Post-Surgery

Surgery went well and he is looking more and more like his little self each day. It is so fun to see his sweet little face and kiss him all over! I'm sure if he could talk to us he would tell us to lay off but we just can't.

Pre-surgery...cuddling with his BIG Buzz.

On his way down to surgery.

Post surgery-look at that handsome face!!

We are so grateful that all went well with the surgery and he is recovering well from it. Since the tube has been out of his mouth he seems to move his lips and tongue a lot more. I like to think he is trying to talk to me and give us kisses. His trach is still connected to the ventilator since the surgery and they are beginning to wean him off of that to see if he can go completely without the ventilator. We are praying that he will continue to do well. We still continue to wait patiently and rejoice in all the little things that we see. The doctors still can not tell us either way at this point whether there will be any recovery or not. They seem concerned that he has not made more progress then he has at this point but that does not mean there is not a chance. We continue to recognize that it is all in the Lord's hands as it has been from the very beginning. We continue to see tender mercies from the Lord that give us strength and faith that Dakota is fighting hard to recover and the Lord is by His side.  Please keep him in your prayers as a few more miracles are needed. We have witnessed so many miracles already that we cannot doubt for second that the few miracles needed are so possible.

He is that little engine that can! (check out his cute little splints...he has to wear them on and off like his boots to keep his hands from curling in)

Zach and I continue to be in awe at the love and support that we have and continue to receive from so many! We feel so blessed to have so many behind us cheering Dakota on. We can honestly say that we have THE BEST friends and family in the whole world. Our lives have been touched by so many through your love and concern, even people we have never met. We cannot express the full amount of gratitude that is in our hearts! So, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!! We could not do this without all of you! Here are a few pics of the tiny amount of love and support that has been given to us. It has all brightened up Dakota's room so much and has made it so much more happier to be in.

His cute room!

Cute poster his aunt Annie made

So many cute cards and pictures made with love just for him

More...

More...Check out the cute poster his Aunt Jenny made of all the things he likes to do.

Beautiful flowers sent by our sweet friends

Our cute friends sent us this adorable Christmas Tree and some presents for us and Dakota. Sad to say we had kind of forgotten that Christmas is coming with all of this going on and it was a sweet reminder and such cute presents! Dakota is sure getting spoiled in all of this!

Thanks EVERYONE!

Besides all of this, the physical support that we have been given from our wonderful parents and siblings has helped us so much. Doug and Vicki (Zach's parents) just left back to Utah today. They flew in the day it happened and have been here: sleeping in the hospital, taking turns on the night shift, running errands for us, making us laugh, supporting us when we cried, giving us hugs and kisses, taking all the pictures, and so much more. They left their jobs and life behind to be here with us when we needed it most and it has meant the world to us. It was sad to see them go but I know that we can't be selfish and keep them cooped up here in the hospital forever. My parents have also been amazing through this all. They sat in the hospital waiting room with us crying that whole first day, they missed my brother's wedding reception that was at their house with all their friends that they had worked so hard to prepare for, they have brought us countless meals, done all our laundry, give us breaks to leave the hospital, have gone to the temple a handful of times, laughed with us, cried with us, and gave us hugs and kisses when we needed it most! We couldn't have made it through this without our AMAZING parents!! We love them so much and are grateful to have them in our life!

Dakota's cute grandma's and our cute moms! Making him move and do his exercises.

Goodbye Doug and Vicki. Thanks for all you have done!

I know I have mentioned before that we have been strengthened beyond our own strength and this strength has made me ponder about how this is possible. We have wondered, how can we feel peace in the midst of tragedy? How can we feel happiness when our son is lying in a hospital bed? How do we not just cry all day at the thought of what has happened? Don't get me wrong...we have shed many tears and we still have moments where we feel the weight of what has happened, but for the most part we honestly are in amazement at the strength, comfort, peace, and joy that we feel. We have pondered a lot about this and have come to understand just a tiny bit more about the atonement of our savior Jesus Christ. He truly suffered for us. He felt the pain and sadness that we have felt and has carried this burden upon His back for us that we are able to have our load lightened during this tough time. It is hard to believe that He would do this for me but I know that He did. He has done it for each one of us because He loves us. What a perfect love He has for us! What a great example to follow! My gratitude and love for my Savior has increased SO much because of this.

Keep fighting Dakota!!! We all love you SOOO much!!