Someone who UNDERSTANDS

Every once in awhile we will meet someone that understands a little bit about what we are going through. Often times it is another person with a special needs kid...somewhat similar to Dakota. I love when they stop to ask about Dakota and share their life with me. I love to hear about their journey and how it has gone...the good the bad...anything they would like to share. It has happened at Sam's Club, at Wendy's, at horse therapy, or just through email.

Often times although their story may be similar, it is not quite the same. Most of these people I meet, their child was born with the brain injury. It is rare to meet someone that had a healthy child and through an unimaginable accident or illness their life was then changed like ours.

The other day we were in the DMV and had the chance to meet someone even more like us...someone that every word that came out of their mouth I had experienced in my mind and heart. We could have finished each others sentences because we knew EXACTLY what the other person meant as they spoke each word.

This lady was in her late 40's (is my guess). She didn't say anything at first as she watched Zach and I exchange Dakota back and forth in our arms awkwardly as we often do. :) It wasn't until we were almost done she asked how old Dakota was. Then Zach (who normally doesn't open up much...especially to strangers) told her that Dakota had an accident when he was two. That is when she told us she had backed over her 2 year old a long time ago which left him with serious brain damage and she cared for him for 4 years before he died of pneumonia.

Then she spoke the words that I have felt but have a hard time describing to people who have never gone through what we have (which is majority of people)..."you fall in love with them all over again!" YES..YES...it's like your child is taken from you and you are given another. You mourn your loss BUT yet you fall in love with this new child.

And then she spoke words I fortunately have not yet had to experience..."and then when they pass you have to mourn all over again." Although she explained it was a blessing in her life the timing of her sons passing. He was getting too big for her to be able to care for him anymore and she was facing the decision of putting him in a care facility. That is when he got pneumonia and died. She didn't want to face the decision of placing him in a care facility and Heavenly Father blessed her by taking him home with him.

I don't know what the future holds for us...I literally can't imagine EVER having to put Dakota in a care facility and letting someone else take care of him. I am his mom!! I love him!! Every situation is different and I would never judge someone at all who has to...but I hope that day will never come where Zach and I couldn't do it on our own.

For now...I won't worry about it. I live each day for the day...focusing on the future is WAY too stressful. I love this quote, "Inch by inch life's a cinch, yard by yard life is hard!" AMEN!! Instead I will focus on loving this little BOY (he is a boy now, no longer my baby) that I have fallen SO much in love with!!!